May 2011 Moms

Shy or antisocial?

I'm home with DS therefore he doesn't go to dc and we are never apart, and he does have separation anxiety issues. My family insist he needs to be in dc to socialize more that is not good for him to be always with me.

We were at a birthday party Saturday at Gymboree he didn't want to participate in ANY activity but was pretty content playing by himself or with us. Most kids his age participated and were singing and dancing to the songs the lady was doing...DS stayed as far away from the group.

My mom says I was the same, very shy clinging to her or my dad all the time. My MIL says DH was the same as DS. they both say not to worry, then gain both of us were never in dc, we were both home with our moms or another close relative until we went off to preschool or K.

So do you guys think it is possible it's his personality or should he be involved in activities to socialize more?

Re: Shy or antisocial?

  • Just in the past few weeks I've heard people tell me a couple of times that the reason DD is so prone to stranger anxiety is that she's home with me (or with the nanny). I don't know if it's true or not.

    In an effort to get her into contact with more kids, we switched churches to one that is closer and has great activities for kids, and we're in 2 different mom/kid groups there, plus an English playgroup (live overseas). So 3 afternoons a week she has contact with other kids around her age. Plus she'll soon have a little sister, although obviously it'll be a little while before they can play together.

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  • LO stays home during the day w DH so I've also had concerns about socialization. My pedi recommended that she socialize at least 2 times a week in a class or a play date. We do a weekly toddler dance class that she loves and I've been trying to figure out some play dates but its hard in the winter. LO is very social and friendly, although she still is too little to really play w other kids yet.
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  • See, this makes me think it's a personality thing. You say your LO is very social even though she is not surrounded by kids all the time.

    I take DS to the library for story time at least once a week, twice if I can. We have play dates every so often. But according to my family it doesn't count beacuse he is still with me so he doesn't open up.

    I think it's his personality because with us at home he is a goofball and loves to perform and show off for us but god forbid I try to show grandma how he does the wheels on the bus he won't do it,  let alone at the library, even if they play/sing the songs he knows and loves he turns into a pillar of salt!

  • I take the girls to the library and other activities at least twice a week. At story time Audrey just sits in my lap and refuses to clap or sing along even to her favorite songs.She refuses to talk to any strangers. That being said if she spends at least an hour with someone she will start to open up. I think it is just shyness and not antisocial. 
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  • I'd say shy.  Audrey is in DC every weekday since 8 weeks old and she's still shy and clingy to me in new situations when strangers are present.  She does usually eventually warm up, but it takes some definite coaxing.
    Married 8/9/08
    Miss Audrey Anne born 5/14/11
    Little Sister Sadie Bernadette born 6/17/14

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