I love my DH, I really do. He is an awesome husband and father. He has been incredibly supportive throughout my pregnancy. BUT...there is something that he keeps doing that is driving me crazy!
He has two children from previous relationships, ages 11 and 7. I love my SKs dearly. They started living with us full-time last July (4 days before getting our BFP. Yikes!) Last summer was a stressful time as we transitioned to having two children live with us while I was going through ms and all of the lovely hormones that come with pregnancy. It was a lot to take in at once...knowing that our former "family of 2" was going to be a "family of 5" within a matter of 9 months. Anyways, that's beside the point. We're all doing fine on that front (now).
What is driving me bonkers is my DH's "all knowing" attitude where this LO is concerned. I've always referred to him as the "baby whisperer" as a joke because he is absolutely amazing with babies and toddlers. He has a total knack for them. Of course, most of this comes from his experience with his own children. I, on the other hand, have always been quite nervous around babies. I've always wanted my own though and know that my natural instincts will (hopefully) set in once LO arrives.
Over the years DH has talked about the different things he did as a parent of babies. He was a young parent with not a lot of money. He never used a crib for either of his kids (just playards instead). When his one ex couldn't breastfeed, instead of using formula, they used evaporated milk because that's what his parents used with him. DH is a minimalist. He doesn't think it's necessary to have extra "things". When I wanted a diaper bag that cost between $100 - $120, he didn't understand why I couldn't just get a cheap diaper bag from Walmart because it would "do the trick". Umm...yeah...those cheap diaper bags that are made from cheap material that crack and then need to be replaced, costing more money in the long-run? I eventually found the diaper bag of my dreams at half-price so he couldn't really argue when I purchased it.
I just get frustrated because he is usually so supportive of me and my ideas. He thinks he knows everything that is the right thing to do with the baby because he's been there before. But I've been doing my research for YEARS. I have done a ton of reading and talked to A LOT of moms etc. I respect a lot of what DH says but I also have my own ideas that are based in research and popular opinion. When I mentioned this morning that I want to get a nursing pillow, he asked what I needed one for. He cradled his arms and said that's what arms are for! Grr! I was so annoyed because HE has never nursed. What the heck does he know about that? Yes, he's done a lot of bottle-feeding in the past...but he's also a burly man with strong arms. I hope to exclusively breastfeed. If I want to get a friggen' nursing pillow, I want to get a friggen' nursing pillow! I'm a teacher and make a decent living (also the higher salary earner in our household). I have done a lot to help support my SKs over the years. I've always had expectations for how I wanted to bring a baby into the world and what I wanted for them. I figure that I make a decent living, I should be able to make purchases for items that I think will help make life easier with a baby. I've had to accept the fact that we won't have a nursery etc. because we just don't have the room now that SKs are living with us. That doesn't mean I have to change all of my plans.
So, now that you've come to this point, I thank you! You deserve some gummi worms! Just wondering if anyone has been in the same boat with their DH and, if so, what you've said or done to counter his silly "arguments". I've heard many a mom-to-be complain about their mom's/MIL's/older aunts/bosses etc. giving them unwanted advice. It's easy enough to shirk that off. But what do you do when it's your DH? Please help!