April 2012 Moms

Sleep training: Night #1

We co-sleep everynight.  My baby does not sleep, only cat naps during the day, and wakes several times during the night.  Now that I'm part time here on out, and even though DH is gone until March-April, I've decided it's time.  She has a crib and she's gonna use it!  We've always had a pretty good routine, but have been using my bed to nurse since it knocks her out.  Now, I'm sleep training.  She's almost 10 1/2 months and needs to learn how to soothe without me.  Tonight, I nursed her in our glider in her nursery, played her mobile, and then I layed her down in her crib sleepy but awake.  I'm having a bit of a hard time emotional from listening to her cry so hard and calling, "mamamamamama."  But, after a 30 minutes, going in her room to rub her back a couple times, picking her up and rocking her, SHE"S OUT!!!!    I don't know how long she will be out for, but I'm assuming she exhausted herself.  I need suggestions/encouragement on what do's/don'ts or anything else you may find helpful. 

She knows the music of the mobile because on some of the past successful nights she has fallen asleep to it.  I hope by me popping in the room to help soothe isn't making things worse.  I put her paci in her bed with her, and a snuggly blanket pal to keep her company.  I would say for night #1 it went well, but I think I will need to be disciplined as well.

If she wakes in the middle of the night, what do you think I should do?  BF in her room and put her back in her crib?  What if it starts the cycle all over again at 3am?  Just give her a paci?  She's used to getting the boob when she wakes at night, I don't want to change too much on her too soon.  I hope I don't cave and just put her in bed with me because I might be too tired!

TIA for any suggestions/encouragement!!!!

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Re: Sleep training: Night #1

  • I know a lot of people will offer the breast for less amount of time each night. For example if she eats for 10 mins night one let her eat for like 8 mins on night two and keep working your way down. Gl 
  • Obviously ever baby is different, so it's going to be your own process that works the best. We still haven't got him to STTN, but he's made great progress. The only thing I can currently handle is him CIO to go to bed. I make sure that he's tired, and I leave him in his crib awake. It only took a few nights of "I don't like this" crying, and now he's out before Scout's "10 minutes of bed time music" is over. Since then, he also has been getting up less at night. I do still nurse, but he's down to 5 minutes of up, nurse and back in his crib.

    For some people, going in to soothe works well for them. For me, if he sees me at all, it's a total meltdown. If he's giving the "Holy crap, you've ABANDONED me!" cry, then I'll go in and pick him up. I try not to go in if it's been less than 3 hours since he last nursed, but if it persists, I send in DH (not an option for you) to soothe until it's a reasonable time to nurse again. I nurse in the glider in his room (there's a nightlight so I don't trip), then put him back in bed, sometimes turn on a music soother if he's still stirring a little, and leave him to go back to sleep on his own. Good luck!

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    Micah Leonard
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  • Our routine is very similar to steel's. We only use CIO for going down to bed initially. If she wakes in the night, I normally evaluate her cry. If shes just fussing, she will probably put herself back to sleep. If not, I go to the nursery with lights off, feed her and put her right back in the crib. 30 minutes isn't bad for the first night. Our first night was an hour and 40 minutes. Now, shes out within 5 minutes most nights. Every baby's different, and I truly believe each mom knows what's best for their LO. Go with your gut!! Good luck, mama!
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  • It sounds to me like you did a great job mama!  We started sleep training when our day care suggested it as a way to help her nap during the day,  Honestly for a short period of time, I thought I would DIE hearing my baby cry like she did, but in the end, it has paid off, BIG TIME!

    My little girl was co-sleeping at the time, and although I didn't mind it too much, my husband and I snore, so we were waking her up throughout the night, not to mention that she began to stand up in her co-sleeper, (so not safe, and really super scary), so it became time to move her to her own crib in her own room.

    I am not sure which "method" we used, but it really helped me to have a video monitor (for my own sanity) so that I could see that when she was crying, that she was safe, and ok, and not hurt.  We began to let her cry for a 5 min period, then either I or my DH would go in, give her pacifier to her, (lay her down if she was standing) and pat her back.  Then leave.  In another 5 min if she was still crying, we would repeat the process.  Then wait 10 minutes and repeat the process.  Then keep it at every 10 min till she fell asleep.  It totally works!  

    Now she does not cry AT ALL when being put to bed at night or for naps.  She just turns over and falls asleep!  It is amazing!  It is what most of us, as adults do at night to go to sleep!  Sometimes she will crawl to the end of her crib and turn on her soother and then crawl back to her place to go to sleep...it is unbelievable!

    Like you, I struggled to figure out what to do at night when she wakes, because natural mom instinct says to pick up a crying baby, rock her and put her back to sleep, (which believe me, I did), but I guess unless your baby needs a diaper change, the method says to continue the sleep training method so baby goes back to sleep, and eventually stays sleeping.  Our doctor told us that she no longer needs to be fed in the night time but that she had just gotten used to feeding, so I stopped offering the boob and instead just rocked her.  It took a few nights for her to get used to it, but she doesn't need to nurse anymore in the night.

     

    Well she just woke up from her 5th night in a row of STTN!!!  <knocks on wood> We are so happy for that and it feels so much better than hearing the cries in the middle of the night. Now she wakes up in the morning and "plays" in her crib, babbling and playing with her soother.

     

    It sounds like you are on the right track, good luck mama!  Keep us all posted

    Sorry this turned out so long, congrats if you made it through! 

     

  • Thanks for all the suggestions!  It really helped me figure out the right direction to take.  Even though I did get her to fall asleep, she ended up waking 2 hours later, tried the same technique that I used, then after another 30 minutes of it, I ended up just putting her in my bed.  I feel like I failed.  DH knows that I'm trying this and he thinks I should do the sleep training once he gets back.  My goal was to get her in her crib before a year, but if I wait for DH's support and help that won't happen.  I never had this issue with my older girls, they were great sleepers and STTN at 3 months.  I honestly think that the fact that I'm BFing only at night is the issue.  It's all she wants.  The second she gets the boob, she's calm and goes to sleep.  I'm a bit frusterated because it seems like such an easy thing to fix, but it's not.  I get so stressed hearing her cry so hard she ends up gagging and just about puking.  I wish this was easy, but it's really hard.  I want her to learn how to self soothe, so we can have a better schedule for sleep. I will try again tonight, hoping that she will stay asleep longer and longer at a time. 

    Thanks again for the support!  I really needed your input on this.  You ladies are awesome!

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  • I've been doing the pick up put down technique. I nurse ds until he starts drifting or flutter nursing, then put him down pat his back and shush him. If he stands up and freaks, I pick him up and say our "night, night, sleep sleep" so he knows that it's bedtime, he calms down and I put him down again, patting his back and shushing. It's kinda adapted from the no cry sleep solution book. I did it with my first and he is a great sleeper. 

    We are now at the point that I I pat his back (it's pretty quick patting, like a heartbeat beat) and leave the room. I'm lazy at night so at the first wake up at around 2-3 am I bring him to bed. I need to get better at nursing in the nursery then putting him back, which I plan to do once we get back from vacation. He shares a room with big brother so I can't just leave him to fuss too much. It works for us, and I like minimal crying technique for my own sanity! 

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        DS1 9.24.2010      DS2 4.18.2012        DS3 12.15.2013

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  • At this age I wouldn't nurse in the middle of the night. I would just go in and reassure her that you are there, but let her soothe herself to sleep. I don't know how long you let her fuss before going in either, but I would wait a bit. We did this with Hazel at 11 months and after a few nights she started STTN.
    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • We did sleep training at 3 months with my DS. We hired a sleep consultant and it was the best desicion we ever made. Since then he has slept 12 hours a night with no waking. I tell everyone to look her up because it kills me to hear the challenges people have that can be quickly fixed. A big takeaway for me was the naps. Sleep makes sleep so the better the naps the better the nighttime sleep. I've had people rolls their eyes at me when I tell them how well Seamus sleeps or not believe me, or tell me they don't even want to talk to me lol!  We have flown with him several times, and we go out to other people's houses and he always stays on track. It's almost comical. She has sleep tips on you tube that you should check out, also if you "like" her on FB she posts really great sleep tips, recipes, and articles. www.weesleep.ca is her site and she rocks, best money we ever spent. Not a sales pitch, I just want to share because she truly is amazing!
  • image Irishgingersnap:
    We did sleep training at 3 months with my DS. We hired a sleep consultant and it was the best desicion we ever made. Since then he has slept 12 hours a night with no waking. I tell everyone to look her up because it kills me to hear the challenges people have that can be quickly fixed. A big takeaway for me was the naps. Sleep makes sleep so the better the naps the better the nighttime sleep. I've had people rolls their eyes at me when I tell them how well Seamus sleeps or not believe me, or tell me they don't even want to talk to me lol!  We have flown with him several times, and we go out to other people's houses and he always stays on track. It's almost comical. She has sleep tips on you tube that you should check out, also if you "like" her on FB she posts really great sleep tips, recipes, and articles. www.weesleep.ca is her site and she rocks, best money we ever spent. Not a sales pitch, I just want to share because she truly is amazing!

    Thank you for posting this!!  

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