Parenting

CIO?

Talk to me about "Cry It Out".

So, daughter will be 6 weeks old tomorrow (dear God how times flies). She is absolutely not having any of this sleeping in her bassinet. Or pack and play. Or rock and play. Or car seat. Or swing. Or anything. The only place she will sleep is on my wife or I.

Every now and then, we can get her to sleep in one of the aforementioned contraptions but it is for small bursts of 10-30 minutes once a day or so. Sometimes. Rarely. 

I was talking about this at work today and one of the guys here (who does have 3 small kids, 9, 6, and 3) said that we need to let her "cry it out". He basically said him and wife did the same thing we are doing with their first child. With the next two, they had to let her cry herself to sleep for a few nights in a row and after that- she would sleep fine in her bassinet.

Now, something inside of me just doesn't agree with this. Anytime we hear her cry- I want to come get her. She will cry/stretch a little bit and sometimes she will stop. We usually pick her up when she flips her *** and goes into full scream mode.

But then something inside of me also says "this guy has 3 kids so he must be doing something right by now" so want to trust what he says.

I don't know. I guess I am just a little confused and unsure of what to do. On one hand, I really feel like if she is crying something is wrong- even if she just needs to be held so one of us should be holding her. On the second hand, my wife and I haven't slept in the same bed together at the same time since she was born. We are both just really sleep deprived, irritable, tired, and just powering through this phase. 

Just looking for some advice I guess. Or just venting. Or both. 

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Re: CIO?

  • Go to 0-3 months and ask this.  It will be a shitstorm
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  • I have no real advice. DS was and still is a terrible sleeper. He only slept in his swing and/or our bed until 7 months.

    I have heard good things about "No cry Sleep solution" and we are doing that with DS so far we have had great results.

     

    Also, your DD is too young to CIO in my OP

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  • No.

    Don't CIO yet. 

    She's too little.

    Do you do the 5 S's?

     

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  • No CIO this young. The youngest you can do it is 6months. We waited until 8 months. To do it for a baby this young is just cruel. They are not capable of self soothing at this point.
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  • It's not advised before 6 months. 6 weeks is waaaay too early, your co-worker is crazy. Do you guys swaddle, use white noise, heat the bassinet first? These things may help.


  • No.  Listen to your gut, like you said.  Don't take any advice from people just because they have kids.

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  • 6 weeks is too young, IMO. If she is crying and you need a "time out" I think it's fine to set her down still crying so that you can escape the crying long enough to grow a sliver of sanity. But I'm not on board with crying to sleep at 6 weeks.
  • I personally think 6 weeks is too young for CIO. Unfortunately I have no other advice other than to keep powering though. Those first 3 months are the worst.
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  • Nope nope nope nope nope.

    CIO is cruel before 6 months of age. Babies cannot self soothe before then. It's why both my kids slept in bed with me the first 7 months. Then transitioned to the crib with a little bit of CIO. I'm not against CIO, just when they are older. There is a time and a place for CIO, not before 6 months.

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  • Experts say you shouldn't CIO until 4 to 6 months of age. I'd wait.

    Is there any difference between your arms and her bed? We had to warm DS's sheets with a water bottle before putting him down or it wouldn't work. He was cold. A white noise machine helped him sleep in his crib as well.


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  • What PP's said. I ended up sleeping in a recliner for a few weeks when the lack of sleep got really bad. She slept on my chest. 
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  • Parenting.... in Parenting?

    So, what happens if your daughter falls asleep in/on you guys and you transfer her to a crib? Is that how you get the 10-30 min bursts?

    Do you use a pacifier?

    We had some luck with doing the transfer then trying to calm the little dude when he was in the crib. But a lot of the time he woke up demanding milk.

    Oh, the other "trick" that worked for us was thinking of his schedule in 45 minute chunks. So, if he woke up from a nap, DW would feed him, we'd change him, play a little, etc. If he seemed sleepy at ~40 minutes we'd start to put him down. If not, we'd let him stay up another 45 minute cycle. We found that if we did that he'd go down easier, and usually napped pretty good. But I honestly forget how old he was. At 6 weeks you may just be at her mercy.

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  • image CinemaGoddess:

    No.

    Don't CIO yet. 

    She's too little.

    Do you do the 5 S's?

     

    This is an excellent point.
    You could read/watch Happiest Baby on the Block.
    It thoroughly covers the 5 S's.

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  • Go with that something inside of you that doesn't agree with this.  Your daughter's way too young for CIO, which is one method reserved for babies who are at least 6 months old.

    Are you swaddling at all?  During the day, would it be possible to try babywearing so you can still get things done, and she's still getting sleep?  I get it - it's super frustrating.  When Judith first came home from the NICU, she was still used to being put down to sleep and not being handled, but my parents (and my H & I, to an extent) quickly "broke" her of that habit and she wanted to be held much more frequently as it became her new normal.  Baby wearing helped a ton until she was able to sleep in the RnP more throughout the day.

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  • If she's only 6 weeks, she's crying for a reason, whether that be hunger, too hot, too cold, needing new diaper, etc, etc.

    Once they hit the age where they cry for attention, I've read between 4 and 6 months, then CIO would be effective.

    We did CIO with DS1 and he's been a dream sleeper since...pun not originally intended. We did not have to do it with DS2...he came out happy just about all the time.
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  • image CinemaGoddess:

    No.

    Don't CIO yet. 

    She's too little.

    Do you do the 5 S's?

     

    Oh yeah, THIS!

    Swaddling especially. Swaddling is amazing.

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  • image MrsNorry:
    It's not advised before 6 months. 6 weeks is waaaay too early, your co-worker is crazy. Do you guys swaddle, use white noise, heat the bassinet first? These things may help.

    We haven't tried heating the bassinet first- that is a good idea.

    We tried the swaddle but she goes absolutely apesh!t when we swaddle her. She freaks out unless she can touch her face with her hands. So we were doing half-swaddles with her just so she has her hands free but she still freaks out. I am not sure if she just doesn't like being swaddled or if I am doing it wrong. I did watch a few YouTube videos.

    White noise is a good idea- we will try that next. We have found that she will lay for awhile in her pack and play with the mobile on. So we may try to find a white noise machine to keep next to her.

     

    What are the 5 S's thing?  

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  • That guy is a jackass that needs to be kicked in the nuts. Or he is unaware of exactly how young your child is and doesn't realize he's giving you terrible advice.

    My money is not on #2.

     

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  • image CinemaGoddess:

    No.

    Don't CIO yet. 

    She's too little.

    Do you do the 5 S's?

     

    Sh*t I feel so prepared for motherhood! I actually know what the 5 S's are!!! (And more exclamation points because I'm really excited about this!!!!!)

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  • image GhostMonkey:

    That guy is a jackass that needs to be kicked in the nuts. Or he is unaware of exactly how young your child is and doesn't realize he's giving you terrible advice.

    My money is not on #2.

     

    I thought you were talking about RTV and was all, YOU GET SOME, GIRL.

    Moving on.

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  • image SookieFrackhouse68:
    I really wouldn't recommend it before 6 months.

    That is kinda where we both are. We just feel like we are doing something wrong (which we probably are) if we can only put her down for short stints at a time until she goes bananas. Once we are holding her, she immediately stops crying and turns into the most adorable thing ever.  

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  • Youtube 'baby got colic', too.


  • Whoa flash backs.

    I am on team too young.

    There was a while there where I missed the baby napping on me but now I am pregnant enough to be scared of it happening again.

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  • image RockyTopVols:

    I don't know. I guess I am just a little confused and unsure of what to do. On one hand, I really feel like if she is crying something is wrong- even if she just needs to be held so one of us should be holding her. On the second hand, my wife and I haven't slept in the same bed together at the same time since she was born. We are both just really sleep deprived, irritable, tired, and just powering through this phase. 

    At that age, I believe that if they are crying they need something, and if that something is to be held, they should be held.

    Have you ruled out other issues like reflux?

    ETA: also, try 5 Ss - swaddle, side (hold them on their side in your arms), sush, swing (rock), suck (paci).

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  • The 5 S's are from Happiest Baby on the Block:  Swaddle, shush, swing, suck, and one other one I can't remember right now.

    It worked wonders on our kids when they wouldn't sleep.  Both of them were out of the swaddles super early (like at 8 weeks) but the other 4 S's still worked until they were about 6 months old.

    It was a life saver.  For serious. 

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  • image BostonKisses2:
      During the day, would it be possible to try babywearing so you can still get things done, and she's still getting sleep? 

    My wife does babywear her quite a bit in a sling so she is able to still do things around the house, move around, etc. She will sleep in there pretty easily or if she is awake, is pretty content with that as well.  

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  • This is the Five S's. It worked for my daughter.  And please don't CIO at 6 weeks.

    From this website http://www.happiestbaby.com/5-ss-system-may-help-colic-symptoms/

    If you have tried these techniques with little success, you may want to consider Dr. Karp?s ?5 S?s System.? According to Dr. Karp, to sooth a crying infant, recreating the womb environment helps the baby feel more secure and calm. Dr. Karp recommends:

    • Swaddling: Tight swaddling provides the continuous touching and support your baby is used to experiencing within the womb.
    • Side/stomach position: The infant is placed on their left side to assist in digestion, or on their stomach to provide reassuring support. ?But never use the stomach position for putting your baby to sleep,? cautions Karp. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is linked to stomach-down sleep positions. When a baby is in a stomach down position do not leave them even for a moment.
    • Shushing sounds: These imitate the continual whooshing sound made by the blood flowing through arteries near the womb.
    • Swinging: Newborns are used to the swinging motions within their mother?s womb, so entering the gravity driven world of the outside is like a sailor adapting to land after nine months at sea. ?It?s disorienting and unnatural,? says Karp. Rocking, car rides, and other swinging movements all can help.
    • Sucking: ?Sucking has its effects deep within the nervous system,? notes Karp, ?and triggers the calming reflex and releases natural chemicals within the brain.?

     

  • image RockyTopVols:

    image MrsNorry:
    It's not advised before 6 months. 6 weeks is waaaay too early, your co-worker is crazy. Do you guys swaddle, use white noise, heat the bassinet first? These things may help.

    We haven't tried heating the bassinet first- that is a good idea.

    We tried the swaddle but she goes absolutely apesh!t when we swaddle her. She freaks out unless she can touch her face with her hands. So we were doing half-swaddles with her just so she has her hands free but she still freaks out. I am not sure if she just doesn't like being swaddled or if I am doing it wrong. I did watch a few YouTube videos.

    White noise is a good idea- we will try that next. We have found that she will lay for awhile in her pack and play with the mobile on. So we may try to find a white noise machine to keep next to her.

     

    What are the 5 S's thing?  

    You can even watch the DVD. Try the NCSS too

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