Loss

EDD Tomorrow :( ~Longish Sorry~

Hello Ladies,

   I have missed you all so much. For the past few months I have been hanging out on the TTCAL board. The ladies there are super and really supportive.  I have had a really hard time with the loss of my boys but I am in a much better place than I was when I took a break from this board.

 I started grievance counseling a few months ago. It is one-on-one and my counselor is a great lady. She has helped me so much! If any of you are thinking about getting help... do it! I chose to go to counseling because my husband and I were and still are in two very different phases of grief. It became increasingly difficult to talk about the boys which put a strain on our relationship. We are now in a much better place and he has even come with me to my sessions.

 Tomorrow is my EDD and it is killing me to know that I would hold them and meet them for the first time tomorrow.  My husband and I plan to light two candles for them at our church and we also plan to drop some flowers in a nearby damn in remembrance of them. I would give up everything to be able to go back and change my story to a happy ending. I still think of them every day and I don?t see that ending anytime soon.

I wanted to post this here because so many of you are new (unfortunately new girls come here every day.) I wanted to let you all know that I am in a much better place now and that someday you will too.  I don?t think that our pain gets ?easier? with time I just think that we start to get use to the pain. I think that the pain gets easier to live with. Take care ladies and I hope that your pain becomes easier to live with soon.

Re: EDD Tomorrow :( ~Longish Sorry~

  • Thank you for sharing. It is good to know that it gets better. My thoughts will be with you tomorrow. I haven't hit any big milestones yet, just small ones, but it makes me sad even thinking about them.  
    TTC since May 2011
    Provera x3 late 2011, no natural response. (Previous BCP for 12 years).
     Dx PCOS April 2012. 
    Clomid x 4 - no response.
    First FSH/Ovidrel cycle early Aug 2012 - 18 days of injections, slow growth, erratic estrogen levels, triggered Aug 21st. 
    BFP Sept 4th and Sept 7th! 
     7wk US Sept 28th - triplets! 
    Perfect triplets lost at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix. Allison Grace, James Alexander and Colin Gregory forever in our hearts!  
    IVF #1 10/11/13 -  canceled before retrieval.  
         Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Huge hugs to you tomorrow.

    "Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart"


    BFP#1: EDD 10/19/2007 DD born 9/26/07 at 36 weeks due to PIH and Pre-E

    BFP#2- EDD 12/23/2012 DS born 7/16/12 at 17 weeks due to PPROM and placental abruption
    You will be in my heart forever sweet boy

    BFP#3: EDD 7/30/12 MMC at 7 weeks, 2 days, D&C 12/14/12
    BFP #4: 6/29/13- EDD 3/10/2014 DS born 2/22/2014
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
    **PAL/PGAL Always Welcome!!!**
  • I appreciate you posting. Tomorrow was my EDD too. I delivered stillborn only last week and it feels like such a never-ending tunnel right now. I have good moments and I am hoping to have another baby when we're ready but that feels like it's going to take forever.
    Pregnant after 1 miscarriage and 1 late loss. Due July 20, 2013. I am on daily Lovenox injections after finding out I have MTHFR deficiency and Homocystinuria. I hope with this treatment we will bring home a baby this time. I believe in you, Nugget.
    BabyFetus Tickerimage


    I am a mother to an angel baby boy, born still at almost 39 weeks gestation on January 23, 2013image




  • Thinking of you both today.  Huge hugs.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

     
    BFP #1 DS born on 6/10/2009
    BFP #3 6/17/2013 C/P EDD 2/26/2014 
    BFP #4 7/18/2013 natural M/C on 8/11/2013  EDD 3/30/2014
    BFP #5 9/5/2013  Praying this is our rainbow!
    PGAL/PAL always welcome!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickersImage and video hosting by TinyPicimage

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