LGBT Parenting

Off topic, but a thanks...

Hi ladies- 

I just had to post saying thank you. Thank you for being some welcoming and always so awesome and open with your answers. I was "browsing" on the tttc board and they are just bullies. They actually tell people they are "idiots" and "stupid" just because "they" (the people on the board) do not believe that the poster is having trouble. I think the board needs to be renamed "12 months and still trouble trying to conceive" and it should come with a disclaimer stating "You might be bullied, abused and yelled at, so poster beware."

I could never post on that board and I am thrilled that I don't have to. You girls are just wonderful.  

Married my soulmate on 10.1.11; One furbaby, Emma the cat; Madly in love and Just starting our journey on the TTC path! Trying to Conceive Ticker

Re: Off topic, but a thanks...

  • I could not agree more!  I pretty much stick with this board, pregnant after 35, and pregnant after a loss.  All three of these boards are kind and supportive. 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I love our LGBT Parenting board too! On this board you will never see STFU and GTFO which are daily on TTTC. We even have straight people come in here and ask questions from time to time and we are happy to answer their questions!

    I can't say enough though about reading on the other boards. Sometimes the experienced ladies in TTTC have the exact issue that I'm having and I follow their threads to see how their experience applies to me. 

    Good luck and feel free to ask anything here!

    M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
    TTC with RE since March 2012
    3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
    (2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
    Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
    EDD 11/28/13
  • This is basically the only board that I can feel comfortable on as well.  There are some bullies on the bump!!! Just plain rude! So yes, thank you from me as well!
  • I post on TTTC, you just have to follow their rules if you want answers! (i.e. put all your data in siggy, give an intro on the board before you post anything, no drive-by BFPs, etc.) I just posted a follow up question on TTTC on Manada's post and I'm hoping to get some answers!
    M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
    TTC with RE since March 2012
    3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
    (2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
    Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
    EDD 11/28/13
  • It's so true.

    I post on TTTC (as mentioned by MollyKelley!), but I am always a little relieved when my (very honest!) questions are received well there....   They do have a TON of experience there, and good words of wisdom to share, but there's definitely a culture of social 'rules' to observe.

    I love this board too.  It's nice to have a small community online to turn to...

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 31 (me) & 32 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey:
    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - TWO HEARTBEATS!   Rocky 1 & Rocky 2 are rocking out in there.


  • have you seen the BABY NAME BOARD... its the same they rip people to shreds about names.
    - 2 Moms 2 Twins Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
    image
  • I have to say that although they may be knowledgeable, I could never ask a question and fear whether or not someone is going to bully me and sit behind an anonymous screen name and computer while they do it. It's so sad because maybe they CAN help people and maybe someone who has only had trouble for 8 months could give them helpful advice? It's just sad. 

    I haven't gone to the baby name board....I guess I won't! I literally only come to the LGBT board :D

    Maybe that's why there is 0% child abuse among the gay/lesbian community? LGBT breed love not hate. 

    Married my soulmate on 10.1.11; One furbaby, Emma the cat; Madly in love and Just starting our journey on the TTC path! Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • image polyhymnia23:

    Maybe that's why there is 0% child abuse among the gay/lesbian community? LGBT breed love not hate. 

    Meh. Different boards, different culture and way of handling things. Being upset about not being pregnant after 15 months of trying doesn't suggest I, or anyone LGBT or straight who is having a hard time (physically and/or emotionally) will abuse their children. I'm sorry, but that's an abhorrent implication you made.

    image image

    TTC since October 2011. PCOS, single fallopian tube. HSG showed tube was blocked (this is but one reason why you undergo testing BEFORE starting fertility meds, kiddos). TTC on hold due to DX of Stage IV lung cancer in August 2013, non-smoker. Cancer found due to blood clot in leg (WTF?) DX Stage IV adenocarcinoma of the lung, with liver and bone metastases. Genetic tests of tumor showed positive for rare ALK gene mutation (only 4% of lung cancer patients have it). Started Xalkori (oral chemo) 9/13/13. Scan on 10/30/13 shows lymph shrinkage (yay!). Hospitalized over Thanksgiving (12 days) due to fluid around heart. Underwent surgery to install pericardial window. Xalkori resistance confirmed. Started clinical trial for a new (3rd gen) ALK responsive drug on 12/13/13. Scan on 2/3/13 showed marked improvement. Lymph nodes are shrinking, right lung is opening up and the lesion on my liver has shrunk by more than 50%. CT scan on 3/31 showed marked improvements in both lung and liver, YES! PET scan in two months. 

     
     
  • I was stating a fact, not implying anything. There are studies to prove that there is 0% child abuse found in the LGBT community. 
    Married my soulmate on 10.1.11; One furbaby, Emma the cat; Madly in love and Just starting our journey on the TTC path! Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • I love this board...I don't deal well with the bullies! Thanks for always being so kind guys!
  • image polyhymnia23:

    I have to say that although they may be knowledgeable, I could never ask a question and fear whether or not someone is going to bully me and sit behind an anonymous screen name and computer while they do it. It's so sad because maybe they CAN help people and maybe someone who has only had trouble for 8 months could give them helpful advice? It's just sad. 

    I haven't gone to the baby name board....I guess I won't! I literally only come to the LGBT board :D

    Maybe that's why there is 0% child abuse among the gay/lesbian community? LGBT breed love not hate. 

     

    0% huh?  "Studies" show all sorts of things.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2068731/Gay-couple-accused-abusing-adopted-sons.html

    http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/americas/united-states/120209/gay-sex-pornography-child-abuse-surrogacy-russia

    Not trying to start anything but maybe you should really research these "studies" before you say things like that.

    Me-31/DH-32, TTC since Aug 2011, HSG/Blood work all normal 3 SAs - results all over the place. DX Unexplained 
    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 12R/6M/6F, transferred 1 5d blast, no frosties, bfn.   IVF #2:  12R/6M/5F, transferred 1 5dt, 2 frosties, bfn.    Yale EFT test done, mild inflamation - maybe endometrisis?   FET #1: transferred 2 6d blasts, BFP!!!  Beta #1: 606 e2:303, P: 47   Beta #2: 1,817    Beta #3: 8,625




  • I posted on TTTC when TTC and I wasn't even having trouble.  I was one of the early LGBT posters going the RE route so at the time the TTTC board made sense.  I just introduced myself, followed the 'feel' of their board and it was fine.  They were all very supportive and welcoming even thought I wasn't an IF lady.
    image

    image
  • image polyhymnia23:
    I was stating a fact, not implying anything. There are studies to prove that there is 0% child abuse found in the LGBT community. 

    I've seen those studies, and they're pretty great to say that there is very little to no child abuse among LGBT families - but I won't say that it's absolutely ZERO.   As a social worker I think we have to be careful about those declarations of any community, because it can silence and hurt those very few people who DO experience abuse in their homes...  and that can (and does) happen in any community.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 31 (me) & 32 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey:
    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - TWO HEARTBEATS!   Rocky 1 & Rocky 2 are rocking out in there.


  • image Manada:

    image polyhymnia23:
    I was stating a fact, not implying anything. There are studies to prove that there is 0% child abuse found in the LGBT community. 

    I've seen those studies, and they're pretty great to say that there is very little to no child abuse among LGBT families - but I won't say that it's absolutely ZERO.   As a social worker I think we have to be careful about those declarations of any community, because it can silence and hurt those very few people who DO experience abuse in their homes...  and that can (and does) happen in any community.

     

    Ditto. I am also a Social Worker (pediatric) and have made several reports to CPS re: abuse/neglect from GLBT families.

    Not all GLBT families spend months/years TTC - children come into GLBT relationships in all sorts of ways and not all of those children end up in safe/loving homes. Sad reality.

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • image polyhymnia23:
    I was stating a fact, not implying anything. There are studies to prove that there is 0% child abuse found in the LGBT community. 

    Ehhh, lots of people citing where your statement isn't entirely accurate. I don't know what you were breeding with your posts in here, but it ain't love. I'm sorry you feel such negativity toward an entire board based on your experience with only a few people. Broad, sweeping generalizations are no bueno. You should know that.

    image image

    TTC since October 2011. PCOS, single fallopian tube. HSG showed tube was blocked (this is but one reason why you undergo testing BEFORE starting fertility meds, kiddos). TTC on hold due to DX of Stage IV lung cancer in August 2013, non-smoker. Cancer found due to blood clot in leg (WTF?) DX Stage IV adenocarcinoma of the lung, with liver and bone metastases. Genetic tests of tumor showed positive for rare ALK gene mutation (only 4% of lung cancer patients have it). Started Xalkori (oral chemo) 9/13/13. Scan on 10/30/13 shows lymph shrinkage (yay!). Hospitalized over Thanksgiving (12 days) due to fluid around heart. Underwent surgery to install pericardial window. Xalkori resistance confirmed. Started clinical trial for a new (3rd gen) ALK responsive drug on 12/13/13. Scan on 2/3/13 showed marked improvement. Lymph nodes are shrinking, right lung is opening up and the lesion on my liver has shrunk by more than 50%. CT scan on 3/31 showed marked improvements in both lung and liver, YES! PET scan in two months. 

     
     
  • image polyhymnia23:
    I was stating a fact, not implying anything. There are studies to prove that there is 0% child abuse found in the LGBT community. 

    I think you're referring to the NLLFS study which is used for a lot of LGBT stuff because it's the longest running study of its kind.  The study is great and all, but we're only talking about 78 teens.  So to say that there is 0% in the community as a whole is a big stretch.  Of course there is abuse among the community, there is every community.  Ours just tends to have very very low statistics compared to others.

    image

    image
  • I agree, this is a really friendly peace-loving board, and I love it. I'm glad that its recognized because I think it is a testament to the precedent that the longer standing ladies put in here. I feel lucky to have been able to inherit and be a part of a board like this!

     

    I'm not convinced by the stats that you quote re child abuse in LGBT homes though. I would like to believe it is lower than many homes with unwanted children, but 0% seems to be wishful thinking.

    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!


  • Well, I'm sorry this got a bit out of hand.  I don't think the OP was claiming any of the TTTC ladies are going to be child abuser.  I think it was an ironic comment taken the wrong way.

    I post on TTTC, but I'll admit I have a rough time there.  People's emotions run really high and the board culture is not welcoming.  There are regular posters who call people stupid all the time.  And honestly, the board name should reflect that it's an IF board for people who haven't moved on to IVF.  I'd prefer TTTC 12+ months. 

    TTC #1 since April 2012
    Same sex couple - DW (35) is carrying, donor sperm
    Cycles 1-6 ICI - BFN
    SA normal, tubes open, CD3 BW normal, low progesterone
    Currently banking donor sperm: required testing + bank requirements = at least two month wait
    ICI #7 -Jan 2013
  • image hlke:

    Well, I'm sorry this got a bit out of hand.  I don't think the OP was claiming any of the TTTC ladies are going to be child abuser.  I think it was an ironic comment taken the wrong way.

    I post on TTTC, but I'll admit I have a rough time there.  People's emotions run really high and the board culture is not welcoming.  There are regular posters who call people stupid all the time.  And honestly, the board name should reflect that it's an IF board for people who haven't moved on to IVF.  I'd prefer TTTC 12+ months. 

     Thank you! You are correct: I never stated or implied that any one was an abuser and it was taken the wrong way. :) 

    Married my soulmate on 10.1.11; One furbaby, Emma the cat; Madly in love and Just starting our journey on the TTC path! Trying to Conceive Ticker
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