August 2013 Moms

Baby name rant

So I have always dreamed of naming my daughter after me, not necessarily for me but because I genuinely love my name. I grew up loving my name... Yajaira. I had talked to the father and he originally said he was on board, then he said maybe as a middle name and now he doesn't seem to really like it. He thinks it's too confusing to have the mother and daughter have the same name. I'm so upset because I really don't have another name in mind. Since I was a kid I knew it was what I was going to name my daughter. It just sucks that because I am a woman it's too confusing but if it's a boy and he wants to name him after him there wouldn't be an issue. I just had my heart set on it.
BabyName Ticker

Re: Baby name rant

  • You said father of the baby... not your husband?
    • Adopted DS #1- '05 
    • Adopted DS #2- '07
    • DS born August 1, 2011
    • DD born August 27, 2013

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  • Yup he is the father of the baby
    BabyName Ticker
  • image yayamag:
    Yup he is the father of the baby

    Well as far as I am concerned, if you guys are not together then he has less say in the babys name.

    • Adopted DS #1- '05 
    • Adopted DS #2- '07
    • DS born August 1, 2011
    • DD born August 27, 2013

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  • I agree with him. I'm not into the "jr" names either. I guess I don't understand why you are so frustrated already. Assuming, you don't even know the gender of baby yet.
  • That does sound like kind of a double standard to me. I don't think it would be confusing, just uncommon.   I don't know what type of advice I can give you, but that does kinda suck.

     

    also if it were me, I'd probably just make it the middle name....it's both of your baby so you should find something you both agree on. That's how I would see it at least.  Anyone who has had their heart set on a certain name for years runs the risk of their future baby daddy /mama not liking that name

  • I wish I could just make that decision but we do actually get along well. We broke up before I realized I was pregnant on good terms and he has been very supportive since he found out. I just don't want to cause a rift in our relationship because I know its important we get along for the baby.
    BabyName Ticker
  • I am not a fan of parents and children having the same name, male or female.  I already told my husband I didn't want a junior for a boy.  That being said, if you really love it and you are not together I feel like it is your decision:)

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    Layla 01.08.12

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    Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13

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    My Gang.  Halloween 2013

  • image Sascha3:
    I am not a fan of parents and children having the same name, male or female.nbsp; I already told my husband I didn't want a junior for a boy.nbsp; That being said, if you really love it and you are not together I feel like it is your decision:
    . Ditto
  • We are talking about it already because I don't intend on finding out the gender and he will. So to avoid him giving it away when we pick names we decided we would decide the names before he finds out. We still have a weeks to go but choosing a name takes a while so we started already. I understand people may not like the idea but that can be said with any name you pick. I want to give my name because it's the name I love
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  • One of my closest friend's middle name is her mother's first name. It's not weird or confusing for them at all. They don't go by the same name though. 
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  • I was okay when he suggested it as a middle name but today he seemed to be completely against the name all together.
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  • My aunt has the same first name as my grandmother but everyone calls her by her middle name. It works and never seemed weird to any of us.
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  • Def a double standard, but it is what it is I guess. The truth is you have a long time before you had to decide so I wouldnt be heartbroken yet. I think we went through at least 4 names before we finally settled on one. FWIW, i think it is a beautiful name. We have a tradition in our family of the first name of parent being the middle name of child- I think its nice.

     

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  • Middle name is a perfectly reasonable compromise.

    Be blunt with him. Tell him that this name is really important to you and that you are willing to compromise by moving it to the middle, but now it is time for him to compromise and recognize that it is your baby, too.

    Is he going to coparent with you? If so, I think it's important for you both to give a little and agree on the name. If he's not in the picture long term, I think your opinion matters more.
  • If this was is a boy, would you want him to have the same name as your ex-boyfriend?  I wouldn't.  So maybe that is where he is coming from?

    TTC#1 Me-31 low AMH (0.37) DH-32 perfect

    BFP 10/19/2011 missed MC D&C 11/22/11

    1. Femara (7.5 mg) only - BFN

    2. Femara + Ovidrel+ TI - 2-3 follies- BFN

    3. canceled cycle due to cysts

    4. Femara + Ovidrel + IUI - 2 follies and 38mil post wash sperm - BFP!

    7/27/2012 our precious baby boy was welcomed into the world via c-section.


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    image"Lilypie
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  • I totally hate the whole naming kid after dad thing, and so I feel the same way about naming after mom. Use it as a middle name if you love the name that much. 
    Due with #5 April 22, 2015. 

     Yes it was planned, yes we know what causes that, no we are not on public assistance, and yes we will be getting cable after this. ;)

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  • I don't like using "legacy" names at all, girl or boy. I think middle names are a great way to honor someone. It sounds like this is a compromise the father may be willing to make and you may have to compromise, as well.

    If you have a good relationship, and want it to stay that way, I wouldn't insist on a first name he really doesn't want to use. You wouldn't want him to do that to you, right?

    Maybe you'll have a boy and this will be a non-issue. Either way, give your child his/her own name. Let them be their own person. There has to be one other name you can find and love.

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  • image Sascha3:
    I am not a fan of parents and children having the same name, male or female.  I already told my husband I didn't want a junior for a boy.  That being said, if you really love it and you are not together I feel like it is your decision:)

    This for the first name.  With that said, maybe you can ask him for his suggestions and see if you can come to common ground.  

    LilySlim - (VMOr)

  • i'm going to play devil's advocate here and say i think it's a double standard to not include his opinion.  if he's going to be a deadbeat dad then he has no say but, if he's the father of the baby that plans on being an active parent for the long haul then he has a say.  of course, he would have to prove to you he's in it for the long haul and you would have to genuinely believe and trust him but, that's a whole other post :) 
     
             Baby C - 08.23.13
  • image plunderb:
    Middle name is a perfectly reasonable compromise. Be blunt with him. Tell him that this name is really important to you and that you are willing to compromise by moving it to the middle, but now it is time for him to compromise and recognize that it is your baby, too.

    This. 100% this. Finding a first AND middle name you both agree on is hard enough. A good thing is that as long as he compromises with you, then you will only have to find one name, the first name.

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • image WashingtonQueen:

    image yayamag:
    Yup he is the father of the baby

    Well as far as I am concerned, if you guys are not together then he has less say in the babys name.

    That's insane.

    Just because a couple isn't married does not mean the father can't and shouldn't have a say on a something as simple as a baby's name. It sounds like he is involved thus far and not a dead beat guy who is just along for the ride.

    I say to OP, ask him what his reservations are and also see if you can compromise on a variation of the name  or using it as a middle name.

    BabyFruit Ticker
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