February 2012 Moms

CP: Surrogacy

I was just reading an article about Elton John & David Furnish's 2nd son being born via the same surrogate as their 2 year old.  I always liked the idea of surrogacy pre-pregnancy, but after carrying DS for 9 months and feeling that bond I realize what a strong person that takes!  I know their surrogate was probably making some serious money, but I don't know if that would make it any easier.
[Poll]
image"">image

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

image

Re: CP: Surrogacy

  • That is a difficult question. I would really have to think about it for a while. You just go through a lot during pregnancy!

    image
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    BabyFruit Ticker

  • Somebody I work with will never be able to have children of her own.  I would love to be a surrogate for her, but I would need to make sure my family is complete first. If my next pregnancy is healthy (no high blood pressure) and I go into spontaneous labor, then I might consider VBAC-ing so that I can be a surrogate for my coworker in a few years.  If I end up with a repeat c-section, then I would not be a good candidate as I would like to have 3-4 children of my own, and I can't add any extra c-sections in there.  I feel selfish wanting to finish my family of 3-4 when others can't even have one, but I can't overcome that.
    image"">image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image
  • I actually started thinking about this recently. I would love to do it, but we're not sure when we'll TTC our next, and I worry I will be too old if I wait til we are done.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP 4.17.13   EDD 12.29.13  Miscarriage discovered at 8w3d

    BFP 10.7.13  EDD 6.20.14

    BabyFruit Ticker

    imageimage

  • I picked yes for a close friend or family member. Because I know what it feels like to want a baby more than anything and not knowing if it would ever happen...if someone I knew needed a surrogate, I'd be more than happy to help make their wish come true!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I would consider it if I was asked by a very select group of people. For example: DH's cousin and his wife were having a very hard time getting pregnant. If they had asked I most likely would have said yes. Thankfully she is now 7 weeks pregnant!

    I think it's one of those things where you never really know how you'll feel until you're asked.

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    image

  • I always said that there was no way I'd ever be able to do it, but my sister for whatever reason thinks that she is going to have a really hard time getting pregnant. That got me thinking "well, what if she really does?". I got to thinking that once DH and I are done having children of our own that I would carry her baby for her if needed.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers


    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 

    image

    BFP #1 6-8-11 EDD 2-19-12. DD born 2-3-12 via induction due to pre-e.
    BFP #2 9-7-13 EDD 5-22-14. It's a GIRL! DD#2 is on her way.
  • I wouldn't do it. I loves being pregnant but that's because it was my son I was carrying. I'm really not close enough with anyone that I'd fee obligated to surrogate for.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I voted no. My mom actually asked me this question while I was pregnant. My sister was also pregnant at the time [I was 7 months and she was 7 weeks] and was already having a difficult time. It was obvious something was not right and she ended up miscarrying a week later. My mom asked me if I thought I would be willing to be a surrogate for her, more just thinking aloud, I'm not sure how serious she actually was. I said no. I loved being pregnant with my baby. But it was my baby. The choices I made during pregnancy were made with my family in mind. However as a surrogate, the choices you make, even down to as simple as what to have for dinner, affect someone else's family. And I knew my sister would be breathing down my back from the minute we started the process until long after the baby was born. "Oh, you're not exercising enough." "You need to eat this not that." Etc., even to the point of "auntie didn't do abc while she carried you so xyz is her fault." As much as I love my sister and want her to have the family she wants, my support will be emotional only. I can not physically carry a child for her. It would ruin our relationship beyond repair.

    Also another reasoning why I personally wouldn't do it is every pregnancy has risks, from mild to severe. The next time we TTC, H and I will have to have a long discussion about those risks and weigh the outcome against them. It is no longer about him and I, I have Abby to consider. What if something happened to me? What if there were major complications? For my own child, yes I am willing to take those risks. But I can not take them just so I could carry someone else's baby. Worst case scenario, I would die from whatever and now my family is left without me and Abby without a mother for what?

    To those who would do it, I applaud you. It is a wonderful thing that you would do. But I just can't, however selfish my reasons may be.
    image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I would do it for my twin sister in a heartbeat. I'm not sure I could for anyone else.
    Lauren has Down syndrome and a complete AV canal heart defect
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image

    [url]WWW.MeetingLauren.blogspot.com[/url]
  • image HappyToBe2012:
    I voted no. My mom actually asked me this question while I was pregnant. My sister was also pregnant at the time [I was 7 months and she was 7 weeks] and was already having a difficult time. It was obvious something was not right and she ended up miscarrying a week later. My mom asked me if I thought I would be willing to be a surrogate for her, more just thinking aloud, I'm not sure how serious she actually was. I said no. I loved being pregnant with my baby. But it was my baby. The choices I made during pregnancy were made with my family in mind. However as a surrogate, the choices you make, even down to as simple as what to have for dinner, affect someone else's family. And I knew my sister would be breathing down my back from the minute we started the process until long after the baby was born. "Oh, you're not exercising enough." "You need to eat this not that." Etc., even to the point of "auntie didn't do abc while she carried you so xyz is her fault." As much as I love my sister and want her to have the family she wants, my support will be emotional only. I can not physically carry a child for her. It would ruin our relationship beyond repair. Also another reasoning why I personally wouldn't do it is every pregnancy has risks, from mild to severe. The next time we TTC, H and I will have to have a long discussion about those risks and weigh the outcome against them. It is no longer about him and I, I have Abby to consider. What if something happened to me? What if there were major complications? For my own child, yes I am willing to take those risks. But I can not take them just so I could carry someone else's baby. Worst case scenario, I would die from whatever and now my family is left without me and Abby without a mother for what? To those who would do it, I applaud you. It is a wonderful thing that you would do. But I just can't, however selfish my reasons may be.

    All of this makes so much sense!

    Lauren has Down syndrome and a complete AV canal heart defect
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image

    [url]WWW.MeetingLauren.blogspot.com[/url]
  • I would, for a very close friend (I don't have sisters), although I would definitely wait until after we are finished having children (we want one more).  I'd be a terrible candidate though - I have a bifurcated uterus. 
    11 months old! #andintoeverything
  • Hmmm...this is a good question!  (I think I would do it, not sure if DH would allow it though, it affects the whole family and not just me...)

    You should do another one on donating eggs?! 

    Pregnancy Ticker

    image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Just wanted to add, I would be a surrogate, but I wouldn't feel comfortable using my own eggs.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP 4.17.13   EDD 12.29.13  Miscarriage discovered at 8w3d

    BFP 10.7.13  EDD 6.20.14

    BabyFruit Ticker

    imageimage

  • I hated being pregnant but I would do it for a close family or friend.

    I dont think I could however because of some medical issues I have, it is one thing to have another baby and deal with the medical issues/risks that come along with it....but to put another person's baby at risk would be a whole different world I am not sure I can handle.



    image



    image
  • I couldn't do it. Although I love my baby and I love being a mom, I hated almost every minute of pregnancy. But even if I didn't, there's not a single friend or family member I consider myself close enough to for me to even think about making such a sacrifice.
  • I think I could do it for my sister who doesn't have kids yet or maybe an extremely close family member.  Or Giuliana and Bill Ranci because I love them!!  LOL.  But I had a C-Section and if I can't VBAC for my next LO I don't know if I coul do it.  I want 2 or 3 kids and being a surrogate would mean a 4th surgery and I don't know if I could do it.

    Also, I think it would be really difficult emotionally to do it.  I think I would have to ask them to be Team Green, because I think I would be able to seperate myself from the baby a little easier by not knowing if it was little boy or girl with a name growing inside me.  I don't know how my DH would feel about me doing it though.

    Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I said no - and I feel mean saying it - but I can't. My BIL/SIL are REALLY struggling and it crosses my mind often. I would never use my own eggs either. It would be like mine and someone elses baby - it would have to be THEIR baby entirely!

    I also had a c/s and we would like to have 4 kids, and I don't even know if that's possible to have 4 c/s (DH won't allow vbac after our birth experience. It scares him too much that something could happen).

                    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    Lilypie - (K6Db)

    image

    imageimageimage

  • I would do it for family and close friends. I would have to just be the oven though. I could not do it if the egg was mine. 

    image
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards