I am having a really hard time trying to decide if i 'm going back to work after LO is born. I had expected to work till LO came, however the doctor put me off work in December. so i 'm using sick leave right now and have maybe 4 more pay checks and i'm done. I was expecting to not have to make the decision till maybe April. I have always liked my job but i really want to stay home with our LO. we live 2hrs away from our family and we dont know anyone who can babysit and all the daycares that i have contacted do not accept babies younger than 3 to 6 mos. i dont want to drop my kid off for a stranger to raise everyday. however things will be fiancially tight if i dont go back to work, hubby's overtime got cut at the first of the year and that has already hurt us. plus i work in a Sheriffs office with all guys and there is no where at all i can pump, the only room that locks is the interview room and it has a camera and a 2way mirror! i'm trying to save money any way we can right now and get bills paid but i am just so torn and stressed out as what to do. I also did not get to train the other girl in my office on my job and i know things are not getting done (things that i told her had to be done by 1-5-13, she just called me this past week cause she forgot how) i have lost sleep the past 2 nights because i worry about the things that need done at work and i cant do. but the thought of putting our little guy in the hands of a stranger after we have waited 17 years for him, just eats at me too. my hubby just says to do whatever i want to do, he is leaving it up to me but he would rather have baby's mommie raise him and in the end its my job, do what i want. I just cant decide what i want. I have gotten all kinds of opinions, some are helpful and some are not, one friend told me daycare is for people who dont love their kids as much as stay at home moms! what are you all going to do? I know this is a long post i just need to type it out and try to work it out with myself!