February 2013 Moms

STMs -- Question about A Letter to First Child

Hi everyone,

DH and I were talking last night about how we are a little sad to have to divide oru time and attention for DS as this new little one arrives. (We are really excited about the new baby, but it's hard to watch our little boy and think of all the love we want to give him!)

Anyway, I remembered that someone posted a Letter to a first child on the board maybe a few months ago. Does anyone remember what it was or how I can find it? Google is not helpful. I know it really meant a lot to me to read it, and I wanted to share it with DH.


Re: STMs -- Question about A Letter to First Child

  • I copied and pasted it and sent it to my 12yr old over facebook so she could share it with her friends: 

    Loving Two
    As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
    Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" And I hear myself telling you in mine,"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
    You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
    But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you.
    But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
    More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
    There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.
    And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
    And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.
    And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.
    I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards