February 2013 Moms

weird comment from Doctor

The good news was on Tuesday my doctor said I'm 1 cm. dilated, but then he made some weird comments about my shavings habits downtown.

I try to keep a clean shave at least once a week and especially for sex or doctors appointments...I just think it's cleaner and prettier to look at.

My doctor told me to stop shaving because it could get infected and we don't want that to happen before delivery. (that is fine)

But then he said "I find it creepy that guys prefer that anyway, because it reminds me of a young girls pre-pubecent years and it's like a weird child-fetish."

 

umm...my husband and I did NOT know how to respond to that. We were weirded out and I've been thinking about it everyday since.

: ( also bummed I can't shave anymore...haven't done that in a LONNNG TIME. 

JULY 2015 BABY

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Re: weird comment from Doctor

  • Saying that is beyond inappropriate!

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  • Oh.  My.  God.

    I would have been so freaked out.  I get the infection thing.  Totally appropriate for him to bring that up, though I am like you and keep a clean shave at least once a week.  But the whole preference thing and pre-pubescent.  That's just gross.  He says that's creepy, but I find it creepy that he's only supposed to be down there for obstetric-related issues and then his train of thought veers off onto whether or not a woman shaves for sex or what it reminds him of.  Gross. 

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  • Wow I have no comment for the last part...

    But my doc did tell me the same thing about shaving the top of my bikini area at the last appointment as my c-section is next week.  He said they will trim and clean anything they need but for me not to as it can lead to infection from my c-section incision. 

    I will just be happy when I can groom normally again!

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  • You're doctor sounds like a nutcase. I've been shaving pretty much since I was 16, not because of the preference of anyone else, but because I personally hate having pubic hair. The longest I have gone not shaving in the past 14 years was after my appendectomy last February, and I could not wait to get rid of it! I just felt so much better afterwards. Your doctor should have kept his damn mouth shut. He's there to talk to you about your baby, not your personal grooming habits.

    Also, I call b.s. on his "quit shaving before delivery" thing. Have you ever gotten an infection due to shaving before? I haven't. The most I've ever had is an ingrown hair that wasn't at all painful, more like a little pimple. I say, if you are more comfortable shaving, then go for it. I'd go with your own feelings on this one rather than your creepy doctor's.

  • wow.

    no.

    get a new dr.

    report that one on your way out the door.

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  • image ByeByeBooze:
    Saying that is beyond inappropriate!

     Euw. Yes, totally inappropriate! He can think what he wants but geez, what a way to make you uncomfortable.

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  • ya..it's kind of a relief to not have to shave just because it's hard to get around down there with belly in the way.

    I probably shouldn't have said anything about what my doctor said, but it won't leave my mind! I know things bother me more while I'm pregnant. 

    JULY 2015 BABY

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  • image ByeByeBooze:
    Saying that is beyond inappropriate!

    Uhhh, yeah. It's amazing he felt the need to mention that at all! I understand his sentiment, but it's just the general preference of the western hemisphere. And has been for some time, from what I understand.

    Side note, I haven't shaved anything but my underarms in... months. :/ 

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  • Although I'm kind of on the side of your doctor, I think it's a creepy thing for him to say while staring at a vagina.
        
  • image mrsdugger:

    wow.

    no.

    get a new dr.

    report that one on your way out the door.

    LOL and ITA!!

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  • image +adamwife+:
    Although I'm kind of on the side of your doctor, I think it's a creepy thing for him to say while staring at a vagina.

    This. He can think what he wants about shaving, but to say something like that to a couple when they are there for an entirely different reason tells me he didn't have his filter on. If he's not normally like that then I would let it slide as him having a bad day and not thinking before he spoke.


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  • Sounds like Doc has some issues.
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  • image kelly321:

    image +adamwife+:
    Although I'm kind of on the side of your doctor, I think it's a creepy thing for him to say while staring at a vagina.

    This. He can think what he wants about shaving, but to say something like that to a couple when they are there for an entirely different reason tells me he didn't have his filter on. If he's not normally like that then I would let it slide as him having a bad day and not thinking before he spoke.

    I agree with the bolded. I don't think this is something you need to change doctors over.  Doctors are still people with opinions, even though he should keep it to himself.

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  • Very odd and creepy!  I have a friend who is an NP at Ob/Gyn and she told me to make sure I have things taken care of down there b/c the docs and nurses talk about the patients who don't... So the complete opposite! 
  • Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable with this doctor again. 

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  • I don't think I'd be able to go back to that doctor. Sounds like he has some strange issues. What did your husband think?
  • That is totally weird. TMI, but I shave the Beave because sex feels way better for ME. I don't do it for DHs pleasure, though he probably enjoys it. I have never asked him that question before. 

    You can still trim the hairs. You don't need a crazy 80's bush if you are trying to maintain your usual level of comfort. But to be prepared for your Dr. next time, I would politely inform him that you are seeing him for his medical and professional opinions, not his personal ones. Followed by "thank you for making us feel like pedophiles!" 

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  • image JBos82:

    You're doctor sounds like a nutcase. I've been shaving pretty much since I was 16, not because of the preference of anyone else, but because I personally hate having pubic hair. The longest I have gone not shaving in the past 14 years was after my appendectomy last February, and I could not wait to get rid of it! I just felt so much better afterwards. Your doctor should have kept his damn mouth shut. He's there to talk to you about your baby, not your personal grooming habits.

    Also, I call b.s. on his "quit shaving before delivery" thing. Have you ever gotten an infection due to shaving before? I haven't. The most I've ever had is an ingrown hair that wasn't at all painful, more like a little pimple. I say, if you are more comfortable shaving, then go for it. I'd go with your own feelings on this one rather than your creepy doctor's.

    I HAVE seen infections from shaving, being that I am a nurse in the ER and that is where people often go when they have those problems. Once does not want an infection, even one as small as a pus filled ingrown hair near a surgical incision that goes deeply into the abdominal/pelvic cavity. Infection can kill people.  I would advise to heed your doctors advice and not shave as directed.

    Now, to comment on the doctor's second comment. He should not have given his opinion on shaving practices to a patient.  I can see where he's coming from in his opinion though, because before I started shaving(I was pressured into shaving completely by my controlling/abusive ex husband...now I'm so used to it I prefer it) I had the same opinion. I thought it was weird that men would want a full grown woman to have genitals that pretty much resembled a prepubescent 11-12 year old girls. I feel differently now that I'm used to it. It's SOOO much nicer when I have to wear a pad to not have your hair accidentally get stuck to the adhesive, and many other benefits.

    I also have to admit...I prefer a man do some man-scaping as well. Preferably little to no hair. It's a million times easier to certain things when there's not a hair bush coming at you...just saying, lol.

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  • image JBos82:
    Have you ever gotten an infection due to shaving before? I haven't. The most I've ever had is an ingrown hair that wasn't at all painful, more like a little pimple. 

     

    A friend of mine shaved, got an ingrown hair and then got a Staff Infection.... So I wouldn't for now anyway. Just to be safe.

    and your Dr. is disturbing! 

  • image +adamwife+:
    Although I'm kind of on the side of your doctor, I think it's a creepy thing for him to say while staring at a vagina.

    Agree.  Creepy doctor.  Trend I don't understand.  Trimming, yes.  Grooming shaving, yes.  Full on shaving, I don't really get.   

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.


  • I also adopt your level of grooming, and to avoid potential infections, I get waxed. Would he let you do that?

    Also, do what you want with your pubic hair, regardless of anyone on here agreeing with your doctor or not. I'm sure you're going to, but I just want to point out that I get the point of this post is your doctor's weird comment, not an attempt to open the door for people to weigh in on your grooming decisions. Jeez.

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  • Oh my GOSH!!!! I would have died! I can't believe he said that to you! Completely inappropriate!!

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  • Wow thats incredibly inappropriate for him to say... 

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  • image ByeByeBooze:
    Saying that is beyond inappropriate!

     

    Seriously!!  WTH? EW. 

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    Me: 38, DH: 36, MC 9/07 at 12 weeks DS: 7/25/08 TTC#2 since 11/11 BFP 5/28/12!! DD 1/31/13





  • image JBos82:

    You're doctor sounds like a nutcase. I've been shaving pretty much since I was 16, not because of the preference of anyone else, but because I personally hate having pubic hair. The longest I have gone not shaving in the past 14 years was after my appendectomy last February, and I could not wait to get rid of it! I just felt so much better afterwards. Your doctor should have kept his damn mouth shut. He's there to talk to you about your baby, not your personal grooming habits.

    Also, I call b.s. on his "quit shaving before delivery" thing. Have you ever gotten an infection due to shaving before? I haven't. The most I've ever had is an ingrown hair that wasn't at all painful, more like a little pimple. I say, if you are more comfortable shaving, then go for it. I'd go with your own feelings on this one rather than your creepy doctor's.

    I have gotten an infection from shaving and it was super painful.  I am pretty sure it was an ingrown hair that got infected.  That being said  I still shave...well, when I can see down there;)

    At any rate he shouldn't have said that about the fetish thing.  That's just weird and gross. 

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    Me: 38, DH: 36, MC 9/07 at 12 weeks DS: 7/25/08 TTC#2 since 11/11 BFP 5/28/12!! DD 1/31/13





  • I use the Schick razor with the bikini trimmer on one end and it works really well. Plus then I don't have to worry about a bush or an infection. The fact that your doctor said that is SO unprofessional. I would be slightly mortified. 
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