I posted this on the knot but I haven't gotten many responses so I thought I would try here.
I am getting married in just over two months it is a very small and intimate wedding with only immediate family. I am having my sister as my MOH and my future husband has his brother as best man, these will be the only ones standing. I have a question on what the etiquette is for giving them a gift for standing up.
My understand and please correct me if I am wrong is that normally there is a gift given to the members of the wedding party to thank them for their time and any expenses they incurred to be there to support us on the day. Their expenses include tux for the groomsman and dresses for the bridesmaids. Am I right so far?
So we are paying for (almost) all the expensives. I have bought my sister a dress and jewelry, I will also pay for her hair and make-up. All she needs to supply is shoes which she already has, she has offered to pay for her dress but I have declined. We have also paid for the best mans tux and shoes, we were going to offer but he showed up and basically asked us outright to cover him.
Now when we first started planning I spoke with my future husband about what we could get them as a thank you. That's why I originally started looking for jewelry for my sister, but I got it cheap on sale along with her dress so right now I have spent half as much on her as I did on renting the tux. I do expect that by the time the hair/make-up is done I will have spent about the same on MOH and best man.
Now assuming my understanding about the customary gift is correct, would you still buy a gift for each of them and if so how much would you spend? Thanks.
I don't know if this will play into your responses but every guest (except children) will be given the following favors. A bottle of homemade wine with a personalized label (Matthew and Mary and the date), package of playing cards with a personalized label (Matthew and Mary and the date), coach candle, and a super pretty rock candy stick, ribbon stick and a handwritten (hey I learned something from hanging out here) thank you note.
Asides from the best man having to go to the shop for two fittings for the tux, and my sister trying on dresses I brought to here and getting hair and make up done neither has any other obligations or duties other then show up the day of. There will be no shower, rehearsal, stag/ette, etc. Again I do not know if this will factor in or not.