March 2013 Moms

I feel like people just think I'm fat....

This is super random, but I hate that strangers don't seem to notice that I'm pregnant. In fact I've been offered booze at restaurants twice this week, and DH had to explain to that I'm pregnant and can't have booze. I could understand it at the beginning of my pregnancy, but now I'm 7.5 months pregnant and it just seems ridiculous.

I feel like I'm huge now, and so it makes me feel like I must just look big all over if people think that I'm not pregnant and the giant stomach fits my frame.

I was a pretty average size before pregnancy (size 6 dress). I've gained almost all of my weight in my belly and chest, and I'm perfectly on target with my weight gain.

DH says it's just because my belly is hidden under the table when I sit down to eat, but I think he's just trying to make me feel better. Seriously though, a waiter last week almost brought me a Long Island Iced Tea when I ordered a regular iced tea, and it's giving me a complex. Am I just being over sensitive?

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Re: I feel like people just think I'm fat....

  • I'm in the same type of situation.  All the baby weight is in my belly, so when I sit at my desk or a table or even if I'm carrying something large in front of my stomach, I don't look pregnant.  I wouldn't take it personally about the waiter.  Your husband is probably right.

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  • I agree, they probably just don't see your belly when you are sitting.

     Just the other day I got a random lady at Home Depot shout "Ut oh! The baby is coming tomorrow!" All I could say was "I hope not" then she asked hubby how much longer and he said "about a month and a half" and the lady was like "Oh..." That's why you shouldn't just make comments about strangers!

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  • I had a couple incidents where the person did not know I was pregnant.  One was the building safety inspector.  He did not realize that I was pregnant until I stood up from my desk so that he could check my outlets.  When I stood up he said woah and then got embarrassed.  I work in a secure building and we get randomly inspected going into and out of the building.  One morning I got selected and I had to take off my big winter coat.  The guard got uncomfortable about wanding me since I put off the metal detectors.  He did not realize that I was pregnant until I took off my coat.  I get asked about wine in restaurants almost every time we go out to eat.  Some pregnant women do drink a glass of wine with dinner so that could go either way.

    I have gained 15 pounds during pregnancy and DH and my friends say that I only look pregnant from my chest to my thighs.  I think that it just means that I will easily go back to my prepregnancy size.

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  • I am the director of my churchs daycare that runs about 100 kids so I see a lot of parents per day and just in the last couple of weeks multiple people have asked if I was pregnant. It  cracks me up because I am almost done being pregnant and they are just now noticing and they are people I see almost everyday.. Also one of the kids asked me if I just had a baby. It made me laugh. But I can see how it can be frustrating. Of course the other problem is having one of the pastors of my church call my chubby every time he sees me :) He's an older gentleman and doesn't know its kind of rude. But i just laugh it off.

  • I was with my boys at appts last week with two different pediatricians and neither noticed until I said something (and both asked me to stand up...then said, "You sure are!).

    So I would say, especially if you are sitting at a table it would be easy to miss. Servers deal with so many people every day and just ask the questions they ask. 

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  • I get asked whether I want to order a drink all the time at restaurants, and I assure you that anyone who saw me standing up would know I was pregnant.  I have just chalked it up to the fact that my belly is usually somewhat under the table or that the server just asks everyone the same questions.  Think of it in the reverse -- if you were overweight and the server assumed you were pregnant, that could be really offensive!   
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  • People only notice that I'm pregnant if I'm standing up, have my jacket off, and am wearing a tight shirt.  I've only gained weight in my belly and breasts so I think that's why.  I don't think you should take it the wrong way.  It's only in the last two weeks that I've had random people actually mention something about me being pregnant and I'm at 7 1/2 months, too!  Actually, I had the first random comment when I was 30 weeks --- and I think the baby's had a big growth spurt between then and now.  I think a lot of it is our own perception of ourselves --- I felt like I was super huge but my friends kept telling me that I was barely showing.  We are so used to our own bodies that it's hard to realize that other people don't see the changes in us the same way we do!
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  • Hey don't feel bad, I tell you from working with the public, sometimes you see so many people that you start not paying attention to things like that, I would literally forget a person's face 2 seconds after talking to them, just because it was so crazy busy, so they probably didn't really notice.... Don't take it personally... I know how much we want to show off our bumps though, but sometimes we just pass unnoticed....
  • Last weekend I went for dinner with DH and my parents. I ordered an iced tea while they all ordered drinks. The waitress asked me why I wasn't drinking. So I told her I was 30 weeks pregnant. She didn't believe me. Says I am too small to be that far along. And she isn't the only person to say this to me. That's starting to give me a complex. I would hope my doctor would tell me if the baby was too small. I have an appointment tomorrow and it has been over a month since I saw her last. Its just something I don't want to have to worry about. Some people are just ridiculous! Wink
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  • I think, too, that people get a little shy about assuming people are pregnant. I mean, really, how would you feel if a waiter said, "Oh, I won't ask you what you want to drink. You're pregnant," and then you weren't? Yeesh. Weeks of eating my feelings on that one.
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  • image Licia&Wayne:
    I think, too, that people get a little shy about assuming people are pregnant. I mean, really, how would you feel if a waiter said, "Oh, I won't ask you what you want to drink. You're pregnant," and then you weren't? Yeesh. Weeks of eating my feelings on that one.

     

    Funny you said that cause I was only 5 months pregnant and went out with my husband to celebrate our anniversary at this very nice restaurant. I was wearing a black shirt that I thought didn't give much away, and the waiter offered my husband wine and turned to me and said: "How about you? would you like a Shirley Temple?" I said sure!

    And when he left I told my husband: If I wasn't pregnant he would have been in big trouble.... I'm pretty sure he didn't think I'm under age lol 

  • image KonaAppleton:
    Last weekend I went for dinner with DH and my parents. I ordered an iced tea while they all ordered drinks. The waitress asked me why I wasn't drinking. So I told her I was 30 weeks pregnant. She didn't believe me. Says I am too small to be that far along. And she isn't the only person to say this to me. That's starting to give me a complex. I would hope my doctor would tell me if the baby was too small. I have an appointment tomorrow and it has been over a month since I saw her last. Its just something I don't want to have to worry about. Some people are just ridiculous! [;]


    It seems inappropriate for a waitress to ask why you aren't drinking in the first place. What if the answer was that you were an alcoholic or had some medical issue?
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