Dads & Dads-to-be

Baby #2

Fellas,

Question, now that we have a kid, who is only 4 months old, people are asking if we want more and when. Of course that prompted the conversation and we are going back and forth about timelines, etc. So I would like to hear your thoughts, etc.

If you have more than one, how much time are in between each...?

If you don't what would be your idea situation and why?

We were thinking A) we want more and definitely want at least a year in between each and B) we would like to plan the conception because my wife hated being pregnant in the summer in Southern California. This would put us at either August 2013 or August 2014 to try.....

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Baby #2

  • I came in ready to say "Damn, dude, you don't waste time!" But planning ahead is good too.

    We are leaning yes towards having a second, with the "ideal" spacing being 2-3 years apart. Which means we don't have to worry about it until Son #1 is at least 15 months old or so.

    Planning the conception month can be tricky if only because mother nature sometimes has other ideas. Minimally I would think in terms of a window of months, not one specific month.

    http://i.imgur.com/LQTLw2Q.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • We just had this discussion over the weekend and we don't even have the first one yet!  We pretty much agreed that an age difference of 2-3 years would be ideal.  You can still reuse a bunch of baby gear without having to hold on to it for too long.  You get a slight 'break' from pregnancy and can adapt to your new family situation.

    ETA: I also came in here thinking you were adding another little one


    image
  • We are about to have our 2nd in 5 weeks from today (barring him deciding to come sooner).  Our 1st will be 26 months and change when the 2nd will be born, meaning son #2 was conceived right around when our first was coming up on 18 months.

    This was the plan from the get go.  I'm already 37, my wife 30, and we don't really want to get her into the higher risk category (after 35), and I would like to be done right around 40... I'll already probably be mistaken for my kids grandpa at their high school graduations.  We figure aim for when the youngest hits 18 months to start trying again.  We are currently planning on 3, but if #3 is a boy, my wife has openly stated she would want to go for #4... God knows what she'd want if #4 was a boy too.  She really wants a girl.

    The spacing at 18 months spreads the kids birthdays out throughout the year, and by 2, they are a little more independent, willing to help and able to follow instruction (when they want)... we will see how this go round goes and play it by ear for the spacing for #3.

    Close together is good because you get a tighter bond, someone who is still likely into the same general stuff as you, etc.  Further apart can be better because it allows the older sibling to be more aware of what is going on and able to deal and process with the concept that there is a new little one, and it can be cheaper... if you can get your oldest out of diapers before the new one comes, then you are only buying 1 set of diapers... not 2.

  • My wife is still in the "We can have another baby, but only if you carry it" phase.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • When the first year passes with this guy we will start to work on #2. We want them to be 18-20 months apart.

    image

  • Ha!

    No gentlemen....we're not pregnant yet. I can still count on one hand how many times I've been able to lat next to my wife let alone other things....but we're discussing babies, so that means sex has to come back in the picture eventually, right?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image Coltsdad:
    This was the plan from the get go.  I'm already 37, my wife 30, and we don't really want to get her into the higher risk category (after 35), and I would like to be done right around 40... I'll already probably be mistaken for my kids grandpa at their high school graduations.  We figure aim for when the youngest hits 18 months to start trying again.  We are currently planning on 3, but if #3 is a boy, my wife has openly stated she would want to go for #4... God knows what she'd want if #4 was a boy too.  She really wants a girl.

    Depending on where you live, this is probably not true. We're in our early 30s and at the hospital tour, almost every playground and class we've gone to, we're smack dab in the middle of "typical" parent age. At people's HS graduations the parents who *aren't* in their 50s are gonna look like young parents rather than you looking like a grandpa. Unless you do go for #4...

    http://i.imgur.com/LQTLw2Q.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • image DavidStamps:

    Ha!

    No gentlemen....we're not pregnant yet. I can still count on one hand how many times I've been able to lat next to my wife let alone other things....but we're discussing babies, so that means sex has to come back in the picture eventually, right?

    Yes, at least once ;)

    Speaking of once, we're basically on the once a month plan in our household. Son is 9 months old, the first 3 months was a moratorium so... five or six times total in the last nine months. Oh, and I think we did it 3-4 times total during pregnancy. So that means I've had sex maybe a dozen times in the last 18 months.

    God that sounds depressing to write down.

    http://i.imgur.com/LQTLw2Q.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • We were initially looking at trying to do a two year spacing but that is not going to happen.  I wouldn't mind seeing closer to a three year difference mainly because of how much I fought with my Irish twin sister who is less then a year older than I am.  Also, our friends have a pair that are about 2 years apart and they are still fighting like cats and dogs over everything.  Then again, he is only in kindergarten and she isn't in pre-k yet.
  • image LuckyDad:
    image DavidStamps:

    Ha!

    No gentlemen....we're not pregnant yet. I can still count on one hand how many times I've been able to lat next to my wife let alone other things....but we're discussing babies, so that means sex has to come back in the picture eventually, right?

    Yes, at least once ;)

    Speaking of once, we're basically on the once a month plan in our household. Son is 9 months old, the first 3 months was a moratorium so... five or six times total in the last nine months. Oh, and I think we did it 3-4 times total during pregnancy. So that means I've had sex maybe a dozen times in the last 18 months.

    God that sounds depressing to write down.

    Is it weird that I'm excited that I might get to have sex five or six times between now and 9 months? At this rate, I'll take it!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Hey David,

     

    My 2 boys are just about 22 months apart! We wanted our first 2 closer becuase we always envisoned them be close friends.  My brother and I are 26 months apart and very close. We did everything growing up.  So I love the fact that my boys will have the saem kind of bond.

     There is never an ideal situation as to when you can have your second child.  Whatever is ideal for you is ideal for you.  What you feel is best for your family is what works for your family.  I wouldn't read too much into what is standard is being blasted on web sites.  Save your decision for your family because when it is all said and done its you and your family and your life together.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards