Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

6 Weeks Since Ectopic...

It's been 6 weeks since we had to terminate our ectopic pregnancy.  I was in physical pain for close to 5 weeks and I feel like I'm just starting to grieve.  I'm not one to express my pain so when I told my close family and friends I sort of laughed it off... and I feel like I've been doing that ever since.  I am stuck in this place where I constantly think about what I've lost but I'm not sure that I'm progressing to a healthier frame of mind.  I still start to cry whenever I think about it.  I feel like I should be over our loss by now- my husband is.  We only knew we were pregnant for a little over a week before we terminated it, but we'd already started talking about baby names, I'd already designed the baby's room and had started making lists of stuff to get, and we'd already told our parents and a couple of close friends.Do any of you feel this way- like you should be progressing in your grief but you're not?  Am I being unrealistic in my expectations of myself?  I'm not really sure what I can do.
Age: 29 | DH Age: 31
Diagnosed with PCOS
TTC Since 2009
July 2011- IUI #1 BPN (Clomid, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Aug 2011- IUI Cancelled (Clomid, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Sept 2011- IUI Cancelled (Clomid, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Oct 2011- IUI Cancelled (Clomid, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Nov 2011- IUI #2 BPN (Femara, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Took a break and then found a new RE
Oct 2012- IUI #3 BPN (Follistim, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Nov 2012- IUI #4 (Follistim, Ovidrel, Crinone)
BFP on November 29th
Pregnancy was ectopic and terminated on December 8th

Re: 6 Weeks Since Ectopic...

  • I'm so sorry for your loss!  I just had surgery a few days ago to remove my ectopic pregnancy, we were at just over 8 weeks and are both still pretty shell-shocked by the suddenness and finality of it all. I have no idea where I'll be six weeks from now, but I'd guess that your situation is not unusual. Everyone tells me to take my time and work through the grieving process in my own way, we're all different in how we handle it and there is no wrong way. My thoughts are with you and I hope you can find some peace soon. ((Hugs))



    Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
    Daughter from previous marriage: 20

    TTC #2 since August 2012
    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

    TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014


    All ALers welcome!

  • I had an ectopic in October I was treated with methotrxate but ended up with surgery the next day. Physically I recovered quickly but emotionally it still hard, 3 months later. I'm doing a little better now that we are trying again. But still think how far along i should have been. I think what you going thru sounds very normal. I had many of the same emotions you are dealing with. Feel free to private message if you want to chat more. 
    Me 34 DH 38 Dx PCOS with weak ovulation low progestrone Many clomid cycles Ectopic October 2012 HSG all clear Jan 2013: IUI #1 Bravelle 150+metformin+baby asprin
  • Hi

    I just had surgery for a ruptured ectopic at 8 weeks last week. I definitely feel like I should be moving on but I'm not. It was hard to go back to work and have to act "normal"...normal seems kind of lonely, because on the surface I'm back to my happy self, but that's not necessarily the case. I don't really have any wisdom for you if I did, I wouldn't be feeling this way myself! Haha... but I have been trying to live in the moment and not ignore emotions in favor of thinking "oh, I'll feel better next week/next month/tomorrow." I think it's important to feel what you're feeling each day. That's all I got. Sorry it's not more insightful, but maybe another day! Best wishes and good luck to you!
  • I am so sorry for your loss.

    Please remember to take each day, hour, and minute one at a time. Be gentle with yourself and know that you should be able to take as long as you need to feel whatever emotions you may have.

    It has been over seven months since my surgery, but I am still sad about it. We only knew about our baby for 16 days. With my EDD coming up, it has been kinda hard on me. Time does help though.

    Again I am sorry for your loss. I am sending you positive thoughts.


    married and living happily ever after since 6/2/07

    TTC 11/11 BFP 6/5/12 EDD 2/14/13

    Ruptured Ectopic & Right Tube Removal 6/20/12

    "something inside of me started a symphony, zing! went the strings of my heart"


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Current status: TTCAL since the end of October

    our happily ever after

    Usually bumping from my iPhone or iPad, sorry for m!stakes

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