Secondary IF

SIBLINGS

One thing that concerns me is if I get pregnant my DD will be 5 by the time she gets a sibling. My brother is 16 months younger. We are close.
My question is do you have siblings and what is age gap? Are you close?




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Re: SIBLINGS

  • I can tell you that my girls are 6 years apart. I never wanted it this way but it has turned out fantastic! My older DD is just in love with her sister and loves to hold/cuddle her, feed her, replace soother, etc!
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  • I struggle with this. My DD is 3.5 and I'm already nervous that if we have a second that they won't have a close relationship because they're too far apart in age.


    That said, my sister and I are six years apart, and we are super close now not so much when we were little as we were always at very different stages of life, but now we talk every day. DH an his brother are two years apart and aren't close at all.


    So I guess, even with two kids close in age, you can't guarantee the they will be best friends. It still bothers me though that DD keeps getting older and 2 isn't even on the way yet.
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  • I am 3.5 years apart from my sis and not super close with her altho that has more to do with our personalities than anything. We played together all the time as kids. I do know people whose kids, or even my friends themselves and their sibs, are 5 or 6 years apart who are super close. I really think it just depends on the kids and what you foster as a parent!
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  • image ceebeetee:
    I am 3.5 years apart from my sis and not super close with her altho that has more to do with our personalities than anything. We played together all the time as kids. I do know people whose kids, or even my friends themselves and their sibs, are 5 or 6 years apart who are super close. I really think it just depends on the kids and what you foster as a parent!

    I agree with this completely.  Siblings are for life, and most of your life is spent in adulthood.  Even if they can't relate as kids due to a large age gap, they can become friends as adults.

  • image gennyu:
    Siblings are for life, and most of your life is spent in adulthood.nbsp; Even if they can't relate as kids due to a large age gap, they can become friends as adults.

    Excellent point!




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  • image KKDRAGONFLY:
    image gennyu:
    Siblings are for life, and most of your life is spent in adulthood.nbsp; Even if they can't relate as kids due to a large age gap, they can become friends as adults.
    Excellent point!

    I agree.  I have a brother who is 10 years older than me.  I didn't really know him growing up.  The age gap between us is due to my mothers IF issues.  We are extremely close now. 

    My younger brother is 1 year younger then me and we were best friends growing up and still are. 

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  • I grew up an only child, and it was horrible. I had step siblings enter my life at age 8, but I was never close to them and we hardly speak now as adults.

    DH has a sister and a half brother he grew up with, they are all 4 years apart and they are very close.

    My SIL had hers 7 years apart. They have an okay relationship. They fight alot. Mainly because the oldest is the girl and the younger is the boy and he is wild. But, my daughter was born on my nieces 8th birthday, and they are very close. My daughter is also close to my nephew...they get into trouble together.

    I don't think the age gap really makes a difference, it's more on personalities than age really.

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  • My sister and i are 3 years apart and we're closer as adults than we were as kids.

    MH has an older and younger sister and all three are 4.5 years apart and also pretty close.
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  • My sister and I are 8 years apart.  We were not close when we were younger, obviously, but we are closer now.  My family is not really like me and they aren't too emotional and they are kind of loners, so we don't really hang out or talk too much.  I would say we are "close", but not best friends by any means.  I think that is more of a personality thing though.  My husband has divorced parents and he has a half brother and a half sister that are 13 and 14 years younger than him.  I will tell you that right now they are obviously in two COMPLETELY different stages in life, but he is really close to his siblings.  When they get older I know that they will be close.

    Also, my two boys are 7 and 5.  I REALLY wanted my kids close in age so that they would be "best friends" and they wouldn't have to be so far apart like me and my sister.  I honestly don't know how close they will be.  They are fairly close now, but they are SO opposite of each other that I'm not convinced they will be as close as I had in mind.  If I ever get to have a 3rd, I think I will actually enjoy the age gap this time. 

    TTC #3 (#1 for DH) since September 2011. DX: Unexplained infertility with possible cervical factor. May 2012 did clomid with IUI - BFN August 2012 IUI #2 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN September 2012 IUI #3 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN October 2012 IUI #4 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN November/December 2012 IVF/ICSI #1 Retrieved 12 eggs, 8 fertilized. Transferred 1 beautiful embryo and 5 made it to freeze. Got my BFP! January 2013 u/s showed empty gestational sac. FET cycle April 2013.  Transferred 2 5 day embryos.  BFP!!!!!  2 heartbeats!!!!  EDD:  12/27/13
  • We have super struggled with this also seeing as how DD is now 7 and still no sibling in sight. I think a lot of it has to deal with how you raise them and how you teach them to treat each other. My dh and his sister are 2 years apart and they are kinda close but don't talk so much because he doesn't approve of her husband and the way she puts up with crap. I am the oldest of 6 siblings. My brother and I are 2 years apart also and we don't speak at all. My mother raised us this way though she pushed me and made me get a job at 12 and start paying for stuff at 16, he was allowed to fail and barely pass and never had to work until 18 nor pay for anything. He was "her baby" and could do no wrong so he still has that same attitude with me like he is better than I. My half-sister and brother from my dad's 2nd wife are 10 and 13 years younger than I. I have tried repeatedly to form a bond and we did for awhile but once my dad divorced their mother I'm no longer allowed to visit his 2nd wife so I can only see them on my dad's time. I'm hoping once they are older we will be very close but only time will tell. My dad's 3rd wife had twins this past July and my sister died 3 days after birth due to a brain bleed but my brother survived. I don't think we will have any brother/sister relationship seeing as how there is 27 years of difference... I am just hoping that if and when I give dd a sibling that she will respect the bond that is there.
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  • I have a younger sister and we are 18 months apart and although we fought like cats and dogs growing up she is my best friend in all the world.  I so want my daughter to have that same relationship with a sibbling.  I share your same concerns.

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  • I think it depends on the kids.  My brothers are twins and basically don't speak.

    I'm closer to both of them than they are to the other and I'm 12 years their junior.

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