March 2013 Moms

Baby Shower No Shows

Seriously don't get people. After having 50 RSVP's for my baby shower and 65 people confirmed I was shocked when only maybe 40 showed yesterday. After spending money on food and alcohol for that amount of people and obviously having a lot of waste am I wrong to not want to go out of my way to "get lunch" with the 15 or so people who "forgot" or "had something cone up" in order to get my gifts they supposedly have for me?

i kinda feel like I provided a day to come, you didn't show, and now you want me to spend more money to meet up with you? Hell no!

This happen to anyone else?! 

Re: Baby Shower No Shows

  • While I understand the "something came up" scenario (been there often enough myself), I don't think it'd be unreasonable for you to decline. Not because they forgot, but because of how big a drain on you and your time that would be. I'd just politely explain they are not the only person who missed your shower that made a similar request and to meet up with each person would be too much so late in your pregnancy with so much else going on. If they want to drop off the present at some other point, they're welcome to, but you may not have the time to visit long, etc.

    Personally, if I had a present for a shower I missed, I would drop it off if we happened to be at the same event in the future or I would just swing by, drop it off and leave (not wanting to intrude).

    DD- 11/17/08, DD- 11/16/09, DS- 3/20/13 
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  • I know it's really annoying. I throw a lot of parties and I hate to say it but it happens. every. single. time. In my case a lot of times it's the same people that always do it, and I've already learned not to count on them. Unfortunately, I have to invite them because those are the same kind of people who you would never hear the end of it from if they weren't invited (not worth the battle in my opinion). For what it's worth...in my experience a lot of the people that are now saying "we have to get together so I can give you your present" are just saying that to be polite. I wouldn't worry too much about having to squeeze them into your busy schedule. I also wouldn't even bother coming up with a lame excuse not to go unless the are actually making plans. I usually just give the "o yea absolutely!" line. If they actually try to make plans and I really don't want to go then I would come up with my lame excuse not to.
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  • Did you throw your own baby shower?
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  • I wouldn't post this on the BabyShowers board ....

    Sorry you were disappointed .. 40 ppl showing up sounds like a great turnout ... Its my understanding that anytime you ask for RSVP you can expect 1/3 of those ppl not showing  ..  wedding, showers, etc .. 

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    Happily expecting another miracle !
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  • Oh, and what is the difference between an RSVP and being 'confirmed'?  A yes is a yes, is it not?  Or were those 15 people just maybes?

    And who is saying that you need to pay more money to see them in order to get a gift?  

    This post is full of confusion and most likely fail on your part.   

    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • image breathlife:

    I wouldn't post this on the BabyShowers board ....

     

    Ha - yes.  Agreed.  Don't do it.

     

    Additionally, no showing is highly irritating.  Yes things come up - but things didn't come up for 15 people!  

  • They were confirmed, some even asking where I was registered 2 days before! And when I mean spend money to see them I just moved across Orlando and with the toll roads and gas it's an easy $10.00 just to get to the other side!

    and screw the baby showers board...bitches be crazy on there!

     My feelings are just hurt that people thought skipping was no big deal I mean1 person even text me "I didn't realize you moved to the other side and I don't feel like driving. But let's get together soon for lunch when you're over here?" Seriously?!?

     I'm loving the "just say alrighty" post! My husband and I are just social people, never miss anything we are invited to with reasonable notice and I was hurt that certain people were just like oh lets wait till mid shower to text her and say we can't come and then she won't see it till after... 

  • I just re-read your post on BSB. Considering you threw a kegger in the backyard with a request for unwrapped gifts, I can see how people flaked at the last minute. It sounded like you were just hosting a bbq/get together rather than a shower. I would expect people to say they are coming to a bbq and not show and think nothing of it.

    Perhaps the tone of your event made it seem like NBD to attend or not. 

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  • image caladpi02:

    I just re-read your post on BSB. Considering you threw a kegger in the backyard with a request for unwrapped gifts, I can see how people flaked at the last minute. It sounded like you were just hosting a bbq/get together rather than a shower. I would expect people to say they are coming to a bbq and not show and think nothing of it.

    Perhaps the tone of your event made it seem like NBD to attend or not. 

    So you threw your own kegger for a baby shower? I probably wouldn't have gone, either. Yikes. I think you should post this on the Baby Showers board, just for fun. 

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  • I triple-dog-dare you to cross post this on Baby Showers.

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  • image makeene:

    They were confirmed, some even asking where I was registered 2 days before! And when I mean spend money to see them I just moved across Orlando and with the toll roads and gas it's an easy $10.00 just to get to the other side!

    and screw the baby showers board...bitches be crazy on there!

     My feelings are just hurt that people thought skipping was no big deal I mean1 person even text me "I didn't realize you moved to the other side and I don't feel like driving. But let's get together soon for lunch when you're over here?" Seriously?!?

     I'm loving the "just say alrighty" post! My husband and I are just social people, never miss anything we are invited to with reasonable notice and I was hurt that certain people were just like oh lets wait till mid shower to text her and say we can't come and then she won't see it till after... 

    After reading this post, I think it's safe to say you're projecting.  You threw yourself a kegger BBQ of a baby shower, I think that's probably a good enough reason why you had no shows. 

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  • Just tell everyone that you're really busy preparing for the baby and if they want to bring you a present then they can stop by the house and drop it off, or wait until after the baby is born. Obviously you would put it in a classier way-

    "We missed you at the kegger, things are a bit crazy right now with final preparations before LO gets here, if you'd like to stop by and see the nursery let me know when you're in the area- or after LO is born you can stop by."

    If you really NEED/WANT the gifts they bought for you it's on you to go get them. 

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  • At least you got RSVP's. Most of my friends didn't respond at all, from what the host told me. The day before/day of the shower, I get to read all their FB posts about what cool stuff they are doing that day.  Even one of my "besties" posted the day before about how she was going to go on a hike. When I asked her about it, she gave me some lame excuse about how she's not doing anything that day because she hurt her neck, and how crazy it's been after Christmas (which was 3 weeks ago...) Just be honest and say you forgot instead of making up a stupid lie. And if you never planned to come in the first place, why did you bother sending the host your address for the invite? I don't get people....
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  • 1. Its incredibly tacky to host your own shower
    2. Judging by the tone of your post, you sound incredibly selfish and ungrateful. 40 people is a fantastic turn out!
    3. Who cares if people ask 2 days before the shower where you are registered, people are busy and their lives dont revolve around your kegger
    4. Politely decline for lunch. Say you are too busy getting ready for baby
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  • well actually ladies after posting on the baby showers board I re-did my entire shower

    We opened gifts, played games, got a caterer and had the preggie punch and all. It actually moved it more towards a shower. My mom was technically the "hostess" but after she recently received her divorce papers (christmas eve, yikes) she up and decided two weeks before she wasn't interested in actually doing any of the work...ended up me spending 12 hours with my sister the day before getting it all done...

    Don't get me wrong, I am glad with all the people who came. I just didn't know how to handle the people who gave me the "last minute flake out responses".

    I see it as a celebration and why press so much to be invited just to not come?! 

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