Military Families

DH deploys soon. Packing tonight.

Just needed to get out some frustration.  He's packing for 6 months and has been at it pretty much all day.  Two nights ago he said he was going to start packing, brought a pile of uniforms into the living room, and there they have sat. Every. single. thing. we've needed to get done he has put off until today except hanging a shelf for me. There are so many lose ends, I feel nuts.  Our care plan hasn't been turned in and chances are he will forget it.  We haven't gone over ANYTHING.  I told him I needed a specific POA for our bank (we have separate accounts) and his command told me too.  He says I don't need it and that all I need is a "general POA".  It's like he refuses to follow rules and goes by how he thinks it should work telling me things will be fine since we have online banking and I have access to all that.  I was told in a meeting that our emergency care givers needed an original POA also.  That hasn't been done either and it won't get done....  Beyond frustrated.  This is my first deployment.  We have a one year old and I'm expecting #2.  I don't know if it's hormonal but I am seriously annoyed that our last day as a family has been spent doing this sort of thing.  Perhaps I won't be as ticked off if I hear I'm not the only one whose husband puts all the important stuff off until last minute.  I guess I just saw things happening a little differently and it sucks.....
BabyFruit Ticker

Re: DH deploys soon. Packing tonight.

  •  Why not post the exact time and location too?

    *edited by moderator*

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

  • image HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?
    This is a little overboard if you're talking about OPSEC. She doesn't say where her DH is going, what service he's in, where he's stationed, etc... Don't be rude for no reason. But anyway, yes your DH has been a little lazy. You need to stay up on him to avoid this kinda thing happening, as naggy as it sounds. I'm sorry you don't get to spend quality time together. Maybe camp out in the living room with him and your LO tonight?
    The Day DH and I were married. 10.1.2009
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
  • image HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?
    Saying her husband deploys tomorrow is not even close to an opsec violation. He's not going to arrive in whatever country he is going to tomorrow and many "deployment days" are covered by local news stations anyways

    *edited by moderator*

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?

     Seriously?? Little bit of an overreaction. Not a big deal.  

    *edited by moderator*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • My DH left recently and he also waited until the day before to start packing. He spent all day packing. What a waste of a beautiful day.

    Oh and we also just PCSed about a month ago so he left me with half a house to unpack and a 90% of the wall hangings and shelves to put up even though I've been telling him for weeks to please stop golfing/playing xbox, watching tv, etc to do some things around the house. Men...
     

    Munchkin born 11/22/11
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pipsqueak born 6/9/14
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker





    10500307_704519529613729_3315541686531378540_n
  • It's frustrating, but it's all too common.  

    FTR, the emergency family care form can be done with out your husband.  All you need to do is have it notarized.  Your husband doesn't have to be there for it.   Just take it up to JAG or any notary.  

    My husband has come to a point, with his deployments numbering in the teens, where he dreads leaving any more.  He loves his job, he's just misses more than half of very year with us and it gets old.  He puts everything off until the last minute.  Part of it is just his personality and part of it is putting off having to deal with it because he doesn't want to.  

    I learned a long time ago there are some things I just have to do my self, including some of his packing.   When he brings home the uniforms, I wash them, fold them and pack them in a space bag that has a label with everything in it.  I do the same thing with his socks, t shirts, towels, extra sheets, PT uniforms and other items.  At this point we've packed his bags so many times, I don't need a packing list.  

    I also tend to think you  are making a bigger deal of of things because of the stress of him leaving.  



    image

    Military Newlyweds FAQ Button
  • image F15Wife:

    image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?

     Seriously?? Little bit of an overreaction. Not a big deal.  

    *edited by moderator*

    Funny how you said its "not a big deal" but the moderator felt it was enough information to be edited and to had to post a reminder as a new thread. Its not hard to figure out the big picture based on the small puzzle pieces of information. I wish people would take this more seriously.

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

  • image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    image F15Wife:

    image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?

     Seriously?? Little bit of an overreaction. Not a big deal.  

    *edited by moderator*

    Funny how you said its "not a big deal" but the moderator felt it was enough information to be edited and to had to post a reminder as a new thread. Its not hard to figure out the big picture based on the small puzzle pieces of information. I wish people would take this more seriously.

     

    Im sure the moderator is just being cautious, if she really thinks this is an OPSEC violation she needs to review the rules as well.  Ill say it again, saying her husband is deploying tomorrow is not a violation of OPSEC. First of all she didn't say her husbands unit or station, but the news covers stuff like this all the time(including the name of the unit and station, its not as secret as you think. Saying hes leaving tomorrow is not the same as saying when and where he is landing. Most units arrive at a central large base in country anyways and is again no secret. Its their final destination "outside the wire" thats uaually the secret and why most families aren't allowed to know where their MM is. Most of the time if the military announces to the families its not an opsec issue

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image Ktbug613:
    image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    image F15Wife:

    image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?

     Seriously?? Little bit of an overreaction. Not a big deal.  

    *edited by moderator*

    Funny how you said its "not a big deal" but the moderator felt it was enough information to be edited and to had to post a reminder as a new thread. Its not hard to figure out the big picture based on the small puzzle pieces of information. I wish people would take this more seriously.

     

    Im sure the moderator is just being cautious, if she really thinks this is an OPSEC violation she needs to review the rules as well.  Ill say it again, saying her husband is deploying tomorrow is not a violation of OPSEC. First of all she didn't say her husbands unit or station, but the news covers stuff like this all the time(including the name of the unit and station, its not as secret as you think. Saying hes leaving tomorrow is not the same as saying when and where he is landing. Most units arrive at a central large base in country anyways and is again no secret. Its their final destination "outside the wire" thats uaually the secret and why most families aren't allowed to know where their MM is. Most of the time if the military announces to the families its not an opsec issue

    It most certainly is an OPSEC violation.  

    signed,

    Soldier who was specifically trained by the Army to train other soldiers to understand OPSEC.   



    image

    Military Newlyweds FAQ Button
  • image Ktbug613:
    image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    image F15Wife:

    image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?

     Seriously?? Little bit of an overreaction. Not a big deal.  

    *edited by moderator*

    Funny how you said its "not a big deal" but the moderator felt it was enough information to be edited and to had to post a reminder as a new thread. Its not hard to figure out the big picture based on the small puzzle pieces of information. I wish people would take this more seriously.

     

    Im sure the moderator is just being cautious, if she really thinks this is an OPSEC violation she needs to review the rules as well.  Ill say it again, saying her husband is deploying tomorrow is not a violation of OPSEC. First of all she didn't say her husbands unit or station, but the news covers stuff like this all the time(including the name of the unit and station, its not as secret as you think. Saying hes leaving tomorrow is not the same as saying when and where he is landing. Most units arrive at a central large base in country anyways and is again no secret. Its their final destination "outside the wire" thats uaually the secret and why most families aren't allowed to know where their MM is. Most of the time if the military announces to the families its not an opsec issue

    It is an OPSEC violation. I've read the rules, I'm currently enlisted and teach OPSEC/PERSEC and a cyber security class. ANYTHING that describes troop movement is considered a violation. Yes, the news covers things and those things are approved by a PAO rep. If you have called your PAO rep before posting here then by all means, post the info, and the give me your PAO reps info. Families are given information so they don't feel left out of the loop and when they are given information there is a disclaimer of *this can change and don't share this information with the public or media.* Saying it is not an OPSEC issue because the families know is completely incorrect. That is why the families go through OPSEC/PERSEC briefings prior to deployment.

    And again I say, WHY would you even want to risk it?

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

  • image Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
    image Ktbug613:
    image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    image F15Wife:

    image *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?

     Seriously?? Little bit of an overreaction. Not a big deal.  

    *edited by moderator*

    Funny how you said its "not a big deal" but the moderator felt it was enough information to be edited and to had to post a reminder as a new thread. Its not hard to figure out the big picture based on the small puzzle pieces of information. I wish people would take this more seriously.

     

    Im sure the moderator is just being cautious, if she really thinks this is an OPSEC violation she needs to review the rules as well.  Ill say it again, saying her husband is deploying tomorrow is not a violation of OPSEC. First of all she didn't say her husbands unit or station, but the news covers stuff like this all the time(including the name of the unit and station, its not as secret as you think. Saying hes leaving tomorrow is not the same as saying when and where he is landing. Most units arrive at a central large base in country anyways and is again no secret. Its their final destination "outside the wire" thats uaually the secret and why most families aren't allowed to know where their MM is. Most of the time if the military announces to the families its not an opsec issue

    It is an OPSEC violation. I've read the rules, I'm currently enlisted and teach OPSEC/PERSEC and a cyber security class. ANYTHING that describes troop movement is considered a violation. Yes, the news covers things and those things are approved by a PAO rep. If you have called your PAO rep before posting here then by all means, post the info, and the give me your PAO reps info. Families are given information so they don't feel left out of the loop and when they are given information there is a disclaimer of *this can change and don't share this information with the public or media.* Saying it is not an OPSEC issue because the families know is completely incorrect. That is why the families go through OPSEC/PERSEC briefings prior to deployment.

    And again I say, WHY would you even want to risk it?

    I guess I take it a lot more seriously as a servicemember who has deployed and actually seen the consequences and the delay of movement that has happened bc of OPSEC violations. A lot of times people think it wont ever happen to them so they take it too lightly.

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

  • It's up to him whether he gives you a POA for anything.  I think the fact that you don't have a joint account pretty much explains why he hasn't given you a POA for his account.

    Why do you need a family care plan?  You're not deploying.  If you're concerned about something happening to you, then you can get a POA done yourself for care and custody of your children in case of emergency.  Just go to legal assistance.  As a dependent you're eligible for legal help.

    Packing is important!  Packing last minute is normal and makes sense.  You need a lot of that stuff up till the end, and you don't get a bunch of it till right before you leave.  I always pack at the last minute and lay everything out in the living room.  I think that's what most people do.  While packing may not seem important to you, remember - he's going to a combat zone.  He will not have access to Walmart.  Depending on how remote his location is, most or all of his mail may be pilfered.  He really truly needs what he's packing.   So it's important.  Really, really important.

    It's also normal for some people to deal with their fear of leaving their loved ones and facing deadly situations by pulling away in order to protect themselves a bit from the emotions they're feeling.  He's getting his head on straight for what he has to do.  I know it can be hard, but don't take it personally.  Try to be supportive, strong, and independent.  This is not the time to become needy.  This is the time to stand on your own two feet and give - not take.

    Good luck!  You'll get through this. 

  • image Ktbug613:

    image HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?
    Saying her husband deploys tomorrow is not even close to an opsec violation. He's not going to arrive in whatever country he is going to tomorrow and many "deployment days" are covered by local news stations anyways

    *edited by moderator*

     

    I grew up in an Army family so most of the deployments my family members left on were covered by the news with big pomp and circumstance ceremonies.  However, I married an Air Force man and the AF is more secretive about their deployments.  As a wife I'm privy to the information containing the exact date and time, considering I have to drop him off at the squadron and pick him up. But when talking to family all we are allowed to say is "he leaves sometime next week" or something to that effect.  I can let his parents, siblings, and my family know after the actual deployment date but not before then. I usually call the family after I first hear from him and let them know when he left and that he has arrived at his destination safely.  This is how the spouses are instructed to handle the information by the AF.  And they will change the deployment date if this gets broken.  The first deployment my husband went on got moved up a week when one of the wives posted on FB to let her family and friends know that the deployment was scheduled for a certain date.  

    Also your statement that he's not going to arrive in whatever country he is deploying to tomorrow is not 100% accurate. Depending on her husband's job and branch he very well could.  My husband leaves here one day.  The next time I talk to him is the very next day when he has arrived at his deployment destination.  They are given an hour after they arrive to get settled in and call home before they start their orientation and briefings. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker image
  • image TomHope2011:
    image Ktbug613:

    image HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL:
    Why not post the exact time and location too?
    Saying her husband deploys tomorrow is not even close to an opsec violation. He's not going to arrive in whatever country he is going to tomorrow and many "deployment days" are covered by local news stations anyways

    *edited by moderator*

     

    I grew up in an Army family so most of the deployments my family members left on were covered by the news with big pomp and circumstance ceremonies.  However, I married an Air Force man and the AF is more secretive about their deployments.  As a wife I'm privy to the information containing the exact date and time, considering I have to drop him off at the squadron and pick him up. But when talking to family all we are allowed to say is "he leaves sometime next week" or something to that effect.  I can let his parents, siblings, and my family know after the actual deployment date but not before then. I usually call the family after I first hear from him and let them know when he left and that he has arrived at his destination safely.  This is how the spouses are instructed to handle the information by the AF.  And they will change the deployment date if this gets broken.  The first deployment my husband went on got moved up a week when one of the wives posted on FB to let her family and friends know that the deployment was scheduled for a certain date.  

    Also your statement that he's not going to arrive in whatever country he is deploying to tomorrow is not 100% accurate. Depending on her husband's job and branch he very well could.  My husband leaves here one day.  The next time I talk to him is the very next day when he has arrived at his deployment destination.  They are given an hour after they arrive to get settled in and call home before they start their orientation and briefings. 

     

    It's not just the AF.  My husband is Army and we are allowed to say even less.  We can say he leaves "soon".  I can say he's coming home soon but can't say anything until he's home.  

    And, yes, some people do arrive in country the day after they leave.  Not all deployments are covered by the news.  As a matter of fact, the majority of deployments are not covered by local news.  Just because a spouse is given a date does not mean it is ok to share that date with others, especially on the internet.  

    Like BLT said, if you have permission from the PR person for your husband's unit, please feel free to send her a copy and post away.  Why you would want it out there for the world to see that you are all alone is beyond me.  



    image

    Military Newlyweds FAQ Button
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards