Hello ladies! After posting about this in my BMB and getting so many recommendations to check out this board, here I am. After a visit to the local ER on Friday and a sirens-on ambulance ride to the city, an ectopic pregnancy in my right tube was confirmed and I had laparascopic surgery that night to remove it. We were at just over 8 weeks and baby was growing as it should have been, so I'm having a difficult time coming to terms with this aspect of our loss - but for being in the wrong place, it was a healthy pregnancy with every chance of going to term, so even though I know it had to be done I find myself still feeling horrible guilt about having to terminate that beautiful little soul.
I am trying to focus on the positives where I can find them. The surgery itself went very well. My right tube was huge and rupture was imminent, so my doctor was glad they'd gone in right away rather than waiting as a more conservative approach might have dictated. Because of the size of the pregnancy and the damage it did to the tube he wasn't able to tell why implantation happened there, but likely there had been some blockage. Upon further investigation he found that my ovaries and remaining left tube all looked healthy and clear, so our initial fears of finding a huge mess inside have been relieved and we can look forward to the possibility of TTC again - not without much nervousness of course, I know that fear of a repeat will always be there, but at least we can begin again with the knowledge that things look about as good as they can at this point.
Probably the worst part of all of this is that we had already told everyone about the pregnancy - family beginning at Christmas, and both of our workplaces just a week ago. I don't necessarily regret that we told people, the way we did it was beautiful and a part of me is glad we were able to enjoy that happiness together with our family and friends, but of course it makes things more difficult now. While I'd kept in touch with a few close friends and family through texting Friday and kept them updated with what was going on through everything, DH had only kept in touch by phone with his mom, so Saturday was when he had to start making calls to his close friends and break the news to them. We both have huge families but luckily they're all very close to our moms, so they've both taken on the task of telling each side of our family for us, for which we're extremely grateful. My work has been wonderful as well, I've been told to take all the time I need and my vice principal, at my request, told the staff for me.
So, there is a ton of support out there, at least whenever we feel we can make use of it. I know in time we'll be able to talk about it with people, but for the moment we're holed up at home, sleeping and cuddling and just recovering as best we can on our own. My mom and daughter actually cleaned the house while we were away, which was so very nice to come home to!
Thank you for listening, and for being here, I've been told this is an invaluable place for support and caring and from the little bit of lurking I've done I can already tell that's so very true. On top of general loss support, if anyone out there has had experience with ectopic pregnancy/surgery in particular, I'd certainly be grateful for any insights you can provide.
TTCAL March Siggy Challenge - TV BFFs
Married August 2012. Me: 40 DH: 41
Daughter from previous marriage: 19
TTC #2 since August 2012
BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014
All ALers welcome!