7 Weeks After Loss and Still Grieving

It's been 7 weeks since we had to terminate our ectopic pregnancy.  I was in physical pain for close to 5 weeks and I feel like I'm just starting to grieve.  I'm not one to express my pain so when I told my close family and friends I sort of laughed it off... and I feel like I've been doing that ever since.  I am stuck in this place where I constantly think about what I've lost but I'm not sure that I'm progressing to a healthier frame of mind.  I still start to cry whenever I think about it.  I feel like I should be over our loss by now- my husband is.  We only knew we were pregnant for a little over a week before we terminated it, but we'd already started talking about baby names, I'd already designed the baby's room and had started making lists of stuff to get, and we'd already told our parents and a couple of close friends.

Do any of you feel this way- like you should be progressing in your grief but you're not?  Am I being unrealistic in my expectations of myself?  I'm not really sure what I can do.

Age: 29 | DH Age: 31
Diagnosed with PCOS
TTC Since 2009
July 2011- IUI #1 BPN (Clomid, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Aug 2011- IUI Cancelled (Clomid, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Sept 2011- IUI Cancelled (Clomid, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Oct 2011- IUI Cancelled (Clomid, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Nov 2011- IUI #2 BPN (Femara, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Took a break and then found a new RE
Oct 2012- IUI #3 BPN (Follistim, Ovidrel, Crinone)
Nov 2012- IUI #4 (Follistim, Ovidrel, Crinone)
BFP on November 29th
Pregnancy was ectopic and terminated on December 8th

Re: 7 Weeks After Loss and Still Grieving

  • I am sorry for your loss, but the woman on this board have all suffered late term losses, stillbirth, or infant loss. I am sure you will find support from woman who know what you are going through on the miscarriage and pregnancy loss board.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
  • I am more than 8 months out and I still grieving. 7 weeks is not a long time. Take all the time you need to grieve your loss.  No-one can tell you what your timeline should be.  Time heals, but it's not an instant fix.

    Big hugs!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    image image
    BFP #1 - 01/12/12, EDD 09/12/12, Medical Induction @ 21 weeks 05/03/12
    BFP #2 - 10/30/12, EDD 07/04/13, Natural m/c @ 5 weeks 11/01/12
    BFP #3 - 02/07/13, EDD 10/12/13
    Dx: Incompotent Cervix

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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