February 2012 Moms

Mommy Guilt - is it just me?

I'm a teacher and have the day off tomorrow for MLK Day.  I plan on taking DS to daycare so I can get some school work and house work done tomorrow with no distractions.  Over Thanksgiving and Christmas Break, I took him in as well a few times so I could cook, clean, shop, etc for the holidays.   While I am able to get tons done, recharge my batteries, and have a little needed "me time," I still have major mommy guilt taking him on days when I don't go to work.  Anyone else ever feel that way?  How do you cope?  I feel like I get the side-eye from people when they find out I take him in even when I'm off from work, not that it matters what people think.  I just still feel kind of judged.  
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Re: Mommy Guilt - is it just me?

  • Trust me, If I had the option of taking my kid to day care when I needed "me" time, I would. I love him to pieces... But sometimes it's good to have peace and quiet to actually get something done.
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  • I'm just jealous you have off for MLK day! 

    No help on the mommy guilt, but I think it's fine.  Would you be paying even if the kids weren't there?  If you need justification to make yourself feel better that might be it.  Also, I know plenty of people who send their kids to daycare on days off.  You are not alone.

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  • So many moms do this that I would consider it a right of passage into parenthood!

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  • I bet you aren't getting the sideeye, but that you just feel that way because you feel guilty. I would love some time to get things done, and recharge without Lucia home! I've been in a funk recently and I think that would help. Try not to feel guilty, your time and energy is better spent recharging!!

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  • Exactly. You shouldn't feel guilty at all for taking care of things that need to be taken care of, or recharging your battery and indulging in some time alone.
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  • First DH has  taken Emily to daycare on his days off, about 4 times, his friends always ask him why he doesnt take her every day that he is off because we pay nomatter what.  They cant seem to understand why he stays home with her on his days off instead of taking her to daycare. Guess this works different for dads.

    Anyway dont feel guilty you cant be a good mom if you dont recharge your battery sometimes. You need you time to stay sane.

    The guilt is normal, I took Emily to daycare while I had the stomach bug last week. I felt guilty even though I spent all day in the bathroom and could not have taken care of her alone.

    Enjoy your break.



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  • I do this every time I have a day off. It's the only way I truly get a day off! Don't feel guilty. Everyone needs those days to themselves and to get some things done. DS is all over the place and I cannot get a single thing done when he's awake. If I were spending my "day off" with him, I would spend the day chasing him all over the house. That does not sound relaxing or productive!

     Enjoy your day! 

    DD 3.13.09
    DS 2.19.12

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  • The way I see it, the happier/more rested/relaxed I am, the better mom I'll be to the girls.  The other night after we got home H fed them while I put some laundry away, I got them undressed while he got a bath ready, then he gave them a bath while I did other chores, I helped dress them and he played with them while I got other stuff done.  They were not happy because they could see me but I wasn't giving them much attention, but we had a bunch of stuff that had to get done, including cleaning and laundry in their room that I couldn't do after they went to sleep.  If I had been able to do that during the day when they were at daycare I could have enjoyed those 2 hours with them. 

    They've gone to daycare once when I was home and it was the best thing ever.  I felt kind of shady dropping them off (and even contemplated getting dressed "for work" so my DCP would think I was going to work, but I figured that was nuts) but I did it and got a ton done.  I recently applied for a job where I could work from home 1 day a week and the thought of working at home with peace and quiet is heavenly.

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  • I agree with the PP who said she's take her kid if it was an option.

    Amen. If I could drop the kids off to get a little time to myself I would!
    Lauren has Down syndrome and a complete AV canal heart defect
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