October 2011 Moms

Friday Night Poll (sex related)

I would make this clicking, but TB can't get their sh!t together. Does your spouse or significant other know your actual number of sexual partners? Do you know theirs? Do you lie about yours and why? Do you think they are truthful about theirs?


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Re: Friday Night Poll (sex related)

  • Yes to us both knowing about each other's history -- it's pretty simply, he's my first and I'm his second. Nothing too exciting, no need to lie about anything. I believe him that he's only had sex with one other girl, but I have no doubt he's fooled around, without penetration, with a few more. I don't know that number and don't really care.
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  • I've never been one to care how many partners my SO has had so long as they are faithful to me. It's not something I bother to even bring up. However when DH and I were first dating he asked me. I told him the truth. I wouldn't lie about it because it's my past, and I'm comfortable with it. If someone else isn't then thats their problem. DH was a little weirded out I think because my number was a bit higher than his. He got over it. He told me his number too even though I didn't really care to know. I'm sure he told the truth, but if he didn't that's fine. 
  • I know dh's(it's very low), but he doesn't know mine. He said when we first started dated he didn't want to know and has never asked. My number is much higher than his. I have a friend who lies significantly about it to her husband. I'm not sure if I think it's a big deal or not.
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  • image thetheisens:
    I know dh's(it's very low), but he doesn't know mine. He said when we first started dated he didn't want to know and has never asked. My number is much higher than his. I have a friend who lies significantly about it to her husband. I'm not sure if I think it's a big deal or not.

    Lying about it is a big deal, imho.

    We know both numbers but that's a conversation we had a long time ago and totally irrelevant now.  I can't imagine lying to my partner about that.  If they don't ask, that's a different story. 

  • Yes, but we didn't discuss it till our honeymoon. 
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  • image aliciaroset:

    image thetheisens:
    I know dh's(it's very low), but he doesn't know mine. He said when we first started dated he didn't want to know and has never asked. My number is much higher than his. I have a friend who lies significantly about it to her husband. I'm not sure if I think it's a big deal or not.

    Lying about it is a big deal, imho.

    We know both numbers but that's a conversation we had a long time ago and totally irrelevant now.  I can't imagine lying to my partner about that.  If they don't ask, that's a different story. 

    I figured most people would have had this conversation when dating, but if you lie in the first place you would have to keep the lie up. I know that most people don't care now about who their SO has been with in the past, but how would you feel if you found out they lied in the first place?  Which I guess is what you're saying, the lie is the big deal. 

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  • I don't know if he knows an exact number, but I'm sure he knows it hasn't been that many. His number is easy to remember: Me and his XW.


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  • We both know, but we've been together since we were 20 and our numbers are really low. I think if I had had more experience I might not have been so forthcoming, and I probably wouldn't have wanted to know his number either.

     

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  • Yes, DH does.  I know his.  I don't lie about mine and I know he hasn't either.
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  • We both know, but we've been together since my Freshman year of college (his Junior year). He's a major worrier about STDs (I blame private Catholic school) so he had to know my whole history and I had to get tested before we did anything.
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  • No and no. I've hinted to my number and he's "said" his but I'm sure it's in joking.
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  • It's not an issue but I get curious about these things so I asked when we first started dating. He evaded answering and didn't seem to want to hear my number so that was the end of that. I have a feeling his is lower than mine because I don't think he's had many gf's and he's not the type to have one night stands.

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  • Nope we've never discussed it. It just never came up and both of us are ok with that. We were both tested for STI's back when we got serious, but we still never discussed numbers or even exes.

    I would be willing to bet my number is higher though.
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  • He asked when we first started dating,I told him the truth minus my two rapes as I dont really include them. 

    He told me his number and I read a book years later that his therapist made him write, it had all his regrets,lovers,friends etc. So I believe his number .

    Mine is higher than his and yet he is older. I lost my virginity at an younger age than him. 

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  • image scarlettoctober:
    Yes, DH does.nbsp; I know his.nbsp; I don't lie about mine and I know he hasn't either.

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  • I know his, he doesn't know all mine. I had way more sex, lost my v card earlier and done crazier things but he's been with waaaay more people. He was a pretty big slut.
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  • We decided not to discuss it ever. I know some of his past partners and he has probably guessed a few of mine. We honestly don't care. We were 33 when we met and it's safe to assume we had been sexually active since just after high school. To start adding things up would be silly.
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  • We are each others only.  We started dating around my 16th birthday.  He had previous GFs  but they did not get that serious.   We broke up for the better part of our junior year in high school and I dated another guy, we never had sex.  Good thing too because I think I would vomit if we did, he has become a despicable human.   
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  • We were each others' firsts.  He knows I had two boyfriends before him, doesn't know about the randoms I made out with, though.  And he doesn't know how close my one bf and I came to having sex.  Since we didn't actually have sex, and he's someone who we're both still friends with, I figure it's probably better that he not too much detail about that side of things.

    I know I was his first gf and as far as I know he only even went on a couple dates with one other girl (his bff's sister, right before she got pregnant and engaged to her on-again-off-again high school sweetheart).  I think he probably hasn't even really kissed anyone before me, besides little pecks.

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  • Yes - I know his. I was his second. He knows mine and it?s way way way more. I?m not proud of the way I used to sleep around, but I?ve no regrets either. It?s what was needed at the time.

    DH and I met when we were 19 at Uni, and I was already known as a player Tongue Tied I went with most of his friends before we became an item.

    With that said, I still refer to DH as my first boyfriend, as he was the first and only guy I have ever emotionally invested in. 

    I knew he was only interested in a serious relationship, so I would never have considered just sleeping with him and then moving on. He was "all or nothing" and as it so happened, I was more than ready to settle down.

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  • Also I'm in the camp that as long as he's not lying about possibly exposing me to STDs I really don't care if he lied about the number. It's not really my business as long as it hasn't gone up since I got added to that list. Some people can't handle the truth.
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  • He knows my number, and I know his. Our number has a huge difference. H was a slore. But he has been tested, so we are good. 
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