Baby Showers

Book Instead of a Card

This evening I was pulling out my friend's shower invite and out falls a little insert that I didn't see originally saying in a "cute" way that I should consider bring a book instead of a card.

I already went out and bought the gift, and spent the full amount of my budget. And now I feel obligated to buy a book. I get that it says "consider," but I don't want to be the only one who didn't participate in this little activity and feel odd. So, even though I generally only spend about a buck on a card, I'm going to go find a "favorite children's book." I could go to the dollar bin, but that will make me look cheap. So I'm going to go shell out ten bucks to get a nice, good quality book. So, thanks lovely hostess, for giving me this "fun" option.

To all the ladies who think a book instead of a card is brilliant - it's not. I don't appreciate being told what I should "consider" bringing.  If mom wants books she can register for them and I can buy them as part of the gift budget I have. 

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Re: Book Instead of a Card

  • I would skip the book and do the card. JMO.
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  • Yeah I agree with PP.  Just do what you have planned and get a regular card.  If you are the only one who brought a card, that's ok.  No need to be embarassed.

    You are right.  Shower hostesses and MTBs need to remember that doing the book thing  can put their guests in an awkward position. 

  • image stw_77:

    Yeah I agree with PP.  Just do what you have planned and get a regular card.  If you are the only one who brought a card, that's ok.  No need to be embarassed.

    You are right.  Shower hostesses and MTBs need to remember that doing the book thing  can put their guests in an awkward position. 

    I agree with both pps.  If someone notices you didn't bring a book just say you didn't see the request (which you didn't).  I'm sure there will be others that give a card.  I never give a gift without a card (even if a book is requested and I comply with that "demand") because I refuse to deface a book by writing in it.

    BTW...I certainly understand about your gift budget.  I deduct the amount of the book from the amount I can spend on the actual gift.

  • People really aren't going to notice if you do the book or not. I don't feel obligated to do this and dont worry about what people think. Skip it.
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  • Ive been to a few showers that had the book instead of a card, personally I love the idea.  At the ones Ive attended it works out about 50/50 for the people bring cards to books. 

    Ive gotten my books all from dollar bins, never was made to feel cheap for it.  Personally were building a large children's library, so any book no matter the cost is a great addition.

    Just my two cents 

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  • I was was in the exactly spot before, that I got the book invite after I bought a present and card. I took my original gift with no book, and felt really awkward. Yes, all of the guests do tend to notice if a gift has a book. I felt like a cheapskate.
  • image Mrsveinotte:

    Ive been to a few showers that had the book instead of a card, personally I love the idea.  At the ones Ive attended it works out about 50/50 for the people bring cards to books. 

    Ive gotten my books all from dollar bins, never was made to feel cheap for it.  Personally were building a large children's library, so any book no matter the cost is a great addition.

    Just my two cents 

    Because it's totally the responsibility of the guests to build this grand library for someone's kid.

    It's tacky and gift-grabby to hit your friends up for more stuff.  Let them decide what they want to bring.  It's not like the concept of reading and books is something new...

  • image BeckyTheEngineer:
    Yes, all of the guests do tend to notice if a gift has a book.
    No, "all" guests don't notice.  Most showers, people are talking and chit chatting during the opening and don't pay THAT close of attention to each and every gift.  Or if they do notice, who actually really CARES if someone doesn't give a book?  That's what I want to know - and if someone does care, why do any of us worry about appeasing THAT person? 
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  • image Mrsveinotte:
    Personally were building a large children's library, so any book no matter the cost is a great addition.

    You want a library for your kid?  You build it. 

    Or, you register for books.  But you don't ask for MOREMOREMORE!!!! when people are already getting you stuff.

    Novel concept.

    I swear - the me!me!me! attitude that is sweeping weddings, baby showers, and life in general is making me ill.

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  • image EastCoastBride:


    and if someone does care, why do any of us worry about appeasing THAT person?nbsp;


    Yes! This! The people who are going to sideeye me bc I didn't bring a book, are also the same people who think it's OK to tell me how to spend my money. And I REALLY don't want to appease THAT person.
  • image Joy2611:

    image Mrsveinotte:
    Personally were building a large children's library, so any book no matter the cost is a great addition.

    You want a library for your kid?  You build it. 

    Or, you register for books.  But you don't ask for MOREMOREMORE!!!! when people are already getting you stuff.

    Novel concept.

    I swear - the me!me!me! attitude that is sweeping weddings, baby showers, and life in general is making me ill.

    Amen to all of this.  

    Also, I keep seeing all you "pro book instead of card" posters refer to these magical dollar book bins.  I have never in my life seen one. Or if I have, it must have so resembled a trash bin that it escaped my notice.  I can't imagine a book from one of these bins is what people have in mind when they ask for a book instead of a card.  

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  • I would either do a card or go to kohls and get one of their books for $5...actually they had some at ours from last season for $2.50 
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  • image lindscfa:
    I would either do a card or go to kohls and get one of their books for $5...actually they had some at ours from last season for $2.50 

    Thank you! Those books actually look nice, so thanks for the idea.

    Again, those of you that think book instead of a card thing is brilliant - TAKE NOTE - many guests, such as myself, do not feel like this is a choice. They feel obligated. Even with several others telling them not to worry about it.

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  • image twister22:

    image lindscfa:
    I would either do a card or go to kohls and get one of their books for $5...actually they had some at ours from last season for $2.50 

    Thank you! Those books actually look nice, so thanks for the idea.

    Again, those of you that think book instead of a card thing is brilliant - TAKE NOTE - many guests, such as myself, do not feel like this is a choice. They feel obligated. Even with several others telling them not to worry about it.


    The people who think it's a brilliant idea usually say somewhere in their post, 'we did it at my shower and everyone loved it'.
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  • I was invited to a 'book instead of a card' shower and I completely forgot about the book thing until I arrived at the shower. I felt dumb forgetting it until the gift opening took place and there were others who also did not participate. I think this request can put your guests in an awkward situation.
    I wouldn't worry about picking up a book at this point. I am sure that there will be others who will not be bringing a book!
  • image Bliss+Berry:
    image Joy2611:

    image Mrsveinotte:
    Personally were building a large children's library, so any book no matter the cost is a great addition.

    You want a library for your kid?  You build it. 

    Or, you register for books.  But you don't ask for MOREMOREMORE!!!! when people are already getting you stuff.

    Novel concept.

    I swear - the me!me!me! attitude that is sweeping weddings, baby showers, and life in general is making me ill.

    Amen to all of this.  

    Also, I keep seeing all you "pro book instead of card" posters refer to these magical dollar book bins.  I have never in my life seen one. Or if I have, it must have so resembled a trash bin that it escaped my notice.  I can't imagine a book from one of these bins is what people have in mind when they ask for a book instead of a card.  

    The dollar section at Target always has board books. I always stop and see if there is one that DD doesn't have.  I like them because they keep her entertained while I shop. They are great because DD also tends to destroy them and its no big deal.

    But I would never use one of those as a gift to someone. They are cheap and they look cheap. 

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  • As others have said, just skip the book. As a guest, I don't pay too much attention to what the other guests bring. I only really care about the guest of honor opening my present.

    As a a guest, I really never had a problem with the book instead of a card deal, but I am glad I did not do this for my shower. I can see why this would pose a problem for the guests. I do not feel comfortable or right asking for something else in addition to a shower gift.  


  • image Adam&Eve2:
    image Bliss+Berry:
    image Joy2611:

    image Mrsveinotte:
    Personally were building a large children's library, so any book no matter the cost is a great addition.

    You want a library for your kid?  You build it. 

    Or, you register for books.  But you don't ask for MOREMOREMORE!!!! when people are already getting you stuff.

    Novel concept.

    I swear - the me!me!me! attitude that is sweeping weddings, baby showers, and life in general is making me ill.

    Amen to all of this.  

    Also, I keep seeing all you "pro book instead of card" posters refer to these magical dollar book bins.  I have never in my life seen one. Or if I have, it must have so resembled a trash bin that it escaped my notice.  I can't imagine a book from one of these bins is what people have in mind when they ask for a book instead of a card.  

    The dollar section at Target always has board books. I always stop and see if there is one that DD doesn't have.  I like them because they keep her entertained while I shop. They are great because DD also tends to destroy them and its no big deal.

    But I would never use one of those as a gift to someone. They are cheap and they look cheap. 

    I hear what you are saying, especially if the request says yoru favorite childhood book. Like anyone is going to believe " Elmo goes to the store " is my favorite book.

    FWIW, I got a lot of books at my shower and all I did was register for books. 
    People could see I wanted books, so they got me books.  Simple as that. 

  • I wouldnt buy anything extra. Who cares if you end up as the only one without a book?  

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  • They asked that you "consider" it.  You did.  

    I think it's fine to decide to skip it.  You already purchased a gift.  No need to buy an additional gift unless you want to. 

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  • Something I would like to point out...the MTB probably didn't even know about the book instead of a card thing until she got her invitation.  With most showers, the hosts don't include the MTB in the planning process unless she's a control-freak or something.  So I highly doubt the MTB gives a crap if you don't bring her baby a book.  For all you know, the MTB was horrified that it was in there. 
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  • image twister22:

    image lindscfa:
    I would either do a card or go to kohls and get one of their books for $5...actually they had some at ours from last season for $2.50 

    Thank you! Those books actually look nice, so thanks for the idea.

    Again, those of you that think book instead of a card thing is brilliant - TAKE NOTE - many guests, such as myself, do not feel like this is a choice. They feel obligated. Even with several others telling them not to worry about it.

    i wouldn't get a book at all. You were don't buying and now this. Now you have to go back out to get the darn book. It's annoying. As a guest you should never feel obligated, or worry if your going to be the one jacka$$ that didn't do the book. 

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  • I would do a card. Don't worry about the book (IMO, it's a tacky suggestion).
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  • image EastCoastBride:
    image BeckyTheEngineer:
    Yes, all of the guests do tend to notice if a gift has a book.
    No, "all" guests don't notice.  Most showers, people are talking and chit chatting during the opening and don't pay THAT close of attention to each and every gift.  Or if they do notice, who actually really CARES if someone doesn't give a book?  That's what I want to know - and if someone does care, why do any of us worry about appeasing THAT person? 


    I'll rephrase for you. At the showers I have been to, guests tend to all watch the mom open her gifts. The mom tends to say things like "oh, Jane got me Goodnight Moon and a pack of diapers." Shockingly, guests tend to get a sense of who gave what. I can't tell you who would care about whether other guests got books, but as someone who didn't, I did notice that the majority of guests did give books.
  • Yeah. I guess the idea is that you'd buy a cheap $1 book instead of a card.

    But I HATE this trend. I hate it so much. It infuriates me. 

    If I'm ever invited to one of these, I've just decided, that I will write a book myself, and it will be SNARKY! A kid's book about pretentious shower hosts! ;)

  • image stw_77:
    image Adam&Eve2:
    image Bliss+Berry:
    image Joy2611:

    image Mrsveinotte:
    Personally were building a large children's library, so any book no matter the cost is a great addition.

    You want a library for your kid?  You build it. 

    Or, you register for books.  But you don't ask for MOREMOREMORE!!!! when people are already getting you stuff.

    Novel concept.

    I swear - the me!me!me! attitude that is sweeping weddings, baby showers, and life in general is making me ill.

    Amen to all of this.  

    Also, I keep seeing all you "pro book instead of card" posters refer to these magical dollar book bins.  I have never in my life seen one. Or if I have, it must have so resembled a trash bin that it escaped my notice.  I can't imagine a book from one of these bins is what people have in mind when they ask for a book instead of a card.  

    The dollar section at Target always has board books. I always stop and see if there is one that DD doesn't have.  I like them because they keep her entertained while I shop. They are great because DD also tends to destroy them and its no big deal.

    But I would never use one of those as a gift to someone. They are cheap and they look cheap. 

    I hear what you are saying, especially if the request says yoru favorite childhood book. Like anyone is going to believe " Elmo goes to the store " is my favorite book.

    FWIW, I got a lot of books at my shower and all I did was register for books. 
    People could see I wanted books, so they got me books.  Simple as that. 

    It really is! I don't get why people make it so much more complicated than it should be. And I agree with the PPs about the level of entitlement.  

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  • I read a lot, my husband reads a lot, we hope that our future kids will read a lot.

    Ergo we will register for books.

    We will NOT ask that our guests get us double gifts, because that's what asking for a book instead of a card is, essentially. I went to one shower that did that, and it was very annoying. Like, "Oh, I know you are already getting me a gift, but would you also get me a book, because just a gift doesn't quite cut it."

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  • IDK why you are getting your panties is a bunch over this. Its not like bringing a book is your admission to the shower. So you didn't get a book, BFD!

    The way I see it, a card is going in the trash tomorrow, the book is going to be around for a while, and you will be thought of every time the book is read. And for those who don't want to deface a book, add a sticky note... no harm, no foul.

    JMO.

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  • image vanessaLC:

    IDK why you are getting your panties is a bunch over this. Its not like bringing a book is your admission to the shower. So you didn't get a book, BFD!

    The way I see it, a card is going in the trash tomorrow, the book is going to be around for a while, and you will be thought of every time the book is read. And for those who don't want to deface a book, add a sticky note... no harm, no foul.

    JMO.

    WHAT????  I always take time to pick out a really thoughtful card and write something heartfelt inside.  I don't keep every card I receive, but the ones that are really thoughtful, I definitely keep.  My mom still has all of her cards from her shower for me, and I LOVE looking through them.  I kept all of the cards from Sabrina's shower, and I guarantee they'll be a nice memento for when she's older.  Books get destroyed by kids, and they take up more room than simple cards.  I think it's appalling that you throw cards away the next day...and so flippantly at that.

     Oh and the whole point of the debate is that people shouldn't be told how to spend their money.  Again, it's not like books and reading are a new concept.

  • image Cranang:

    WHAT????  I always take time to pick out a really thoughtful card and write something heartfelt inside.  I don't keep every card I receive, but the ones that are really thoughtful, I definitely keep.  My mom still has all of her cards from her shower for me, and I LOVE looking through them.  I kept all of the cards from Sabrina's shower, and I guarantee they'll be a nice memento for when she's older.  Books get destroyed by kids, and they take up more room than simple cards.  I think it's appalling that you throw cards away the next day...and so flippantly at that.

     This. My mom kept all of the cards from my baby shower. I had no idea until I was pregnant and she gave me a storage bin with things from when I was a baby, including the cards.

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