February 2013 Moms

S+TMs, potty training an older child

We got DD a little potty around Christmas time, and in the last week or so she got really, really interested in it. She didn't actually *do* anything on it, but every time we went in to the bathroom for a diaper change, she wanted to sit on her potty with a naked bottom and practice wiping, and then she threw a fit when I went to put on a new diaper. Now, the PTing book I've decided to follow ("oh crap. potty training") advises PTing between 20-30 months and to pay attention to when you think LO is ready and then go for it not in a casual manner but very directly so it goes faster. Since she's been showing signs, I don't want to miss the ideal window of opportunity for PTing her when it might be a lot easier than if we try later down the road. She also hasn't really gotten into the terrible 2s yet, so she's not being defiant, which could make things a lot easier. Plus right now I only have her to take care of and not a newborn, too

However, LO is due in about 4 weeks, I am totally exhausted, and DH is not going to be around much over the next 6 weeks because of a volunteer firefighting course he has to take. All in all, awful timing to start a serious PTing regimen. I had hoped to hold off until April, when DD will be 2 and we'll hopefully be settled into a routine with LO.

What do you think? Those who have gone through PTing an older child before - would you do it now while she's showing signs and I can concentrate on her alone but when I won't have much help from DH and am really tired, or would you wait a couple of months and hope that it goes well then, too??


BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

Re: S+TMs, potty training an older child

  • I'd give it a go, if it's a major fail I'd leave it until later. DD's not showing many signs that she's ready but I'm trying to get her used to the toilet and the idea. I'm going to wait a few months and then my Mum's going to come and help me out for a week or so.
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  • With #1 I did everything the books said and caved to the pressure from family members to get him trained by a certain age.  He wasn't interested at all and it ended up prolonging the entire thing and creating a lot of unnecessary laundry.  We started training a little after age 2 and I don't think he was completely day trained until he was closer to 3. So it was a whole year of agony.

    With #2 I decided to wait until he was ready and follow his cues, regardless of age and it went so smoothly.  He decided he wanted to do it at age 2.5 and it was only three days before he was day trained. 

    I'm sticking to that philosophy from now on.  People keep telling me I need to train DD now, but she isn't really showing any signs of interest other than letting me know she is dirty or wet (something I've come to realize isn't an indicator of readiness to potty train, but more of just a normal developmental milestone).

    I've never trained right before we had a baby, but I've had friends and family that did and they dealt with serious regression after the baby came and essentially had to start over, so I would at least wait until the baby comes.  I trained DS2 when DD was less than six months old and it wasn't a big deal at all.  That's probably what I'll do this time too.

    My biggest word of advice is to follow your DDs lead.  If she wants the diaper, let her have it for now.  It will save you a ton of stress!!

     

        
  • I'm in the exact same situation as you except I've introduced it a long time ago and he goes a couple times a day on it, however I'm very laid back and let him decide if he wants to wear a diaper or not. My reason for not pushing right now even though I think he's there is because of baby coming and him digressing. He needs help on and off the potty and I worry if I'm nursing I can't give him all that help in an emergency. But then again I still have five weeks and feel like maybe I should give it a go! Curious what others think! Good luck
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  • image kellysgirl2006:
    I'm in the exact same situation as you except I've introduced it a long time ago and he goes a couple times a day on it, however I'm very laid back and let him decide if he wants to wear a diaper or not. My reason for not pushing right now even though I think he's there is because of baby coming and him digressing. He needs help on and off the potty and I worry if I'm nursing I can't give him all that help in an emergency. But then again I still have five weeks and feel like maybe I should give it a go! Curious what others think! Good luck

    I'm right here - Liam asks to go on the potty but we haven't fully committed to underwear full time. My plan is the second month of my maternity leave when hopefully I'll be able to concentrate on him more, we won't be going out very much, and we can be consistent without having to worry about how daycare handles it.  

  • I had no plans of PTing Jack until he was 2.5 yrs, but he started to show interest and sort of just started doing it.  We kind of grabbed on while he was interested (he was 2y2m at the time), and he actually PT'ed himself reasonably well.  He has had regressions since then (some days he wants diapers and, truthfully, at this point I encourage him to use underpants and the potty but I don't have the energy to force it with him).  And I FULLY expect that we will have regressions in response to the new baby.  
    Missed m/c discovered 3/15/12 at 8w2d: "Henry."
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    "Does the little one with the cheekbones know that the prince is in love with him?"

    Jack 04/29/10 dairy, peanut and seasonal allergies; Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism
    Rhys 01/25/13 Peanut and tree nut allergy, MSPI
    Lilypie - (cF7R) Lilypie - (Phka)



  • You can always go and give it a try, but be accepting if when little one comes DD relapses.I started training DS back around late August. He got it down pretty well really quickly. We had a small relapse but only when it came to using potty's in public places. But we got that mastered in a week. He has been doing really well now. No accidents since before Halloween.

    What I did for potty training was I started him in a pullup(only 2 days though) and everytime I went to the bathroom, i took him in and sat him on his potty to try. The pull-ups had to go though because I realized he did not really care if he went in it. Too much like a diaper I think. So We went straight to real underwear. After 2 accidents in those, he did not like the feeling immediatly so it helped him learn really quickly. As the day went on, i would just ask him if he had to go potty every 20-30 minutes. Soon he was able to tell me he had to go and would go. Didn't take that long

    You have to be ready to give it your all. And reward systems are good too, we did stickers on a chart.

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  • I potty trained DS before I had DD so I wouldn't have two kids in diapers, the only cue he had given me was taking off his diapers (not really a cue I know haha) he did fine even though he had given me no signs he was ready, it took a week, we went straight into underwear every day and he sat on his little potty in the living room with a book for the first week or so, until he got into the swing of things, he got a jelly bean when he went pee and two if he did a poop. After four days he went to the big potty after every meal, first thing in the morning and before bath every night and I moved his little potty to his room. I did it without DH around and honestly I would go for it if I were you, especially if she's into it. It takes dedication for sure but it's so nice to have it done, DS never regressed when DD came along, we had a few more accidents for the first little while she was here but nothing major (I think more because I had less time). If you have a little potty that your DD can get to herself its wayyyyy easier too. Good luck though!
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  • Thanks for sharing your experiences! I'm definitely not trying to push things. If anything, I was hoping she wouldn't show signs of being ready for another few months because honestly, I don't find diapering that bad and think it's pretty convenient that I never have to think about finding a potty for her when we're out and about. I just don't want to miss a good opportunity if she is ready now. Sigh.

    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

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