School-Aged Children

HELP!!!

About 2 months ago I started back to work after 3 years of being home with my son ( hubby is staying home with the kiddos). Since my 1st day of work my son has peed and pooped his pants EVERYDAY.... I nor my hubby know what to do anymore. Time outs or a pat on the butt arn't working. We have even tried making him clean his undies out himself.... but i have not seen any change. i need ideas on what to do. Is this just a phase?????

Re: HELP!!!

  • I had a similar problem when I went back to work. My son was having accidents and things just weren't the same, it was almost like he was mad at me for working. I had a talk with both my boys and they didn't like me working. They wanted me to pick them up from school and sit at the table doing homework before dinner and have play time after dinner. Working didn't allow all that, I literally had 3 hours after work to spend with them and have them bathed and in bed by 9. So i spoke with my husband and we decided being at home was better for all of us. I love working and having a paycheck and getting out, but my kids suffer from it because they got so used to me being there for them. They are older and can speak their minds easily (5 years and 8 years old). I hope you can figure out the problem, but something to think about.
  • He's going through a MAJOR change, and he's only 3.  Many little boys don't begin really using the potty until they're 3.  So a potty regression at this age isn't something that really merits punishment.

    I think there could be 2 reasons for his regression:

    1.  Simple stress over the adjustment.  He's working hard to adjust to the change in his life, and remembering to listen to his body's signals isn't a big priority for him right now.  He could also be doing it to rebel against you a little.  You might want to temporarily switch to pull-ups for a while to make all your lives a little easier.  Whether he's just stressed or he's doing it to show his frustration, backing off and letting him take ownership of the issue will help.

    2.  It could be that your H isn't as sensitive to your son's signals as you were when you were at home.  When you say "he's potty trained," you might mean "he uses the potty consistently enough to be in underwear as long as I remind him often."  Your husband may be thinking that potty trained means "he'll use the potty when he needs to."

    In answer to your question, of course it's just a phase!  He'll come around!  Just be compassionate and consistent.  Remember that he's ultimately in charge of where he makes his pee and poop. 

    Secondary English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 9th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 4th grade
  • image LHD1518:
    I had a similar problem when I went back to work. My son was having accidents and things just weren't the same, it was almost like he was mad at me for working. I had a talk with both my boys and they didn't like me working. They wanted me to pick them up from school and sit at the table doing homework before dinner and have play time after dinner. Working didn't allow all that, I literally had 3 hours after work to spend with them and have them bathed and in bed by 9. So i spoke with my husband and we decided being at home was better for all of us. I love working and having a paycheck and getting out, but my kids suffer from it because they got so used to me being there for them. They are older and can speak their minds easily (5 years and 8 years old). I hope you can figure out the problem, but something to think about.

    Wow! So the woman asks for help with her son's potty training regression in response to her decision to go back to work.  So instead of helping her, you basically tell the tale of how YOU dealt with a similar problem by returning home.  Do you have any clue how judgmental that sounds?  I guess not.

    Maybe she doesn't have that option.  Maybe for her family it's not just about the luxury of extra money, but a necessity that she works instead of her H.  Maybe she just -- gasp -- wants to work.   Maybe they just decided that what was right for their family was for her H to be the SAHD.

    I'm sure your statement that "it was nice having a paycheck and getting out but your kids suffered from it because they were so used to having you at home" made the OP feel like a million bucks.  Great advice. 

    Secondary English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 9th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 4th grade
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