Pregnant after 35

Worry wart here

I know that some amount of worry is normal... but I worry about every possible thing that could go wrong.  When I found out I was pregnant I worried about making it past 6 weeks.  When I passed 6 weeks I worried about making it to 12 weeks.  I passed 12 weeks and now I'm worried about making it to 25 weeks (minimum age that I will feel comfortable giving birth and my baby having some chance of survival).  After I pass 25 weeks I will worry about the baby making it to full term.  After the baby is full term I will worry about something going wrong during delivery or after he's born.  After that I will worry about SIDS.  I mean.... it goes on and on.  Part of me thinks.... that this is part of being a mom.... but my faith tells me that I have no control over any of this and that I have no business worrying when He (God) has it all under control.  I guess I just need to pray for more faith. 

Re: Worry wart here

  • I think it just makes you NORMAL.  I was having this exact conversation with a co-worker last week.  It seems like my brain picks these milestones (6 wks/10 wks/20 wks, etc) but I ALWAYS find something new to worry about :(

    IMO....Fear isn't evidence of a lack of faith.  Faith means you choose to continue to believe/trust EVEN when the fear exists.

  • I have you beat!!! I worry about EVERYTHING. I worry about the theoretical risks of ultrasounds, breathing in campfire smoke, being behind a car with a slight exhaust problem, whether my vegetables are washed in a restaurant, etc., etc.

    Lack of vitamin D. Not enough sunlight!!!

     Now I am FREAKING because I just realized I took too much Vitamin E for the first trimester.

     All I did was take a prenatal but my diet is FULL OF VITAMINS. Doh! Isn't that how it's supposed to be? Why do they make people who eat a healthy diet take a prenatal full of all the vitamins you are already getting from food?

    The only thing you really need in the prenatal for the first trimester is folic acid but they put all this other stuff in there. 

    So now I am worried. Too much vitamin E is linked to heart defects.

    I'm just going to take folic acid for the next few weeks until I see my doctor. The nurse practitioner told me that's all you need in the first trimester anyway. But I thought I was being cautious.

     

  • MsGibb, I think letzgoracing has it exactly right: Worry is a normal part of being a mom and it just means that you really care about your pregnancy and your baby.

    Azaleya, if you can manage to meet your Vitamin E needs from diet alone, I am very impressed. The reason so many people take Vit E supplements is that it is difficult to get enough just from food. And if it makes you feel any better, vitamins are absorbed better from food than from supplements, so your body may not be taking in as much Vit E from your prenatal as you think. I wouldn't ditch the prenatal vitamin on those grounds alone. It might not hurt to put a call in to your doctor to ask.

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    Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
  • I worried quite a bit during the first tri, but now that I'm about 21 weeks, I've pretty much stopped worrying.  When I was in a state, I kept repeating to myself that my baby is fine.  And she is.  I have had so much crap happen to me in my life, that I know I can cope with anything no matter what.  So I try not to think about things that I can't control, and try to concentrate on solutions for things that I can control.
  • Just so you know, the worry never ends.  You stop worrying the day after you are buried in the ground.

    Try not to stress too much, it's not good for you or the baby.  And while terrible things can happen and do every day, the percentage is still really small.  Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

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  • I agree with pp-- I find there's no gain to be had in worrying about what I can't control. I can only put my limited energy and resources toward what I CAN control-- diet, exercise, avoiding smoke(rs), flu shot, etc.

    This is only the beginning of worrying about these kids until the day we die. LOL

    As for the vitamin issue, don't forget, too, that most of the vitamins in the prenatals are water-soluble (only A, D, E, and K). That means that IF you take an excess of them (by eating and taking the prenatal pills), your body will use what it needs and you will pee out the rest. No harmful side effects. The fat soluble vitamins are a little trickier, but you would have to eat a LOT of spinach, peanuts, almonds, chili pepper, green olives, sunflower seeds, etc. to overdose on vitamin E. Especially if you cook any of the foods, as they lose some of their potency. The most common side effects of too much Vitamin E are anticoagulation properties-- so you bleed/hemorrhage. I'm going to go ahead and say that if you're not noticing black, tarry stools or frank red blood in your poop, and you're not bruising left and right or fainting all the time, you're most likely not taking too much vitamin E at this point.


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    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

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  • image letzgoracing81:

    I think it just makes you NORMAL.  I was having this exact conversation with a co-worker last week.  It seems like my brain picks these milestones (6 wks/10 wks/20 wks, etc) but I ALWAYS find something new to worry about :(

    IMO....Fear isn't evidence of a lack of faith.  Faith means you choose to continue to believe/trust EVEN when the fear exists.

    Good answer.  My OB had a conversation with me early on because I was so worried about everything.  He told me that is was completely normal and is preparing me for parenthood where I would continue to worry about this kid every day.

    If it makes you feel better, yesterday I ate copious amounts of sugar because I could not feel the baby move as much as normal.  I almost went to L&D for a sonogram just to be sure.  I guess she was just having a lazy day because today she is going crazy.

    BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491 image BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am so with you on this.  It took us a long time to get pregnant with #2 and I am a completely worry wart this time.  I've been doing the same as you - waiting to get to 6 weeks, 12 weeks, now I'm waiting to get to the anatomy scan.  It's really hard to get over the mental hurdle that something could go wrong and just relax.

    ((hugs)) 

     

     

    BabyFruit Ticker TTC #2 since March 2010. 2 LOSSES ... c/p - Dec 2010. Ectopic - March 2011. Me: 35; DH: 34 DX: DOR, egg quality issues ; DH - all normal FSH 10.1, Estradiol 21.8, AMH 0.49 IVF #1 (Oct/Nov 2011) (Antagonist with BCP's)- 5R, 0 eggs to transfer CD3 b/w by same RE 1/2012: FSH 6, AMH 1.4...wtf?? IVF #2 (Apr 2012) EPP/Antagonist with ICSI - 10R, 7M, 6 ICSI'd, 2F. 3DT = BFN AMH tested by new RE 6/2012 - 2! Saving money for IVF #3. Started a ton of supplements in May 2012 and hoping for a miracle! SURPRISE BFP!! (October 2012)
  • Thank you all for your kind words :)  I suppose I should really focus on the miracle of all of this!  I mean.... I am 40 years old.... I have had 3 miscarriages that didn't make it past 6 weeks (2 of them within the last 18 months) and the fact that I even GOT pregnant this time is a miracle!  The very cycle before we concieved... I had asked my OB/Gyn to do a hormone test.... not for fertility reasons but just because I wasn't feeling right... and he said my FSH level was 15!  He said that if we wanted to have another baby we'd have to seek fertility!  On top of that... I had knee surgery the day after we concieved.... so that sperm had to live and travel through anasthesia to make it to my supposedly non-exsistent or non-optimal egg!  PLUS.... isn't there like a 1% chance of getting pregnant after 40?  So.... this just goes to show... that God is in control.  The Bible says that nothing.... NOTHING.... lives or breathes or dies under heaven without His say so.... something I really had to remember quite a bit when my 2-year-old was in the NICU (born at 28 weeks) fighting for his life for 3 months. 

    Thanks everyone for helping to remind me/inspiring me to have faith and hopefully we/I've inspired some of you as well :)

    Blessings!

  • image hijoi:

    Just so you know, the worry never ends.  You stop worrying the day after you are buried in the ground.

    This. There's always something to stress about and keep you up at night, you just gotta push through the worry, get on with things and lead a happy life.
  • image stever:
    image hijoi:

    Just so you know, the worry never ends.  You stop worrying the day after you are buried in the ground.

    This. There's always something to stress about and keep you up at night, you just gotta push through the worry, get on with things and lead a happy life.

    Yes to everything these ladies said. 

    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

    DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI



    TTC#2 since Nov 2011

    BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p

    -Back to the RE-

    3 medicated IUIs, all BFN

    -Taking a break from treatment-

    BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13

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  • Worrying is normal.

    Worrying so much that it takes over your thought process, stresses you out, and/or gets in the way of you enjoying good things could be a sign of depression. Pregnancy wreaks havoc with hormones, which can wreak havoc with your brain chemistry. Depression is not your fault. It is not a lack of faith or a sign of failure. It is your brain chemistry going wacky. If you feel that your worrying is making it difficult for you to participate fully in life, or if others have noticed, or even just because it concerns you, please talk to your OB about what you are experiencing. There is help available. 

    Sometimes just admitting you feel this way to someone who cares can be a big help. 

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