That in itself is not a surprise (my mother is one of those hyper-critical people who will seriously give me anywhere between 3-5 criticisms in one phone conversation - and she wonders why I don't call her!).
We're keeping our girl's name a secret from everyone, but I did offer to tell the grandparents - I wanted my mom to get used to it (because I knew she wouldn't like it). I will say that it's a name most commonly used for a boy, but we heard it mentioned for a girl (in a TV show) and we loved it.
So I tell her and I get, "Hmm," as a response (not a shock). A few days later she calls me and says that she and my dad will probably just call the baby by her middle name (Lauryn) because they think that's so pretty and they love the spelling.
First of all, I don't think my dad said this - she's speaking for him when he's not there, so I've learned to read between the lines (she does this a lot - "Your dad doesn't think your house is clean enough," "Your dad thinks you need to change your wardrobe" - I was wearing a tank top that day with a shirt over it and my dad wasn't even home to say it). My dad is a very laid-back and easy-going guy, so whatever we choose for a name is our choice and he would respect that.
I informed her that she would not be using the middle name - we love the middle name too (she'll be named for my dad) but we don't love it enough for it to be the first name - that's WHY it's the middle name! I also told her that she has three daughters and got to name all of them - she has no choice in what her grandchild is called. That ship has sailed. This is the only daughter I will ever have and that is that.
They live about three miles away, so this is not a case of them seeing the baby every few months or on holidays.
If she persists, I'm going to bring up how ridiculous she sounds - my oldest son has my FIL's middle name, so I plan on pointing out that she would have thrown a fit if my MIL had said, "We don't like your son's first name, so we're going to call him by the middle name because we like that better." My mom is the type that thinks she is the best of the best and constantly makes everything a competition between the grandparents (my MIL would never even conceive of doing this - ironically, she is the favorite grandma of my kids and the one they always ask to go play with). If MIL had tried to call DS by his middle name, my mother would still be ranting about it nearly 10 years later - and yet, she thinks it's okay to do that with our youngest??
This is not a situation where I can threaten to cut her out of the baby's life - she is a good grandma and she is always there for me when I really need her (and my dad is the best of the best), however, I have already decided she will not be babysitting as often. Not because of this situation, but because her health has declined so much in the last three years that it's scary (she has a congenital disease that is just now showing symptoms that really affect her life). I feel fine leaving my boys with her if my dad isn't there - they are good kids and know she's not in the best health now. When DS6 was 4 and the symptoms were just starting to get worse, she sat on the floor to do a puzzle with him and could not get up off the floor. DS9 (7 at the time) was with me and not at the house, but younger DS, without being asked, went and got the phone and handed it to her to call my dad.
However, with an infant and with her getting progressively worse, I've told my husband she won't ever be keeping her when my dad isn't there (which my dad just retired, so 9 times out of 10, he's there).
The whole name thing has really pushed my buttons more than she usually does on a daily basis, so I needed to rant for a while :).