March 2013 Moms

Is anyone else having their baby shower AFTER baby arrives?

A couple girlfriends are throwing a shower for me and it's happening about a month after baby arrives (my choice).  I've been to showers before baby arrives and after and,  as a guest, I preferred after so I got to have some baby snuggles! It just seems like, after reading all of the posts here about showers that this is not the norm!  Also, I'm not registering anywhere.... people can buy a gift if they like but it's their choice.  
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Re: Is anyone else having their baby shower AFTER baby arrives?

  • It makes sense to do whatever works for you.  I'm really excited that four of my friends are flying in to attend my shower and we are making it kind of a girls' weekend, so I'd rather have them here when I'm not sleep deprived and distracted with new responsibilities!  Otherwise, I think wanting to give everyone a chance to actually meet the baby makes a lot of sense. 

    As far as not registering, I'll admit that I get a kick out receiving gifts for the baby or seeing that people have purchased things from my registry, mostly because it's fun to know that people are excited about our LO and thinking of us.  However, I hosted a shower for a friend who got ticked off and openly complained to me after the fact (she still brings it up 3+ years later) that people bought things that weren't on her registry, and I found that really offputting.  So, I think it's refreshing to hear someone say that they aren't really worried about getting x list of things.  I think sometimes we get worked up over all the cute baby stuff and forget that's not what having a baby is all about!      

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  • I think that's a cute idea, as long as you and baby are feeling up to it. Make sure you have lots of hand sanitizer available if you plan on letting everyone get some baby snuggles.

    I've only ever been to showers before the arrival of the babies. As that is what my family and I are used to, I'll be having my shower on 1/26 (when I'm 34 weeks along).

    Enjoy your "after baby" shower!

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  • Yeah, I'd say you're the exception. Which is fine if that's what you want, more power to you. Here's why I'm doing my shower beforehand:

    1. As a FTM this is all new to me! I'm looking forward to my experienced friends and family helping me get set up with the things that I need while avoiding the stupid money wasters (like wipe warmers!).
    2. I don't really like the "sip n see" approach because in the middle of cold and flu season I don't want a lot of people around LO so soon. I'd want to wait until at least 3 months, and then at that point the excitement will have worn off for everyone.
    3. I want to be fully prepared for when baby arrives.
    4. Completion discounts!
    5. For me it's all part of the exhilarating build-up to the big day. Plus, I like giving my friends and family who are further away the opportunity to actually see me when I'm glowing and pregnant. I worry that after baby comes I'll look like hot crap on a stick from all the sleepless nights and my body will be in that weird not-pregnant but bump still lingering i feel fat phase.
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  • We're having a coed Meet the Baby Party when she's around 2-3 months old.  The reason being that I only moved to NYC 6 years ago.  While I have friends here (my husband has way more), I have quite a few friends in my hometown that won't be able to attend it.   So it's not quite the same thing but we are having something after the baby gets here (there will be no mention of the registry I created for the shower).  As everyone else said, do what's best for yo.  I see nothing wrong with it.
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  • All but one of the baby showers I've been to recently have been AFTER the baby is born. I'm not sure if it's something that is the norm in my area or what, but it seems to be common practice.

    I don't know of any baby showers being planned for me but I'm guessing my colleagues will throw one for me after the baby is born. We've had 6 babies born to staff members at my school over the last 2.5 years and all of the showers have been after the baby was born (a few of the showers were combined, actually). In fact, I have another combined shower to attend next week for two babies who were born in December.

    Since I'm not due until March, I'm guessing that there will be a shower for me the following month or so. Or maybe they'll wait much longer. Another colleague's wife is due in June so maybe they'll combine ours too. No idea. I'm not concerned.

    I like going to showers after the baby is born because I enjoy the baby snuggles but I don't mind them beforehand either.

    As much as I know it's DH and my responsibility to purchase all of the baby supplies we need, I am a bit overwhelmed by it all. We have purchased very little due to tight finances at the moment. I get little twinges of envy when I read about other moms whose family is giving them a stroller or crib or whatnot. We haven't had anyone offer to do that for us. We have been very lucky to have a generous friend give us three huge bags of baby clothes though. That's been a huge help! So I think it would be really nice to be gifted a shower before our baby arrives so that I feel a bit more prepared but I'm not expecting it at all. We will make do with what we get over the next while and add as we go along.

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  • Yes, we are going to have it a month to 1.5 after the baby arrives and I honestly didn't think anyone but us would be doing something like this. This way I can avoid constant traffic of people wanting to come over to see the baby (I sound antisocial writing this, but really I don't feel up to hosting/entertaining. I am sure they don't expect to be entertained but I feel like in a way I have to host/entertain if they show up to our house...)

    Having multiple friends/family come at once and see the baby and have it be about the baby and not about getting gifts seemed appealing to my DH and myself...It's totally an unpopular decision and I fully understand it..My MIL offered to throw me a shower and I just could not see myself sitting in the middle of a room and opening gifts one after another and commenting on each one of them.

  • We were going to have the baby shower after the baby comes becasue we are team green but then SIL got pregnant (due 6 weeks after us) and BIL & SIL live in Alabama and we live in PA. My MIL wants to go there so she changed everything so now the baby shower is next Saturday. That being said my out of state family obviously won't be able to make it. However, late March is my grandpa's 80th surprise party in which my family will all be coming home for so my mom is doing a meet the baby with the family too but I am not pushing gifts at all. It will be more of a time for everyone to meet the baby, especially my brother and his family since they live in MN.

     I think that whatever works best for you is perfectly fine whether it is before or after baby. :)

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  • I would actually prefer the affter baby approach, but since I'm not throwing the shower, I didn't push the issue. Sounds like a lot of fun! I'm also not registered, so I am excited to see what people come up with!
  • I am having my shower after as well. Where I'm from this is very typical and have never been to a shower before the birth.  I am due March 21st and the shower is planned for April 6th.  It will be more of a "meet the baby" event rather than a gift giving event, although we do have a registry.  I can understand why some mammas would have their shower before but for us afterwards should work out great. 

    I am somewhat stressed because my mother (who is throwing the shower) has been pretty non-chalant about the whole thing and typically leaves things until the last minute.  I think I am in nesting mode and just want eveything organized :)  We will have 40 or so people attending and are struggling to find a place to hold all these people.  We wanted to have it casually at our home but it is just not big enough.


  • We are.

    Jewish superstition is nothing in the house for baby until baby - so we're following that (exception being the car seat that we have to install prior). 

    I have two showers in April and this way everyone can meet the matzo ball.

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  • We're not doing a baby shower, but we will do a gathering for his baptism probably late April to early May depending on how everything falls into place.

    I also registered, not for gifts, although I obviously have no objection to people buying things off of it for us.  The main reason I registered is so that I can "window shop" and remember what items I want when I'm ready to buy them. 

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  • I am having both.  My work is having a shower for me and my friends here are having a shower for me.  My family lives 5 hours away so a family shower would have to be in December since I could not travel after Christmas.  My cousin's baby died at birth (we knew that it would) in December so it seemed really inappropriate for my family to have a shower when they were dealing with that.  My sip and see is at a winery and I am paying for everything.  That takes a lot of the burdon off of my family since they can't really afford a big party.  I am not putting no gifts on the invitations but I hope that most people understand that gifts are not necessary at a sip and see.
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