Secondary IF

Beyond Devastated.

My hcg on Monday was 51.  Today it is 53. 

I left work and am just sitting here, numb.  Maybe I will never have baby #2.  I am heartbroken. 

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Pregnant with Letrazole (Femara) on the first cycle with DD after TTC 2+ years
TTC#2 with Letrazole (Femara) since January 2012
BFP 06.29.12 EDD 03.11.13 natural m/c 07.13.12
BFP 09.22.12 EDD 05.31.13 natural m/c 10.07.12
CP 11.09.12
BFP 01.01.13 EDD 09.15.13 d&c 01.24.13

BFP 03.26.13 EDD 12.04.13
 

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Re: Beyond Devastated.

  • I am so very sorry.  This happened to me just 2 months ago and it is incredibly devastating.  Please don't lose hope.  I want to believe that this can happen for all of us.  hang in there.
    Dx PCOS Three cycle of Clomid- BFN HSG- clear 6/09-Follistim and HCG IUI on 7/7/09 BFN 7/09- Follistim and Ovidrel IUI on 8/11/09 BFP! beta #1-342 beta #2-717 Joey was born on 5/5/10 Trying for #2 since 6/12 6/12- Gonal F and Ovidel IUI on 7/10. BFN 8/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel. IUI on 8/10. BFN 9/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel IUI BFN 10/22 Gonal F, Menopur, Ganirelex 11/4 trigger 11/6 ER 14R 10F 11/11 ET transferred one 4AA embryo beta 11/20! BFP Betas stop multiplying . m/c at 5 weeks moving on to FET if my numbers ever get back to 0!
  • I'm so sorry, Lauren.
    DH and I: 41; 10/10: Married; 5/11: Dx: Blocked Fallopian Tube; 7/11: D&C/Hysteroscopy to remove polyp
    IVF #1: 9/11: ER: 12R, 11M, 10F, No Frosties; 5dt: 2 blasts, 1 morula; DD born 6/3/12
    IVF #2: 11/12-12/12: ER: 20R, 20M, 16F, 4 Frosties; 5dt: 3 blasts, DS born 8/9/13
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  • I am so very sorry (( Hugs ))

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  • I'm sooooo sorry for you!!!! I was really hoping for you because you number was higher than my first that didn't work out... I had a 34 first beta and a 4 second beta... Best of luck!!!
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    TTC #2 since 2009 Have PCOS two close calls with letrozole and hcg trigger. Hoping 3rd time does the trick... Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm so so sorry.  I know how hard it is to keep having losses.  Big ((hugs)).
    TTC #1 since 6/08. Cycle #6 - BFP 12/22/08, EDD 9/3/09, DD 8/14/09 at 37w1d
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    TTC #2 since 6/11
    me=36 - low AMH, DH=38
    BFP #2 - 8/31/11, EDD 5/10/12, M/C 9/23/11
    BFP #3 - 3/4/12, EDD 11/14/12, CP 3/11/12
    BFP #4 - 5/9/12, EDD 1/19/13, CP 5/11/12
    BFP #5 - 8/22/12, EDD 5/5/13, CP 8/24/12
    IVF#1 - January 2013 - EPP/Antagonist - 7R, 3M, 2F, 3dt of 2 8-cell embies
    BFP #6 - 2/3/13, EDD 10/15/13, DS 9/18/13 at 36w1d
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  • I'm so, so sorry. :(
    two kids
    they rule.
  • I am so sorry. Huge hugs for you!

    Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
    18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
    BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10

    TTC #2 since Dec 2011
    BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12

  • I'm so sorry. Sending hugs and prayers yor way.

    After 2 losses and secondary infertility our family is now complete!


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  • I'm so sorry. I hate hearing bad news. Don't lose hope!
    TTC #3 (#1 for DH) since September 2011. DX: Unexplained infertility with possible cervical factor. May 2012 did clomid with IUI - BFN August 2012 IUI #2 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN September 2012 IUI #3 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN October 2012 IUI #4 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN November/December 2012 IVF/ICSI #1 Retrieved 12 eggs, 8 fertilized. Transferred 1 beautiful embryo and 5 made it to freeze. Got my BFP! January 2013 u/s showed empty gestational sac. FET cycle April 2013.  Transferred 2 5 day embryos.  BFP!!!!!  2 heartbeats!!!!  EDD:  12/27/13
  • I am so sorry.

    Both DDs conceived 2nd cycle, 10/08 and 08/10
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx chronic annovulation/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 -> increased doses = 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP at 10dpiui! Beta 12dpiui = 130, 14dpiui = 342, 21dpiui = 4695, Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc and baby measuring 7w4d. Done TTC indefinitely. 

     image

  • I am just sitting here shaking my head and heartbroken for you. I am so, so sorry you are going through this. I wish I could do something. Please, please do what you need to to take care of yourself. Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for healing.

    Married the love of my life 10/13/07; DS born 2/13/10
    TTC #2 since 12/11


    7 angels waiting for me, all lost before 9 weeks
    4 in 2012, 2 in 2013, 1 in 2014


    AMA (40), Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR

    Mar 2014: 1st IVF cycle w/ICSI: 7R/3M/3F/2T; BFP 3/29; chemical pregnancy, loss 4/2

    WTF appt scheduled for 4/24


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    ***All always welcome!!***

  • I'm so sorry! Big hugs for you.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    MPZ born June 2011
    TTC #2 ... Cycle 1-3: IUI = BFN | Cycle 4: IVF ... canceled but 3 snow babies
    Cycle 5: FET .. BFP! | EDD - 3/15/2014
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  • e74e74
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    I'm so sorry.  Big hugs!
    image

    TTC#2 since 4/09

    Found out in 8/2011 that FSH was 25. Only option given to us was DEIVF

    12/11 DEIVF= 12 retrieved, 6 mature, 6 embryos, stopped growing on day 3

    DEIVF#2= 16 retrieved, 10 mature, 10 embryos, 6 stopped growing, 2 transferred, 2 frozen =BFN :(


    FET#1- neither thawed-- bfn

    FET#2- 7/27/12 with donor embryos. Beta 8/7 BFN

    FET #3--9/28/12 with donor embryos. Beta 10/9 BFN

    DEIVF#3- jan 2013
  • Lauren, how in the world.  I am heartbroken for you too.  What does our RE say??? This can't be common? I just don't understand this. I wanted a miracle for you...you have been through enough, damn it!
    TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
    BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
    3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
    TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
    BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP EDD 1-13
    Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
    Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
    Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
    Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
    Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
    Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie 
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  • image jeannaqueena:
    Lauren, how in the world.  I am heartbroken for you too.  What does our RE say??? This can't be common? I just don't understand this. I wanted a miracle for you...you have been through enough, damn it!

    Thanks everyone. 

    Jeanna, I have to go back on Friday for another blood test. 

     I of course have been googling which is a bad thing.  I think I am in denial.  I read something about a vanishing twin.  I had two great mature follicles and one close.  This morning I was nervous because my line was lighter than all of the others.  I know people say, a line is a line.  In my case since I have been through this so many times, I do know my body.  I know that the darkness of the line does matter.  I decided to use a wondfo through the afternoon and into this evening.  My lines are now getting darker.  I am so confused.  I am going to stop the progesterone suppositories per the doctors orders.  I hope this is not a mistake. 

    If and when I do miscarry since I really know it is inevitable even with my little gleam of hope, I will demand some sort of testing. I have an appointment with my RE Tuesday to discuss. (Jeanna, Dr. Park)

    Maybe I have scar tissue from my c-section.  All of my tests have always come back normal and my diagnosis is unexplained infertility.  My egg quality is perfect.  DH hasn't has his sperm tested in almost 2 years so we may check that again.   

    I left work early, picked up DD and took her to the park.  I just needed to be with her.  She is now sleeping and I wish I could go in her room, pick her up out of her crib and hold her all night. 

    I appreciate everyones support. 

    image


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Pregnant with Letrazole (Femara) on the first cycle with DD after TTC 2+ years
    TTC#2 with Letrazole (Femara) since January 2012
    BFP 06.29.12 EDD 03.11.13 natural m/c 07.13.12
    BFP 09.22.12 EDD 05.31.13 natural m/c 10.07.12
    CP 11.09.12
    BFP 01.01.13 EDD 09.15.13 d&c 01.24.13

    BFP 03.26.13 EDD 12.04.13
     

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Oh no :( I am so sorry...
    photo 203b9128-895f-464c-a378-ff73eaf8c1ce_zps4de57ab1.jpg
    Xander, Hayden & Lily 5 1/2 and Jericho 3 My Blog!
  • I'm so sorry :(

    The Mob Boss 
    Birth: 10lbs 11oz, 21.5 inches <> 1 mo: 14lbs 7oz, 23.5 inches
    2mo: 18lbs 15oz, 25.5 inches <> 4mo: 26lbs 8oz, 27.5 inches6mo: 29lbs 8oz, 30 inches <> 9mo: 32lbs, 32 inches12 mo: 37lbs, 34.5 inches <> 15 mo: 38lbs 6 oz, 36 inches. 20.5 inch noggin18 mo: 43lbs, 37.75 inches 21 inch head2yr: 47 lbs, 42 inches. 21.5 inch head. Woah.  

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    imageimage
  • image Lauren79:

    image jeannaqueena:
    Lauren, how in the world.  I am heartbroken for you too.  What does our RE say??? This can't be common? I just don't understand this. I wanted a miracle for you...you have been through enough, damn it!

    Thanks everyone. 

    Jeanna, I have to go back on Friday for another blood test. 

     I of course have been googling which is a bad thing.  I think I am in denial.  I read something about a vanishing twin.  I had two great mature follicles and one close.  This morning I was nervous because my line was lighter than all of the others.  I know people say, a line is a line.  In my case since I have been through this so many times, I do know my body.  I know that the darkness of the line does matter.  I decided to use a wondfo through the afternoon and into this evening.  My lines are now getting darker.  I am so confused.  I am going to stop the progesterone suppositories per the doctors orders.  I hope this is not a mistake. 

    If and when I do miscarry since I really know it is inevitable even with my little gleam of hope, I will demand some sort of testing. I have an appointment with my RE Tuesday to discuss. (Jeanna, Dr. Park)

    Maybe I have scar tissue from my c-section.  All of my tests have always come back normal and my diagnosis is unexplained infertility.  My egg quality is perfect.  DH hasn't has his sperm tested in almost 2 years so we may check that again.   

    I left work early, picked up DD and took her to the park.  I just needed to be with her.  She is now sleeping and I wish I could go in her room, pick her up out of her crib and hold her all night. 

    I appreciate everyones support. 

    i hope there is some testing they can do and Dr. P has some thoughts.  It is so unfair that you have gotten pg so many times and yet this keeps happening.  I do want to post a story.  I have been following a blog and her betas were going up, then dropped then started to rise and double.  Her RE said it must have been a vanishing twin as you stated. I wish they could look in there and could see what is happening. Lots of prayers for you.  I have an apt coming up next week would love to try and do the play date we have talked about forever if you are still interested.   

    TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
    BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
    3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
    TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
    BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP EDD 1-13
    Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
    Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
    Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
    Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
    Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
    Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I am so sorry! It breaks my heart! Hugs!
    Carly

    First month TTCing #2 7/12

    My DX: Lupus, PCOS, LPD and LP/DH's DX: LM
    m/c 10/04, m/c 7/05
    Pregnant with DD, after 3 rounds of Clomid, 8/06, loss of her twin 11/06
    m/c 1/09, mc 2/13, c/p 5/13
    1st round of Clomid this time (50 mg) 10/13- BFN
    2nd round of Clomid (100 mg) 11/13- BFN
    Cycle #18: 12/13- Break from meds for yet another HSG for me and yet another SA for DH. We're on our own this month! 

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    Potato Launcher


  • xoxo so very sorry...
    Right Oopherectomy w/tubal ligation 11.15.2007
    BFP #1 03.30.2008, Born 12.08.2008
    TTC #2 Since 11.2010
    DX: IRPCOS with Fair Motility on SA
    Cycle #22 - RE Round #1 - 100MG Clomid - BFN
    Cycle #23 - RE Round #2 - 150MG Clomid/Pregnyl Trig - BFN
    Cycle #24 - RE Round #3 - 150MG Clomid/Ovidrel Trig/IUI/Crinone - BFN
    Cycle #25 - RE Round #4 - 2.5MG Letrozole/Ovidrel Trig/Crinone
  • image jeannaqueena:
    image Lauren79:

    image jeannaqueena:
    Lauren, how in the world.  I am heartbroken for you too.  What does our RE say??? This can't be common? I just don't understand this. I wanted a miracle for you...you have been through enough, damn it!

    Thanks everyone. 

    Jeanna, I have to go back on Friday for another blood test. 

     I of course have been googling which is a bad thing.  I think I am in denial.  I read something about a vanishing twin.  I had two great mature follicles and one close.  This morning I was nervous because my line was lighter than all of the others.  I know people say, a line is a line.  In my case since I have been through this so many times, I do know my body.  I know that the darkness of the line does matter.  I decided to use a wondfo through the afternoon and into this evening.  My lines are now getting darker.  I am so confused.  I am going to stop the progesterone suppositories per the doctors orders.  I hope this is not a mistake. 

    If and when I do miscarry since I really know it is inevitable even with my little gleam of hope, I will demand some sort of testing. I have an appointment with my RE Tuesday to discuss. (Jeanna, Dr. Park)

    Maybe I have scar tissue from my c-section.  All of my tests have always come back normal and my diagnosis is unexplained infertility.  My egg quality is perfect.  DH hasn't has his sperm tested in almost 2 years so we may check that again.   

    I left work early, picked up DD and took her to the park.  I just needed to be with her.  She is now sleeping and I wish I could go in her room, pick her up out of her crib and hold her all night. 

    I appreciate everyones support. 

    i hope there is some testing they can do and Dr. P has some thoughts.  It is so unfair that you have gotten pg so many times and yet this keeps happening.  I do want to post a story.  I have been following a blog and her betas were going up, then dropped then started to rise and double.  Her RE said it must have been a vanishing twin as you stated. I wish they could look in there and could see what is happening. Lots of prayers for you.  I have an apt coming up next week would love to try and do the play date we have talked about forever if you are still interested.   

     

    What day is your appt?

    image


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    Pregnant with Letrazole (Femara) on the first cycle with DD after TTC 2+ years
    TTC#2 with Letrazole (Femara) since January 2012
    BFP 06.29.12 EDD 03.11.13 natural m/c 07.13.12
    BFP 09.22.12 EDD 05.31.13 natural m/c 10.07.12
    CP 11.09.12
    BFP 01.01.13 EDD 09.15.13 d&c 01.24.13

    BFP 03.26.13 EDD 12.04.13
     

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