June 2013 Moms

Newbie- Anyone else have trouble voicing an opinion?

I'm new to the bump... and to soon-to-be mommyhood. However I'm an aunt to four amazing kids (2 girls, 2 boys) with plenty of little cousins, and I worked three years in daycare through high school/college.

Does anyone else new to posting find it hard to share an opinion? I want to join in to discussions, but so far my first attempt has got me attacked and maybe it's the hormones, or the fact that I've been spending the majority of the last 10 (of 16) weeks on my bathroom floor... but I'm really upset because this seems to be the most active board online/on this site where I fit (locality and timing of pregnancy). 

Thoughts, recommendations? Or is this just typical and don't voice an opinion contrary to the basic thread question?

imageimage
Our lil' diva: late like her Momma: 40 weeks 5 days!
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Re: Newbie- Anyone else have trouble voicing an opinion?

  • It's fine to voice opinions, but you have to be ready for differing opinions, and you have to be careful how you phrase your opinions if you are sensitive to judgement. This is an anonymous forum (full of hormonal pregnant women. :), and people are bound to be a bit catty.

    That said, I think for the most part we do a good job of being respectful to people who are respectful to us. Saying something like "breastfeeding in public is gross" is far different than saying "Personally, I'm uncomfortable with public breastfeeding, but I understand people have differing opinions and my opinion isn't the end all be all." 

    I would say that if you're willing to join the discussion civilly and thoughtfully (and can let sarcasm bounce off of you when needed) that you should stay. Just put a lot of thought into your opinions before voicing them, because in forums like these, you will be asked to defend your position if someone disagrees.

     

    Baby Llama was born June 19, 2013. 

    image


  • I felt the same way when I first came on here. But (IMO) I'd definitely prefer to voice my opinion on matters, even if they are against the flow. You don't know who might be reading. I like to go on the extreme and imagine some 13 year old who is pregnant who has no support or close friends to lean on. (I'm know, a little bit much). But any of these posts pull up on searches, so I'd rather they get all options instead of what's popular for the people that happen to be on at the same time.

    I wish more people would do so actually. 

    Of course there is always the ones who like to post their opinion, get on others about having a different opinion and then in the end don't even have any sources or valid information to back their opinion up.  Don't do that lol

    Just remember it's only "online people". Even if your opinion is the only "right" opinion, you'll always always always get someone to disagree.

    Me and Zech



  • You can always voice your opinion but don't take it personal if everyone doesn't agree with you.  I don't think anyone is meaning to attack anyone, but we are all hormonal and opinionated.  

    I have never felt attacked but I have had people not agree with me and that is okay.   

    Riley 12/24/08 Pregnancy Ticker
  • The people who "attacked" you responded to comments they (and I) found to be offensive. It's the Internet. You can toughen up or you can be more sensitive about offending other people with judgmental and ignorant comments. I don't really know what else to tell you. I'm sure you'll find someone who agrees that children shouldn't see women Breastfeeding their children or that breastfeeding is somehow sexual or immodest but I can tell you that on the Internet and in real life I think that's an absurdly ignorant thing to say and I'd be happy to say the same thing to you at Starbucks as I do online. 
    Please forgive my typos! I'm not as dumb as my iphone would like you to believe :)
    The Maiden Metallurgist
    Curious about babywearing? Check out my friend Meredith's Babyweraring Guide Untitled BabyFruit Ticker
  • I don't know what you had posted before, so I can't comment on being attacked, but I have noticed some boards on the bump seem to be friendlier than others. I think that this one seems to be one of the friendlier boards for sure. I hope that things improve :)
    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!


  • Your opinion is just that, it is yours. Everyone has their own, and here there get to be heated discussions about topics. The differing opinions is what helps to make this board interesting, thought provoking, and enjoyable. 

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  • MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.
    dx MF & FF IF
    Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
    IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
    Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
    Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
    Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
    Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13

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  • Welcome :), and I am sorry for your experience. I think it happens to us all at least once. My first time of any signifigance was today as a matter of fact, so we are now in the same club :).

    In general I would say that the June board is very supportive. However there are times when folks seem to feel the need to flame others. When it is bad, sometimes comments are taken out of context and it becomes a snow ball affect. I like to think that happens the minority of the time however.

    It is important to remember that we are all flawed, broken and human (and pregnant with lots of stuff going on physically, emotionally, and environmentally). So, remembering that makes it easier for me to give people grace, even when being flamed by them :). It also makes it easier to give myself grace if I do speak out of turn ... which we all do from time to time.

    I want to encourage you to stick it out. I have loved the posts that I have seen from you so far. I think you are an asset to the board.  So, stay and be loved (By me at least, and many others I am sure :) ).

     Be encouraged!

    Also, check your inbox in a minute.

    God's Promises are Good and True! Follow Me on Pinterest BabyFruit Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers Follow Me on Pinterest
  • image Alliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    is my MUDar broken? This is like the third time in the last week I fell for it :(

     

    Please forgive my typos! I'm not as dumb as my iphone would like you to believe :)
    The Maiden Metallurgist
    Curious about babywearing? Check out my friend Meredith's Babyweraring Guide Untitled BabyFruit Ticker
  • image Alliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.


    image

  • image GraceInCA:

    image Alliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    photo AlbumsWideColorBump_zps1797df63.jpg

    We lost our first (EDD 07/23/12) after finding out at 12 weeks there was no longer a heartbeat. Our rainbow was born 05/22/13 and was worth all we went through.

    “So can you understand? Why I want a daughter while I’m still young? I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty before all this damage is done. But if it’s too much to ask, it’s too much to ask … Then send me a son.” – Arcade Fire
  • image KacyChicago:
    image GraceInCA:

    image Alliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    God's Promises are Good and True! Follow Me on Pinterest BabyFruit Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers Follow Me on Pinterest
  • image HisPromisIsTrue:
    image KacyChicago:
    image GraceInCA:

    image Alliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    Yes

    If it was MUD there'd be more...Drama

    ETA: I looked back and saw the post about making a new screen name so she didn't get flamed on her other one....so now I'm just confused. If you, Riss, Knew that you'd be flamed....why are you asking why you are being flamed? Which...you didn't. That convo about BFing is MUCH calmer than ones in the past.

    Me and Zech



  • I felt the same way... Some women are very opinionated and can "flame" someone for having a difference of opinion. Just take it for what it's worth and ask yourself, "do these bishes opinions really matter to me?"  Definitely keep coming back, just know what you're dealing with. And by the way.... There are some AWESOME ladies on this board. Very supportive and nice.

    TTC: 07/2012 - BFP: 9/30/12 - EDD: 6/9/13

    Radley Quinn was fashionably late via induction on 6/17/13

     

  • When will people realize that when you post a question you are going to get many different opinions? However differing opinions does not always equal flaming. People need to get thicker skin or stay off public message boards.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • It's okay to voice your opinion. Try not to feel attacked when someone else differs or challenges what you say. Honestly, I feel like the June 2013 Moms are the best when it comes to answering questions and even if they differ in opinion, I don't feel attacked. However, I cannot say that for other places within the bump. On the 1st TRI, 2nd TRI and baby shower boards, it seems that people are constantly attacking the poor poster. I feel like even if you disagree with me, we will never meet and so I have to try and not let it get the best of me. Easier said than done with the hormones being the way they are during pregnancy.Sometimes I feel like maybe the mean poster is having a bad day with their horomones LOL. Keep trying and as hard as is it, try not to let it get the best of you. Good Luck!!
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  • image HisPromisIsTrue:
    image KacyChicago:
    image GraceInCA:

    image Alliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a&nbsp;month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes&nbsp; What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them. &nbsp;

    &nbsp;Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.


    Are you replying to your own posts? Who got flamed?
    dx MF & FF IF
    Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
    IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
    Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
    Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
    Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
    Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • image HisPromisIsTrue:
    image KacyChicago:
    image GraceInCA:

    image Alliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    Your analysis doesn't make sense to me. Her very first post ever wasn't an introduction, it wasn't on a tri board, it was in a controversial thread in a month board, almost halfway through that month board's pregnancy. If that doesn't scream out "MUD!" I don't know what does.


    image

  • image GraceInCA:
    image HisPromisIsTrue:
    image KacyChicago:
    image GraceInCA:

    image Alliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a&nbsp;month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes&nbsp; What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them. &nbsp;

    &nbsp;Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    Your analysis doesn't make sense to me. Her very first post ever wasn't an introduction, it wasn't on a tri board, it was in a controversial thread in a month board, almost halfway through that month board's pregnancy. If that doesn't scream out "MUD!" I don't know what does.


    Yes
    dx MF & FF IF
    Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
    IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
    Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
    Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
    Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
    Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • Honestly, considering you compared a breastfeeding woman with a COW, you got off pretty easy.
    image
    image
  • image zigspective:
    Honestly, considering you compared a breastfeeding woman with a COW, you got off pretty easy.

    This !!!

     

  • I compared a single breastfeeding specific woman with a cow, yes, which was based on the position in which she chose to nurse on a street corner in the middle of the city, in broad daylight. However I also would compare a single specific person who never showers with a garbage heap.

    My problem is not with being disagreed with, it's being credited with saying something I never did, and mocked and blasted for having a differing opinion. I posted this to see if there were others that felt this way about posting beyond what I had experienced.

    Whether you think I'm MUD (whatever that means) or not, is not the issue. And maybe, if you read the entire post, you'd see that I agree with BFing wherever/whenever. I disagree with those types of people who will make themselves the center of attention and then be bothered when others may be uncomfortable with it or prefer not to see it in public.

    I also disagree with people who get on the internet solely to bash others opinions that are different from their own, without actually reading what the person wrote fully. It's very middle school and while we may all be extra hormonal, take a breath, reread the original post, and your response before you hit send just to bash someone else. Golden Rule and all that good stuff.

    imageimage
    Our lil' diva: late like her Momma: 40 weeks 5 days!
  • image Alliebooberz:
    image GraceInCA:
    image HisPromisIsTrue:
    image KacyChicago:
    image GraceInCA:

    image Alliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    Your analysis doesn't make sense to me. Her very first post ever wasn't an introduction, it wasn't on a tri board, it was in a controversial thread in a month board, almost halfway through that month board's pregnancy. If that doesn't scream out "MUD!" I don't know what does.

    Yes

    I am sorry, I don't follow the logic that because her first post wasn't an introduction that everything else is MUD 

    God's Promises are Good and True! Follow Me on Pinterest BabyFruit Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers Follow Me on Pinterest
  • image RissNRuss:

    I compared a single breastfeeding specific woman with a cow, yes, which was based on the position in which she chose to nurse on a street corner in the middle of the city, in broad daylight.

    I promise it's not only my hormones that think you are incredibly ignorant. 

    Please forgive my typos! I'm not as dumb as my iphone would like you to believe :)
    The Maiden Metallurgist
    Curious about babywearing? Check out my friend Meredith's Babyweraring Guide Untitled BabyFruit Ticker
  • Hang in there.  :D  I would suggest that you brush off/ignore any of the negative posters.

    image
  • image HisPromisIsTrue:
    I am sorry, I don't follow the logic that because her first post wasn't an introduction that everything else is MUD 

    There's no other conclusion to draw.

    So you're pregnant. Or you're interested in getting pregnant. You stumble across The Bump (after a Google search, or after after having been on The Knot or The Nest, etc.), and you register. The first post you make, ever, is nearly halfway through your pregnancy, on a month board where you've never before posted or made an in introduction, in a controversial thread. Then, you go on to post only a few more times on that same day, and follow up by starting a thread that is sure to invite more controversy. You've never introduced yourself, you haven't participated in any other topics, and bang, right off the bat, you're up to your knees in controversy on a month board.

    Who does that?

    I can't understand how any reasonable person sees that and thinks, "Sure, yeah, that could really happen." This was very obviously an AE made for MUD.


    image

  • image RissNRuss:

    I compared a single breastfeeding specific woman with a cow, yes, which was based on the position in which she chose to nurse on a street corner in the middle of the city, in broad daylight. However I also would compare a single specific person who never showers with a garbage heap. 

    She chose to feed her baby on a street corner in daytime...oh my!  

    As far as Im concerned a hungry baby is a hungry baby, you cannot choose when/where your baby is hungry.  Would you prefer she not feed her child?  

     I plan on BF my baby whenever and wherever is required.  Most babies don't like the cover, so you may one day be in that same position as that woman.  You should think about it before comparing this woman to a cow.

  • image Mrsveinotte:
    image RissNRuss:

    I compared a single breastfeeding specific woman with a cow, yes, which was based on the position in which she chose to nurse on a street corner in the middle of the city, in broad daylight. However I also would compare a single specific person who never showers with a garbage heap. 

    She chose to feed her baby on a street corner in daytime...oh my!  

    As far as Im concerned a hungry baby is a hungry baby, you cannot choose when/where your baby is hungry.  Would you prefer she not feed her child?  

     I plan on BF my baby whenever and wherever is required.  Most babies don't like the cover, so you may one day be in that same position as that woman.  You should think about it before comparing this woman to a cow.

     

    Actually I would take my toddler child OUT of the stroller and use the bench two feet from her  and nurse right there. Read the original post, she had removed her top, and was leaning over the toddler in the sidewalk ramp. Cow reference: **THIS IS SPAM** hanging, take a sip.

    imageimage
    Our lil' diva: late like her Momma: 40 weeks 5 days!
  • image RissNRuss:
    image Mrsveinotte:
    image RissNRuss:

    I compared a single breastfeeding specific woman with a cow, yes, which was based on the position in which she chose to nurse on a street corner in the middle of the city, in broad daylight. However I also would compare a single specific person who never showers with a garbage heap. 

    She chose to feed her baby on a street corner in daytime...oh my!  

    As far as Im concerned a hungry baby is a hungry baby, you cannot choose when/where your baby is hungry.  Would you prefer she not feed her child?  

     I plan on BF my baby whenever and wherever is required.  Most babies don't like the cover, so you may one day be in that same position as that woman.  You should think about it before comparing this woman to a cow.

     

    Actually I would take my toddler child OUT of the stroller and use the bench two feet from her  and nurse right there. Read the original post, she had removed her top, and was leaning over the toddler in the sidewalk ramp. Cow reference: **THIS IS SPAM** hanging, take a sip.

    ... You win the judgey award today. I crown you Judgey McJudgeyPants. Congratulations!  

    Baby Llama was born June 19, 2013. 

    image


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