1st Trimester

Am I being over sensitive?

Hi Everyone, just wanted to touch based with an update. Had our 9 week US and the twins are right on schedule with a heart rate of 182 for both. I'm nervous still after a MC in the past, which I'm sure is completely normal! I'm now a little over 10 weeks and here is my problem...my husband and I have not told anyone except my parents, he told his mother a couple of days ago. That was fine...but as of last night he started spreading the news. I am upset because we are not past our first trimester and if something goes wrong now everyone will know. Am I just over reacting?

Re: Am I being over sensitive?

  • I personally feel like he should have discussed it with you first before sharing the news. Im sure I would feel the same way.
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  • Congrats on two heartbeats! How exciting!

    If you aren't comfortable with him telling people then you need to talk to him about it directly. Asking us is fine, but we aren't the ones spreading the news that makes you worried you will have to untell if (and I hope you never experience loss. Ever).

    Talk to your husband. I don't think you are being overly sensitive about it. Some women/couples/people are very careful about when to tell. There is no shame in that. Truthfully though, there is no "safe" time until the baby is in your arms. So its a personal decision about when you feel comfortable. Were you going to wait another two weeks? 

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  • Meh. He's excited. That's a good thing. I'd remind him that you weren't down with sharing the news quite yet and that if anything happens he gets to tell people. 
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  • Tiffany, thank you that's exactly what I said. Apparently since one family member was home my husband didn't want to tell him in a few weeks. As he said "it wasn't something he should hear over the phone..." I don't think he realized the added stress he has put on me. I'm nervous enough waiting two weeks between appointments to know they are okay.
  • You need to tell him that it's bothering you, but I wouldn't have a big ol fight over it. If, God forbid, something happens, it will be nice to have the support of the people who know.
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  • Thank you for your replies. We were not going to share aside from our parents for a few more weeks. I do agree I'll never feel comfortable until I'm holding them. But I think I'd breath a little easier once in the second trimester and I can feel them move.
  • My husband started spreading the news earlier than I was comfortable with. It mostly ended up happening because I've been so tired and sick, that he keeps going to events without me, and he's a terrible liar, so he ended up just telling when people asked where I was. He's also really excited. :)

    I totally understand your trepidation - I have the same fears. Talk to him.

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  • image magdalina.h:
    If, God forbid, something happens, it will be nice to have the support of the people who know.

    This is my thoughts as well.

    DS born 1-24-2010, DD born 7-8-2011, DS2 born 9-5-2013

  • It would be nice God forbid if something happens. However, the people he has told are not shoulders I want to lean on. To be honest they would really care less. That's part of the reason I am so frustrated. Parents were a good place to stop with the info. At any rate I spoke to my husband and told him I wasn't happy he spread the news without me for starters and secondly before we were out of the first trimester. Guess there isn't much I can do about it now anyway. Just keep plugging along waiting for our next US.
  • I would talk to him about it and tell him how it makes you feel.  It is something you are both going through together and should share the news when you are both comfortable.  My husband had a few drinks with his best friend the other night and spilled the beans.  I'm upset about it because I wanted to tell everyone together when we were both ready.  Not entirely the same thing but I know how uncomfortable it makes me feel knowing he knows and he could tell others accidentally and what you must be going through.  I wanted to go to the first dr's appointment at least.  Oh well.
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