Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Finally some news

Well we finally got a confirmation that I did mc. That was the hardest two weeks of my life. We went to the MD this am and HCG levels confirmed it. They were 2.9. My dr was asking all the routine questions have I still been bleeding, any cramping etc. Then he asked had we had sex and when I said yes the look on his face made me feel like I was back in school in the prinicpals office... He was like you should have waited until you were on some sort of BC.. You need to wait 3-6 months to get pregnant again...  You need time to heal.. I guess because of all the research that I have done I just assumed that he would say we could get pregnant again right away. I was very disappointed when I heard this. I was only 5 weeks when I mc and I bleed for only 2 days.. I guess that I am just not understanding what exactly needs to heal... There was no pain or anything during or after sex. Did anyone else have sex soon after a mc? Did anyone conceive soon after mc? I just want to be pregnant again ASAP.. Anyone else with similar stories.. Sorry if anyone thinks this is stupid.

Re: Finally some news

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Our doctor told us to wait at least one cycle after our D&C before TTC again.   I'm still waiting for my follow-up appointment next week, and hoping we get the all-clear.    

    From being on here, it seems like different doctors give very different advice about how long to wait.  Some ladies' doctors say they can try right away after a CP or  early m/c, some say to wait a cycle or two, and others say 3-6 months like yours did.

    In your case, I would definitely ask the doctor WHY you need to wait that long.  If you are emotionally ready, and testing confirms your HCG levels have returned to normal,and your cycles return to normal, then maybe they will clear you to start sooner.  But this is a decision for you to make with your doctor -- not being a doctor I don't feel comfortable telling you that it's okay after the doctor has said to wait.  But there's nothing wrong with asking your doctor the question!!!!

     

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  • Waiting might also have had to do with the risk of infection as well.

    Like pp said I would definitely question why he wants you to wait so long. I'm clearly not a medical professional but 3 to 6 sounds like a long time to wait after a first trimester loss with no complications. I am not trying to downplay your loss AT all, I know emotionally this has likely been very hard on you.

    Are there other doctors in the practice? With my first loss I was told 2 different answers and now with my second loss I was given a different answer yet again. It's really irritating.

    If waiting that long is purely for emotional reasons I would talk to your doc again. Only you will know when you're ready.

    And answer your other question I got pregnant with DD in December after an August loss. I know ladies who got knocked up the next cycle and went in to have healthy pregnancies. Unfortunately it's one of those things where you'll never really know.
    bumping from my phone. please pardon any typos and missing punctuation
  • I was so shocked when he told me how long that all questions I had just left me. Has any of y'all's doctors like explained to you what needed to heal if you didn't have any complications with mc and didn't have to have a dc?? It is a mind boggling thing to me..
  • I'm sure I'll get a better answer at my next visit, but my doctor said, "I don't want you to wait too long, because of your age." So, besides waiting for my HCG to fall, and waiting for my cycles to regulate, she did not give us a set amount of time before we start TTC again.

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    Me: 37--Thyroid Cancer survivor. H:38. DS born 6/22/2011; BFP#2--11/5/12--Missed miscarriage discovered 12/21/2012.  BFP#3--5/20/14--another MMC 6/16/14.
  • I am so sorry for your loss.

    Like the others have said though, waiting 3-6 months seems a bit long, I would ask him why he thinks you need that long. Mine told me no sex (or anything in the vagina) for several weeks to heal and prevent infection, and afterwards to use condoms until I'd had my first full cycle before trying but mostly it was because she said it could make dating the pregnancy "difficult" because they won't really have an LMP date to go by. So I got the impression it was purely for convenience sakes after the initial healing period. On the other hand, I didn't have a d&c this time around so maybe that's why. (Last year after my d&c I wasn't allowed to ttc for a long time because of a different condition, so I can't say what she would have told me then).

    imageimage
    BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
    BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014

    Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
  • I? m sorry for your loss. My Dr. told me to wait 1 cycle before TTC again. I found out at 9 weeks that my baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. I had my D&C last week and have my checkup appointment tomorrow so I hope she still says the same thing.

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm in that "holding zone" right now too. My doc said 2 regular cycles. She said that last time too, though, and I didn't have a period for a year.

    We somehow got pregnant but miscarried again and had a D&C 3 weeks ago.

    Maybe you could call yoru doc and ask the questions? I'm the same way, I forget to ask things because there is so much emotion and information during those appointments. 3-6 months seems like quite a long time. So was that a 2nd mc then? Are you going to see a fertility doc?

    Hope you heal soon. I'm so sorry you are in this position.

     


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  • I am so sorry for your loss. I agree that different doctors say different things. I miscarried naturally and my doctor had me come in for a blood draw once a week. She told me not to have unprotected sex until after my betas were below 5 (which for me was about two weeks after I started bleeding). I agree I would call and ask why he wants you to wait so long.

    As for stories, one of my girlfriends had an early mc at 5 weeks just before Thanksgiving. Her betas came back at 1 after two days of bleeding. She got pregnant again the next cycle and so far all of her numbers look great. I hope that gives you some hope.

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  • I am so sorry for your loss.

    To answer the question why doctors say to wait.........the doctor i saw this week which was not my normal because she was in a delivery told me to wait 2 to 3 months or cycles so that the walls of my uterus can be cushioned again with what she called my monthly bleeding. She said I can get pregnant sooner but have a higher risk for miscarriage if I do not wait. I plan on waiting 2 cycles so that I can track when I am ovulating again. 3 seems like an eternity!
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  • So sorry for your loss. We were told to wait 4 weeks to have sex but the my follow up after my d&c is not for 6 weeks. We are going to wait after the 6 week appt to see when we can try again. It seems forever away. 

    "It's, not, where you are, it's where you're going,
    And it's, not, about the things you've done, it's what you're doing, now"

    TTC Journey Began 8/12
    BFP #1 11/9/12, MMC/D&C 12/21/12 @ 9w2d, EDD 7/24/13
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