Multiples

Delivery Timing = I'll Be the Only Caretaker

First, let me acknowledge how glad I am to have made it this far with my boys staying put with no complications... but, this now presents a new issue for me.

We thought more than likely they would be here by now, even my MFM told me more than half would have delivered.  With that said, DH worked with his manager and decreased his workload for the past 2 weeks and this coming week in order to be able to take time off at will during those 3 weeks which resulted in him having to schedule all important work meetings/appointments for the week of Jan. 7th, which is also the same week my mom goes back to work since she is a teacher, which is also the same week my dad leaves for a 2 week business trip, which is also the same week by brother goes back to college after his holiday break between semesters...

There literally will be no one to help me and I'm starting to freak out about doing it alone from the start.  DH won't have flexibility to take time off until the week of Jan. 21st but he might be able to get away with only going in for ~ 6 hours compared to 9+ that is his normal.

Has anyone done it mostly alone from the start?  I know DH will be here in the evenings but I just wasn't mentally preparing for being alone with them for a good chunk of the day from the start.  Also, if I end up having a C-section I really don't know how I'm going to do it.

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Re: Delivery Timing = I'll Be the Only Caretaker

  • You can do it alone if you have to, but it will be hard, and it will slow down your recovery. I know there are people on here who have done it alone from the start and I commend them, but personally I would seriously consider and start researching getting a postpartum doula or mother's helper for at least the first three weeks. And your husband needs to plan on doing a LOT of the night care so that you can get some real sleep at night. Do you have any friends who could come over and help? Any other relative on either side you could fly in for a week or two? Retired aunt? 

    Good luck! You and the babies will be fine. But do think creatively about who you can get to help out. 

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  • I would say hire a night nurse for a few days a week or a mothers helper. I think you are going to need it.
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  • I didnt deliver until 40w0d.  I was induced on a Sunday night so DH took that week off.  Well I didn't deliver until Wed afternoon and we went home Thursday night.  So DH was home with me Fri/Sat/Sun and then went back to work.  It was hard but you just do it. My DH works a second job 2 days a week so on those days he is gone from 6:45 am-5 pm and then again from 8pm-1am. 

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    We welcomed our girls on 11.7.12 @ 40w0d!
    Emerson Lily 6 lbs 13 oz & Ellis Willow 6 lbs 9 oz

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  • I agree with the "get creative" with help idea. My husband had to go back to work and finish out the school year for the 3 weeks right after the girls were born. I had an army of people in and out of my house to help. Grandmothers, MIL, neighbors, mom, dad, sister... We made a calendar of who would come on which day to get me through. Even though my grandmothers weren't as up on the baby care part of things, they did stuff like make me food and wash my laundry so I had clothes to wear. Every little bit of help makes a difference!
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  • My guys were in  the NICU for 17 days- so I was  recovered from my c-section(except still having issues with my BP), but I did it all on my own.  My family lives 2 hours away and DH's live 800 miles.  We brought them home at 7 pm and at 5 am the next  morning when DH left for work I was on my own- I also did ALL the night feedings.

    It is totally doable, you just have to rest whenever you can, don't worry about your house (I cleaned when I felt like it- which was not often), and make meals quick and easy.

    After 5 years of hopes, dreams, and Dr. visits; IVF brought us our family

  • You can stay in the hospital a few extra days. I delivered tues @ 2&3 am and went home fri morning (had hellp & needed bloodwork). You can definitely stay at least 48 hrs after a vaginal delivery & 96 hrs after a c section. But, hiring someone to help you is also a great idea!
    Wedding Fall 2007 Off OCP's since 9/08-started with BBT charts Saw Ob/gyn May 2009 Blood work normal except single copy of MTHFR Clomid 50mg May 2009 Clomid 50mg + IUI June 2009 Femara 5mg + IUI July 2009 Normal HSG July 2009 Femara 5mg + ovidrel+IUI August 2009 Femara 5mg +ovidrel + IUI September 2009 November 2009-normal lap December 2009-met with RE December/January-Injectible med cycle with IUI-Abnormal sperm morpology found-only 0-1% normal All Head defects. Jan/Feb 2010 1st IVF with ICSI-5 week chemical pregnancy :( Feb 2010-male infertility doc says DH's anatomy and blood work are normal so nothing he can do. :( FET July 2010-BFP! Twin m/c @ 5.5 wks :( Dec/Jan 2011 IVF #2 Only 4 eggs retrieved-Ganirelix dose messed up BFFN Feb/March 2011 IVF #3 ER 3/9 9 eggs, 7 fertilized, ET 3/14, No frosties. BFN IVF #4 ER 8/22 9R,7F ET 8/25-3 embies, 1 frostie! Beta 9/2= 54, 9/6=274, 9/8=625, 9/12=2953, 9/16 greater than 10,000. B/G TWINS born April 2012 @ 36wks & 1 day! July 2014-going back for the frozen embryo! ET 7/28, heartbeat seen at 6wks1day with SCH. Miscarriage confirmed at 6wks4days Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • My husband did it by himself during the day and I had them all evening from January (when they got out of the NICU) till June when they could start going to Daycare.  I was in the hospital before I delivered so I had no leave left after they got out of the hospital and my FMLA was exhausted.  It sucked, but you can do it.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers IVF #1 BFP Beta #1 528 & Beta #2 1514
  • Even if your support network is back at work, can you arrange help from them in the evenings/nights/weekends? At least this way, even though you're on your own during the day, at least you can get a break and some sleep during hours that someone else can help out. Also, look at what other ways friends and family can help - bringing over food and things like that so that it's one less thing you and your DH have to worry about.

    I'm hoping that at least through the growth spurts, I can find friends or relatives willing to help us w/ one overnight each so that I can handle cluster BFing around the clock w/o DH having to be the sole support person while he also has to work during the day. Basically, all I'm asking for is someone to hand me the babies and change a diaper as needed for a few hour shift during those couple days.

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  • My girls spent 7 weeks in the nicu but when they came dh had already used all his time up so I was running solo too. My mom came and helped the second week they were home but it is doable. Both my girls were on monitors and one would turn blue when she ate. It was a mess but we made it through. I started back to work 3 weeks after they came home (I work nights as a nurse) You will be fine, but call some friends for backup so you can shower and eat something. GL
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