February 2013 Moms

Sex question

3rd trimester is making me a hormoneasaurus. For some unknown reason DH seems to find me way more attractive in pregnancy too. But we haven't been able to do anything.
I've had terrible sciatica most of this pregnancy. Anything that involves my hips seems to be killer. I can't be in top because my legs completely cramp up. I feel like every time we try it end with tons of frustrated maneuvering and then me in tears because I can't make either of us happy. DH is super understanding, but I'm reeeeeaaaalllyyy getting frustrated.
So, fellow round ladies, tell me what works for you.

Eleanor- 1.5 Years (Jan 2013)
Nathan- 3.5 Years (April 2011)

Re: Sex question

  • Sciatica here too. Spooning has gone really well for us. Keeps my belly out of the way and a decent amount of the pressure of the side/hip/leg getting the brunt of the sciatica pain. Sucks not being able to see my SO but you get to stay all wrapped up and warm and not in pain so it's a pretty fair trade.
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  • We do a sort of scissor position, lying on our sides.
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  • I don't have sciatica, but doggy is about all that works for me these days... spooning has never really worked for us, even before pregnancy. I can get on top for a short while before my hips start aching... and doggy has been the only position with enough friction to really do it for me anyway. I'm sure it's something you've tried, but I just hope you find something that works soon!! I just got off pelvic rest this week, and I completely empathize with the frustration!! 
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  • Getting difficult here too. Last time couple times I was on top I felt uncomfortable, like it was too deep or something. Turns out it was because the last time I got up afterward and was immediately bleeding. A lot. So we tried it missionary with a pillow under my bum and that worked. We recently tried without the pillow and it didn't go well for me. Went just fine for him though. I think the pillow is where it's at.
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  • I agree with PPs. Try spooning, at least for the start. My left hip will start to ache, and then we'll switch to doggy, which has never hurt me in any way. 

    It has come to tears for us too, not being able to do something as natural as sex is SO FRUSTRATING, but don't give up. If a position doesn't work one day, you can still try it again, just go at it with an open mind.  

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  • Spooning or doggy are the only positions that work for us anymore. Me on top used to work reasonably well, but the last time we tried that I felt like there was way too much pressure on my pelvis/cervix area and we had to stop. It definitely is getting frustrating. We just haven't been doing it very much (which doesn't really bother me because my sex drive is really low), but it still sucks because I know that after baby we won't do it for weeks, so I guess I was hoping we would be able to get it in now? Haha.
    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
    BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014


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  • Standing, if you catch my drift ;)

    It's the only way that works for me right now.


  • Doggy style is the only way that works for us, I was able to be on top until about a week ago, but my belly is in the way now.
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  • image kleigh926:
    Spooning or doggy are the only positions that work for us anymore. Me on top used to work reasonably well, but the last time we tried that I felt like there was way too much pressure on my pelvis/cervix area and we had to stop. It definitely is getting frustrating. We just haven't been doing it very much (which doesn't really bother me because my sex drive is really low), but it still sucks because I know that after baby we won't do it for weeks, so I guess I was hoping we would be able to get it in now? Haha.

    Spooning was never comfortable for me, but I agree with everything else you said!!! 


  • Spooning, doggie and scissors are the most comfortable for me. Unfortunately my DH doesn't appreciate where he can't see my face and kiss me. He has been so considerate of my size and doesn't want to take for granted my soaring hormones right now, during the 2nd tri it was very painful to have sex and he was so frustrated. He is always asking...is this normal? Should we call the dr? Over everything even sex!!
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  • If penetration doesn't work then I say move on to fellatio and cunnilingus. If aren't ready to give up on coitus you could fashion a wedge out of pillows for your back or buy a wedge from an adult store or if you have the money invest in a swing. No pressure on your hips and its easy for DH to maneuver.
    --Married 4 Years - PCOS - Insulin Resistant - Irregular Cycles - TTC 24mon - Metformin - Progesterone - Phentermine - 40 pounds lost - 3 rounds Clomid - DH 1% sperm morphology - BFP June 23rd - Paxton born 2/15/2013 - August 2013 Let's Have Another Baby- Charting Cycles with OPC and Charting Temps, No Ovulation Jan- Start clomid Feb 2014  --
  • I am sorry I can't help ya.  Sex whats that?  I keep getting told no.  I wish I could help ya out.  But why not try to heat pack before.  I know its hard to say ok we going to have sex at this time on this date but if every evening you put heat pack on the area than maybe that will help for when you guys do try.
    April 10 IUI BFN Sept 10 IUI BRN Feb 11 IVF hoping for a BFP! Feb 27 ER 28 eggs Mar 4 8 health eggs, 2 ET Mar 17 - Beta 180!! BFP!!! Mar 21 - Beta 1295!! holy cow what a jump Coming soon 1st Sono March 30!!! Crossing fingers for healthy stick bean(s) Mar 29 miscarry :( 6w 3d 2nd IVF July 2011 BFP July 2011 M/C 11/11/11 hate to say good bye again! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 3rd IVF 4/3/12 ER 46 eggs (holly cow batman) 40 mature, 36 fertilized 4/8/12 ET 2 AB put back 4/10/12 15 make it to FREEZE 4/22/12 Beta BFN 1st FET 6/7/12 Day we are going to put back 2. 6/21/12 BFP 1285 6/25/12 4780 I hope this time they stick!! Deaglan William welcome. My rainbow is finally here February 7, 2013
  • Getting difficult over here too which is soooo frustrating. We usually try to keep up our sex life to at least 4-5 times a week but as my husband described it last night " it's starting to be like Sci Fi Porn". Doggie sometimes works for us but sometimes hurts but other then that I'm mostly just " taking care of him" orally. The belly is starting to freak him out too much for much else which I understand. 
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  • I swear nothing deters my husband's sex drive. I could have the plague and he'd still be in the mood.  I have like zero drive right now because I feel huge.  My stomach is big and in the way, my boobs are extra big and super sensitive (still!) and my lady bits are swollen and just feel gross.  So yeah, I feel terribllyunattractive right now.

    That said, I still try to get into it at least once a week.  When we have sex, we do it doggy style because it's really the only way that doesn't create any exertion on my part, and my boobs and stomach are out of the way.  When I get on top (which is typically our favorite position), I tend to get braxton hicks contractions and then get out of breath super easily.  That is not sexy. 

     Also, can someone explain to me how it's possible to have so much damn discharge, yet, be dry as a bone when it's time to have sex??  Lube doesn't always work either.  Grr. 

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  • We are still doing him on top with my hips propped WAY up on pillows so the bump doesn't get in the way. Works well for us, but my DH will never refuse a BJ and that doesn't require too much effort.
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    Eleanor Louise is going to be a big sister!
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  • Our position these days is hard to describe, but we discovers it on our honeymoon and realized it would work great while I can't be on top so much. On top my hips hurt and I get awful round ligament pain.

    Anyway, whatwe do is I lie flat on my back and DH lies on his side facing me. I put my right leg over his right leg, his left leg goes on top of that leg and my left leg is on top. I stay flat on my back and Dh is lying on his side looking up at my face...I have no idea if there us a name for this position, but it's the only comfortable way for me lately.
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  • Okay, apparently it's scissoring. I'm obviously too innocent if I didn't know that! Sorry for my tmi description. ;
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  • Scissoring or doggy style. Neither is really doing it for me (well sex hasn't done it for me at all while being pregnant), but it's the only way that sex is comfortable at the moment. We tend to do a lot of foreplay and then finish in one of those two positions.
    TTC 1: Off BCP late October 2011. BFP #1 Jan 2, 2012; EDD September 5, 2012; m/c Jan 12, 2012. BFP #2 June 14, 2012; EDD February 22, 2013.
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    My super all about me birth story:
    Then: Fraternal twins born at 26 weeks in 1983. Me: 640 grams. Brother: 840 grams. Family kept watch in the NICU for 5 months before being allowed to go home. On oxygen for a year and a half after being released.
    Now: Me: PhD student and married. Brother: Lawyer and married.
    Dad's wedding speech: Thank you to all the family who stood watch and prayed for our children's survival. Well now the little scrawny chicken is married. Who would've thought? (Thanks dad for making me laugh and cry at the same time).
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  • I am 35 weeks and we can still make it work with me on my back. That is the only thing that really seems to work at this point as I am absolutely huge and even have trouble laying on my side! To help you relax if you are having lots of muscle pain like me is getting a massage from your partner first. I can identify with your frustration but just remember, this pregnancy won't last forever!

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