Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

if you breastfed or are bfing past 13 months...

my lo never took a bottle or wouldnt take pumped milk from a sippy, so i ended up ebf without any of that and it has worked fine for us. i had planned at weaning around a year but she is very attached and im trying not to force the issue. we are down to bedtime and sometimes a middle of the night. i would love to stop but right now im hoping she does it on her own. my family gives me SUCH a hard time about this. (mother and sisters mostly) just as they have the whole time i have ebf. my sisters do not have kids so i dont really listen to them, and my mother had kids around the time that formula was "the thing"

they are always saying things like "she is going to nurse to kindergarten" or "you need to wean her" or "let her cry to sleep" 

i usually just ignore their comments, and i know its my choice to keep bfing if i want, but does anyone else have unsupportive families when it comes to this type of thing? how do you handle it? does it bother you?

dh is pretty good about it, he makes comments every now and then about how she needs to be weaned but 99% of the time he doesnt say anything because he knows its my choice and ill wean when im ready.

 

thoughts? 

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Re: if you breastfed or are bfing past 13 months...

  • Be proud of your choice and don't let anyone make you feel bad.  If someone says anything, you could either: give a smart aleky comment or if you're not that way, tell them to stop.  I'd like to be able to do the smart comments, but I'm more of a just barely able to force something out if I'm uncomfortable.  Good luck...and your little one will wean at some point...if you're ready before your LO is, then you can work on weaning.
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  • I agree with PP, you are making a great choice for you and your baby.  My mother, who is all about BF'ing has made some comments about how "it's time to stop."  DS has weaned on his own and rarely nurses now, but I cherished every moment of it.  Good luck!
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  • The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding up to at least age 2.

    If you and your LO are happy with the arrangement I would not force weaning at this point. 

    Most people have been supportive of me when they find out she is still nursing. Sorry your family is giving you a hard time. 

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  • Totally, kudos to you! That is an accomplishment. I wouldn't worry about what people say! We have friends that have breastfed 2 years. Nothing to be ashamed of! Be proud! Wish I could have made it that long. My friend's son took a while to ween.
    Carrie An infertility veteran, survivor and champion. However, have a beautiful son and another one on the way!
  • Meh - left to their own devices, humans wouldn't wean by a year.  the average age for self-weaning is between 2 and 4, worldwide.  And, really, just because you nurse your one year old means that he/she will automatically be nursing four years from now?  Really?  That's just ridiculous.

    Be proud.

    We still are going strong at 2.5yrs.  DD nurses WAY more than your LO (~5-6 times a day). 

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  • How many kindergartners does she really know who are still BFing. My guess is probably none. What a ridiculous comment! I would just say "I'm her mom and I'm doing what's best for her" and nip any other negative comment. You shouldn't have to deal with it. DD still nurses at night and very occasionally during the day if she's especially crabby and doesn't want to nap. She drinks milk from a straw sippy like a champ but doesn't care for the tippy type of cups. You shouldn't feel pressure to wean. 13months is hardly too long and your sister's don't have kids so they are not qualified to comment. Before I had DD I thought a year should be the maximum too but I kept my mouth shut. I'm glad I did because I was wrong and so are they. You are the mom, you make the decisions, they need to respect you and deal with it AND stop giving you a hard time or you need to distance yourself from them awhile.

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  • I'm still nursing my 17 month old. It's really none of their business. Everyone is going to have an opinion. As long as you're still ok with it, than I would still nurse.
    Amanda and Mike~ 06/07/2008

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  • As long as you are both happy (you and your baby) with your arrangement, keep with it! Your child, your boobs, your life.  I'd tell family to shove it. 
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  • I'm pregnant with LO2 and still nursing DD at 18 months. She loves it so I don't plan to stop any time soon. I'm lucky though because nobody makes any negative comments to me, if they did I'd state that WHO reccomend to BF at least until 2. 

    You can also tell them this information...

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  • I really have no advice my parents are the same way about nursing. We are own to once a day, and I'm close to weaning. But I just refuse to engage my mother/sister. I flat out refuse to talk to them about it. And have gone so far as to say "I don't care about your opinion." 

    Hang in there! And good for you for making it this far! 

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  • Congrats! My first wouldnt nurse so I pumped but it wasnt the same and my milk dried up at three months, my second I nursed for two months until I literally couldnt anymore, I was so sore and they bleed, not good, so its awesome you were able to. My friend nursed till her son was 18 months and would literally reach down and pull em out lol thats when her family hinted at ger to stop. But she did it slowly and got down to on e a night. I think she started putting him to bed with a sippy of milk instead. Point is you will know when you are both ready, esp if they are pulling up your shirt in public. As for your parents tell her you are weaning her slowly and uts your choice to do so. Good luck and good job
  • FYI - My DD stopped at 16 months --- We were BF 2x a day at 14 mos, at 15 mos DD refused the bedtime nursing for over 1 week and I let it go, then at 16mos DD refused the morning nursing outright one day and I went with it.  My DH was ready for me to be done (in a kind way) and - I guess - I was too...  like you said - when you (and/or LO) are ready.
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  • My DH who wasn't completely supportive at first, once told my parents that we are aiming for 10 yrs...joking, but basically telling them to butt out! We are at almost 38 months... I know 3 yrs seems weird to most people, but it's only in the morn. and at night. It's really not a big deal for us, even though the 'kindergarten' comments did get old!
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  • Most 2 yr olds I know are still drinking milk and are very attached to their bottles, so what's the difference?  People and their opinions... jeesh.  Sorry you have to hear it from your family.  The only family member that said anything to me about it was my grandmother, but I just smiled and moved on to a new subject.

    Your baby, your breast-feeding relationship.  Period, end of story!

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  • I'm still breastfeeding...I can't wean her until we break the habit of nursing to sleep!    I'm hoping to have her completely weaned by 18months.   Yes, my mom has made that comment..."She's gonna be 4 years old and running up to you to pull up your shirt!"      My husband wants me to wean her too,  but I don't see what the big rush is.   I don't think its weird to nurse 'til 18 months!   
    ~*Kimberly*~


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  • Still BFing at 20 mos 3 times a day. It's between you and your baby. Nobody elses biz. It's so good for them and around the world most people do it till 2. Ignore people and follow your mama instincts.
  • So, so proud of you!!!!  I breastfed until 12.5 months, when my LO self weaned.  However, we would have kept going if my LO would have wanted to!  I was so sad to stop. :(  I admire you, and would keep right on going.  There are so many benefits for your LO from breastmilk and nursing.
  • My family is supportive, but my MIL makes snide comments. At BIL's Christmas party this year one of BIL's friends mentioned that she still breastfeeds her almost 3 year old, so I'm thinking the comments will die down as she realizes there are a lot of others out there still doing it.
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  • Just pretend you aren't American and live where most people BF until 2yrs or longer :) 
  • By 13 months DD was mostly night and naps. She definitely wasn't ready to wean. By 17 months she was mostly there and I had a work function one night. Got home late and she was already asleep. I decided it was time. The next night she fought and cried and didn't understand and it was hard for about twenty minutes. Then she went to sleep. The next night was a bit easier and so on. 

    If you want to do it then do it but don't wean because your family thinks its weird. It's not and just because she is 13 months does not in anyway mean she'll be BFing in kindergarten. That's ridiculous. She is still a baby.  


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  • i dont know why i put 13 months... my lo is 15 months! haha oh my.

     

    thanks everyone for the amazing support. part of why i wanted to post this here. im going to just ignore the comments. thanks ladies! you are all so great.

    my lo has NEVER been sick, we are so fortunate. and im CONVINCED its from breastfeeding. 

  • I'm still nursing my 17 month old (almost) 3 times a day. When he wakes up, before his nap, and before bed. He still needs it, he still benefits from it, I still love it... so there's no question about doing it or not. I'm currently at my in laws house for an extended Christmas visit (shoot me) and I can't tell you how many comments I've heard, either at me directly or under the breath of one family member to another.

     

    I love to use terribly dry sarcasm and the occasional F bomb to put them in their place. My son has long hair and we pulled it back in a ponytail tonight while he was getting sweaty from playing so hard. a male relative made a stupid comment with something about my son being a "sissy". I simply replied with "My son is none of your Fing business, stop talking".

    My MIL decided to put on a movie so no one would have to talk. :)

     

    in my opinion I say let 'em have it. stand up for your amazing gift to literally nourish your child from your own body, and tell everyone else to eff off.  

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  • image Meg2989:
    Congrats! My first wouldnt nurse so I pumped but it wasnt the same and my milk dried up at three months, my second I nursed for two months until I literally couldnt anymore, I was so sore and they bleed, not good, so its awesome you were able to. My friend nursed till her son was 18 months and would literally reach down and pull em out lol thats when her family hinted at ger to stop. But she did it slowly and got down to on e a night. I think she started putting him to bed with a sippy of milk instead. Point is you will know when you are both ready, esp if they are pulling up your shirt in public. As for your parents tell her you are weaning her slowly and uts your choice to do so. Good luck and good job

    If a baby is pulling on your shirt in public it doesn't mean they're ready to wean, it means they want more milk and are communicated that to you. There is nothing wrong with that.


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  • Not very many people know that I still BF DD. She's 18 months old now and BF's around 5-6 times a day. My original goal was 12 months, but I realized very early on that I'd be comfortable continuing longer. I plan to let DD self-wean whenever she's ready.

    Occasionally, someone will ask me if I still BF her when they see her pull on my shirt in public. I'm honest about it, but I don't really like to talk much about it with people because I really don't care what their opinions on breastfeeding are. I've done my research and am comfortable with my decision so it doesn't matter to me what others think. 

    As far as your family's comments are concerned, I'd just tell them to mind their own business. If you weren't meant to breastfeed, your body wouldn't still be producing milk! 

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  • I bf to 15 months.... I just stopped talking about it with people. It's none of their business what u choose to do.

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  • Ugh. Don't you hate how everyone is always like "are you BF'ing?" in the beginning and then judge you if you aren't. THEN, people start judging you if you [still] are. Luckily I haven't had anyone say anything and everyone in my family is totally supportive. I know some "friends" who silently raise their brows but they can suck it. PUN? JK.

    Keep going if it's what you want. Consider whether or not you'll regret stopping - and who you'll be stopping for.

    I'm letting him wean naturally FTR. Judgers can judge. 

  • image BeachMama7693:

    i dont know why i put 13 months... my lo is 15 months! haha oh my.

     

    thanks everyone for the amazing support. part of why i wanted to post this here. im going to just ignore the comments. thanks ladies! you are all so great.

    my lo has NEVER been sick, we are so fortunate. and im CONVINCED its from breastfeeding. 

    My preemie only had my BM for around 2 months, formula up until a year. Cow's milk now. He's 16 months & has never been sick, either. Sorry, just wanted to add that tidbit. 

    "They tell me you were born premature, my child, but this is only partially true.. 
    for in my heart you were right on time." 
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  • image LatteLady5:

    image Meg2989:
    Congrats! My first wouldnt nurse so I pumped but it wasnt the same and my milk dried up at three months, my second I nursed for two months until I literally couldnt anymore, I was so sore and they bleed, not good, so its awesome you were able to. My friend nursed till her son was 18 months and would literally reach down and pull em out lol thats when her family hinted at ger to stop. But she did it slowly and got down to on e a night. I think she started putting him to bed with a sippy of milk instead. Point is you will know when you are both ready, esp if they are pulling up your shirt in public. As for your parents tell her you are weaning her slowly and uts your choice to do so. Good luck and good job

    If a baby is pulling on your shirt in public it doesn't mean they're ready to wean, it means they want more milk and are communicated that to you. There is nothing wrong with that.


    This. My 16 month old will sign to nurse but will also pull at my shirt if she means business. I've never understood this line of thinking and the, "if their old enough to ask for it.." Um, newborns ask to nurse.

    OP, if it comes up and the person asking us uninformed or judging I spout off a lot of facts including the WHO recommendations, etc. This usually ends the discussion. I don't suggest cursing at your family and friends right off the bat, though, charming as it may be.

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  • I just weaned my 22 month old a week ago and it went very smoothly.  I had tried about a 5 weeks ago but she was clearly distraught so I decided to wait a little longer and now it is clear she was ready. 

     If you and LO are happy then you should stick with your gut and do what you feel is right for as long as you want!  My bf's mother was almost grossed out by the idea of breastfeeding and couldn't believe I didn't wean her earlier, but I just ignored it for the most part.  At one point a few months ago my bf asked why I hadn't weaned her yet I explained my feelings behind it and after understanding better he was more supportive again (not that he ever directly wasn't).  

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