I was asked for a count of grandparents attending my shower. My mother is hosting my shower. I mentioned my father's wife/girlfriend and my mom freaked.
My parents have been divorced for 25 years. Now, my dad went nuts had been married several times after. He and his current partner exchanged rings and personal vows, but are not legally married a smart decision considering my dads history.
Even though they aren't legally married, I recognize her as my fathers life partner. She nursed him through cancer and despite some ups and downs, she and I have a healthy, positive relationship. My LO will call her "Nana".
I would like to recognize her as a grandparent at my shower. My mother doesn't want to.