2nd Trimester

Belly Touching

Am I the only person who finds belly touching incredibly invasive? I cannot seem to find a way to tell people not to do it without seeming rude or snobbish. It's easy to come up with sarcastic and ridiculous responsesto the "touchers" but I don't think I would ever use them. I am loving being pregnant but I feel so invaded with all the questions and touching. I'm not really a shy or introverted person so this feeling of wanting privacy is new. 

 

 

Re: Belly Touching

  • Next time someone touches your belly without asking, grab her tits. She probably won't do it again. 

    Seriously, though, this hasn't happened to me yet because I'm only just starting to show, but I'll have no qualms being short or rude about it, especially if it's a stranger. What they're doing is rude; don't feel bad about letting them know it. 

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  • I honestly don't mind it. But if you really don't like it like PP said... grab a boob! ;)

     

  • No one has ever tried to touch my belly.  I must look like a real ***, or at least someone not to be messed with.
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  • I posted in the unpopular opinion thread not long ago that I actually don't mind people (that I know!) touching my belly. I think it's kind of cute for some reason. I initially thought it would bug me but I don't have a problem with it.  

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  • Personally, I LOVE when people touch my belly. It doesn't bother me in the slightest bit.

    One of my closest friends was pregnant when she worked in a mall, and always had strangers touching her belly. She hated it so she started touching their bellies when they touched hers. It was the funniest thing ever to watch. Most people got really offended and then realized that they shouldn't have done it first.

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  • I actually don't mind it--but then I haven't had a stranger try to touch me yet.  I think I would go ahead and say something or slap a hand away if I felt uncomfortable.




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  • if its a stranger then i mind but if its family or close friends, they usually ask so i guess i dont have this problem much.
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  • Personally, i have a huge problem with anyone touching me without asking - and that was before I got pregnant.  Now, even DH asks before he touches my tummy.   Just like any other personal event or condition it is yours to share or not as you see fit.  Don't feel bad or like you are being rude or snobbish.   Protecting your child like this seems to come to all of us naturally.   I also felt like I was being unbearably rude and asked my DH for help and he has stepped up admirably.  Have you talked to your DH/SO about it?  He can help run interference when the unwanted contact occurs.  As for questions, I have had some doozies!  Again, it is up to you how much you want to share.  People have some of the oddest/most invasive things they think are ok to ask about.  If you don't want to share the information just say so.  It is not being rude.  Good Luck and God Bless.
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  • I've seen shirts that say "No touching, baby sleeping" that I plan on getting. The one I might make says "you touch, i punch" I'm a fiesty pregnant lady!

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  • Don't feel bad saying no..if you don't want your belly touched. Just say so. If you are worried about being rude or snobbish, just say it simply makes you uncomfortable. Or if you don't want to be blunt about it, (like boob grabbing someone back) just say you aren't feeling well maybe a different day they can touch it. Or your tummy hurts, some little excuse :) If I don't want to be touched I usually just say I'm grumpy and let's do this tomorrow. They get the hint.
  • I dont like it.

    Ive only had one friend hesitantly reach for it so i gave her the OK.

    My husbands younger sister (25) does it a lot. I dont really want to tell her not to because I dont want to hurt her feelings but it does make me feel uncomfortable.

     

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  • You guys realize rubbing a pregnant woman's belly and rubbing a strangers boobs are totally different, right???

    I don't get why women get so mad over belly touching.
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  • image RussianMommy:
    You guys realize rubbing a pregnant woman's belly and rubbing a strangers boobs are totally different, right??? I don't get why women get so mad over belly touching.

     

    If the pregnant woman is a stranger you shouldnt touch her belly either.

    If a stranger touches my belly its just as intrusive.

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  • image RussianMommy:
    You guys realize rubbing a pregnant woman's belly and rubbing a strangers boobs are totally different, right??? I don't get why women get so mad over belly touching.

    1) They aren't any different at all.

    2) So, I wonder if you don't understand why guys shouldn't grab their waitress's ass either. Yet, harmless intent doesn't make that action defensible either.

    Uninvited intimate physical contact from one stranger to another is not socially acceptable, generally rude, and is kind of creepy too. Just because a woman is pregnant does not mean she had ceded domain over her body to the general public. People just lose their minds and common sense around pregnancy ladies, but that doesn't make it right. Just as in other, more immediately harmful circumstances, no means no.

    If you are content letting strangers handle your belly, then you can certainly give permission tacitly by not taking action to prevent it. But, that doesn't mean that women who don't want strangers handling their body are wrong for objecting, or for getting mad when their objections are brushed aside because the person intent on touching isn't meaning any harm.

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  • I don't mind unless it's a stranger. Or one of my students, because I teach high school so that's just not appropriate. Anyone else, I don't care. If a stranger or student reaches out to touch me, I will literally jump back and say "Please don't touch me." You can generally tell when people are about to go in for a feel. I don't think it's a huge deal.
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  • image PetraStonegirl:

    image RussianMommy:
    You guys realize rubbing a pregnant woman's belly and rubbing a strangers boobs are totally different, right??? I don't get why women get so mad over belly touching.

    1) They aren't any different at all.

    2) So, I wonder if you don't understand why guys shouldn't grab their waitress's ass either. Yet, harmless intent doesn't make that action defensible either.

    Uninvited intimate physical contact from one stranger to another is not socially acceptable, generally rude, and is kind of creepy too. Just because a woman is pregnant does not mean she had ceded domain over her body to the general public.

    Ummm, you're totally wrong, that's not the same AT ALL. Grabbing someone's boobs or ass is sexual and is objectifying that person. Someone touching your belly is not on the same level at all. I agree 100% that it is out of line for a complete stranger to touch your belly, but I also think that saying "it's the same thing" as a stranger grabbing someone's ass is completely ridiculous. People have good intentions. No one who grabs a waitress ass has "harmless intent," but people who touch a pregnant woman's belly do. Not that it's okay, but it's not on the same level at all. 

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  • image HK2mom4:

    Sounds like you need one of these too ...

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    Haha awesome shirt. Me and my husband both laughed over this.

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  • I honestly don't mind it at all. But if it bothers you, don't be afraid to let people know.
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  • My mom and her friends try to touch my stomach all the time and I can't stand it.  I'm only 17 weeks and not huge yet - maybe that's why it bothers me, because it's not really a "bump," more like a fat roll and it makes me self-conscious and I'm not a touchy-feely person in general.  Personally, I would never touch a stranger's pregnant belly, or even a friend's pregnant belly, without asking first.  Still, each woman is entitled to her own feelings and I can understand both sides of the argument.  It's just not for me.
  •  

    image RussianMommy:
    You guys realize rubbing a pregnant woman's belly and rubbing a strangers boobs are totally different, right??? I don't get why women get so mad over belly touching.

     

    I think it's all fine and dandy if you think it's no big deal, but others might have a different comfort zone, a bigger "bubble" if you may.

    Personally, if we're close enough to hug, we're close enough for you to know to ASK me if you can touch my belly. If you don't know to ask, then you don't know me well enough to be granted that right.

    I sound bratty? Perhaps. I just don't tolerate people invading my personal space. My body is considered my personal space. I wouldn't touch someone's body, in a sexual or a non-sexual way, without consent. I even ask babies if they want to be held by me, FFS, I'm not about to touch someone uninvited! It's called respect, and it goes both ways... 

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  • image pinottoparenthood:
    image PetraStonegirl:

    image RussianMommy:
    You guys realize rubbing a pregnant woman's belly and rubbing a strangers boobs are totally different, right??? I don't get why women get so mad over belly touching.

    1) They aren't any different at all.

    2) So, I wonder if you don't understand why guys shouldn't grab their waitress's ass either. Yet, harmless intent doesn't make that action defensible either.

    Uninvited intimate physical contact from one stranger to another is not socially acceptable, generally rude, and is kind of creepy too. Just because a woman is pregnant does not mean she had ceded domain over her body to the general public.

    Ummm, you're totally wrong, that's not the same AT ALL. Grabbing someone's boobs or ass is sexual and is objectifying that person. Someone touching your belly is not on the same level at all. I agree 100% that it is out of line for a complete stranger to touch your belly, but I also think that saying "it's the same thing" as a stranger grabbing someone's ass is completely ridiculous. People have good intentions. No one who grabs a waitress ass has "harmless intent," but people who touch a pregnant woman's belly do. Not that it's okay, but it's not on the same level at all. 

    Same level. Petra is correct. Personally, I may be even more sensitive about someone touching my belly than my boobs or ass. To put it bluntly, it's called simple battery. Not that anyone would file charges against someone who touched their belly uninvited. And that's because certain types of people just don't get it and minimize it. But, I don't want anyone touching my body without an invitation -- boobs, butt, or belly. It's not for you or anyone else to say what is offensive to me. If it doesn't bother you, that's great for you. It bothers me. A lot.

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  • image MotherMayEye:
    image pinottoparenthood:
    image PetraStonegirl:

    image RussianMommy:
    You guys realize rubbing a pregnant woman's belly and rubbing a strangers boobs are totally different, right??? I don't get why women get so mad over belly touching.

    1) They aren't any different at all.

    2) So, I wonder if you don't understand why guys shouldn't grab their waitress's ass either. Yet, harmless intent doesn't make that action defensible either.

    Uninvited intimate physical contact from one stranger to another is not socially acceptable, generally rude, and is kind of creepy too. Just because a woman is pregnant does not mean she had ceded domain over her body to the general public.

    Ummm, you're totally wrong, that's not the same AT ALL. Grabbing someone's boobs or ass is sexual and is objectifying that person. Someone touching your belly is not on the same level at all. I agree 100% that it is out of line for a complete stranger to touch your belly, but I also think that saying "it's the same thing" as a stranger grabbing someone's ass is completely ridiculous. People have good intentions. No one who grabs a waitress ass has "harmless intent," but people who touch a pregnant woman's belly do. Not that it's okay, but it's not on the same level at all. 

    Same level. Petra is correct. Personally, I may be even more sensitive about someone touching my belly than my boobs or ass. To put it bluntly, it's called simple battery. Not that anyone would file charges against someone who touched their belly uninvited. And that's because certain types of people just don't get it and minimize it. But, I don't want anyone touching my body without an invitation -- boobs, butt, or belly. It's not for you or anyone else to say what is offensive to me. If it doesn't bother you, that's great for you. It bothers me. A lot.

    I totally agree with this and I would like to raise the question, if I wasn't pregnant would it be acceptable to rub my stomach if I didn't invite you or at least give you permission? I don't think it would be. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that I'm public property. I'm a pretty touchy, feely person in general so I'm not against touching, but I don't want to touch anyone, pregnant or not in a manner that makes them uncomfortable and this is what is happening. In addition, I don't want it to happen to me.

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  • I thought I would hate people touching my belly, and I did at first, when my belly was more like a "fat roll" lol. It's getting better now and I don't mind as much. I'm excited about the movement and sometimes I'll call a good friend or family member over to feel DS move.

    Otherwise, when I'm at church or in a group of people and don't want people to touch me, I basically just block them. Fold your hands over your belly, hold your purse in front of you, keep your coat on, don't stand quite face to face with them, etc. There are ways to make your belly less inviting - if I have my hands on my belly or arms crossed over it or whatever, someone is not going to walk up and shove my hands out of the way so they can put theirs on my stomach instead. It seems to work fine. 

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  • My SO doesn't believe that people will try to touch my belly. I don't like the idea of a stranger touching me in any way, shape, or form (I cringe if people I've been friends with for years hug me and I am not ready for it). I plan on politely saying, "Please don't touch me, I don't know you." If they have a problem with it, that is not my problem. They should learn about personal space. My biggest fear, is after the baby is born. If a stranger grabs for my baby's face (SO does not believe me that people do this too), I will have no problem slapping the fire out of their arm and telling them where they can put their hands.
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