May 2013 Moms

Naming baby boy after dad?

My husband's family has a tradition (a few generations long from what I can tell), where they name the first born boy after the father and the second born boy after the grandfather. We go for our a/s in a couple of weeks, and if this is a boy, I know my DH would really like the baby named after him. (He is a second born boy- so he's named after Grandpa) I personally am not thrilled with the idea. I love DH's name, but I think it will be confusing for everyone to have 2 of the same name in the family. DD has also heard us talking about it, and she states she doesn't want the baby to have the same name as daddy, lol.

So what are your thoughts? 

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Re: Naming baby boy after dad?

  • We are naming our son after my DH, it is a family tradition in his family too, he is not the first born son so his older brother has his dads name, and his nephew has the same name.  My uncle is also a junior.

    Honestly, name confusion isn't that big of a deal, but since my DH is Mike we plan on calling LO Michael instead, and there are always lots of nicknames that our families come up with.

    If it is really important to your DH I would really consider it, it was VERY important to my DH and he is really excited to have a Jr.

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  • Tell to your husband straight of what you thought, I think he would understand and respect you:)
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  • I know a lot of people who have named the sons after the father.  DH didn't want that, so we used his name as my son's middle name.
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  • Both of our families share the same tradition, so we have a junior. My brother and two nephews are IVs. There hasn't ever been any confusion, 99 of the time it's clear which one is being addressed by what's being said. We have nicknames for some, too.

    I was really on the fence about continuing the tradition, but it was really important to the husband so I went along with it. I would probably compromise and say that if there's a third baby and it's a boy that you get to pick the name.
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  • DS1 is named after DH.  DH is James Ryan (goes by Ryan, FIL is Jim - though not James Ryan).  We call DS1 JR for his first 2 initials. 

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  • Maybe you can talk to your husband about giving your son his name as a mn. I understand where you are coming from because my brother is named after my dad and there is so much confusion. Mistakes have been made where they have things show up on their credit reports, car insurance, etc. simply because people don't pay attention to DOBs.

    Even if your DH is dead set on naming your son after him, I think it is still worth talking to him if it is something you don't want.

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  • I feel your pain !!

    We just found out we were having a son. It wasnt even a question that I would have to name my son after his father..making my LO Mario Anthony Malatino IV.  Luckily, My father and both grandfathers are Anthonys or Antonio so I pretend its for them a little.

     Just try and find a cute nickname 

  • My son is the 4th. It was really important to my hubby to have a 4th. It works for us because my hubby goes by Trey and his dad goes by Bill and his grandfather went by Billy, so our son is just William.
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  • This isn't a tradition in our family- but we were dead set on Luke as our son's name. We didn't like any middle names with Luke so we settled on Joshua Luke. Joshua is my husband's name. He goes exclusively by Luke and most people have no idea that it's actually his middle name. I am a teacher and have this all.the.time (students going by middle names). 

    Could you name your baby DH's first name and then come up with a MN you like and call him by that? Or is the tradition to actually call baby by DH's name?

    We have had only 1 issue with health insurance at our pedi office (with them filing accidentally under DH's name instead of LO's name). As soon as I explained that DH and LO have the same first name it was solved.

    This time around it's a girl and we are using my MN as DD's MN... yay! 

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  • DH's family doesn't have this tradition, but if he did I would definitely honor it. I don't mind my husband's name so having a junior would be fine by me. I love family traditions like this!
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  • That sounds confusing to me--it means that the second boy would have the same name as his uncle (dad's big brother) and his cousin (uncle's first born). 

    Jewish tradition is to name after someone deceased.  We keep getting asked why we are naming after our grandmother's rather than DH's mother.  We said because our niece is already named after her and we don't want it to seem like we are naming after our niece.  And we are going on the tradition of just using the first letter of the name, not the name itself. 

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  • I think no matter what the traditions are in his family it's your right to have a say in your own baby's name. If you don't want to continue that tradition then you both need to find a name you agree on. I would be angry if it was presented to me in a way that "this is what we do" and there is no way I would agree to it. If you are ok with it, that's fine. Just don't give in if it's something you really don't want. Maybe you could use the names they want for the second name and have a name you both agree on for the first.

    I would never name a child after one of the parents. I don't mind naming a child after another relative but I really hate the parent having the same name. And why would both sons be named for his family?

    EDIT to fix and add.

    I don't think it's a compromise if you just go along with whatever your husband wants...unless you really want it as well. A compromise is more like picking a first name you both want and using his name as the middle name.

  • I think it is nice when people have these traditions however, if you are really not for it, I would definitely talk to your DH about it. Maybe you can find a compromise. My DH's family tradition is to use the father's name as the first son's middle name. I'm fine with this, but if it were tradition to name the first son after the father, I would not be thrilled.

    I think it is important for you to consider it and be sensitive to your DH wishes, but I don't think you should automatically give up all say in your child's name for a family tradition. Good luck!


  • My husband has strong opinions on his son's name as well... he told me when we first started dating if he had a son that his name would be William. DH is William... his dad is William... his grandfather is William... but they all have different middle names. DH didn't want a Jr., so we decided on a different middle name (in keeping with the tradition) but DH and baby will have the same initials.

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  • image Mama-Bear:
    DS1 is named after DH.  DH is James Ryan (goes by Ryan, FIL is Jim - though not James Ryan).  We call DS1 JR for his first 2 initials. 

     

    That's my DH's name!  He goes by Jim to most people.  It's also his dad's name and he goes by Jim too.  My MIL calls DH JR and his dad calls him Jimmy...To confuse things even more, this baby will be Jimmy as well :)

  • My DH and his dad share the same name just different middle names. If we have a boy, we will be doing the same thing (same first and last and a different middle). But even with the same names, technically, it really isn't an issue for DH and his dad. Their first names are William, and his dad goes by Billy and he goes by his middle name. Oddly now a days it's so common for people to go by a nickname or their middle name that sharing a name with someone really isn't a problem! We even have a somewhat uncommon last name and there is another (completely unrelated) person in town with the same first and last name!
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  • My husband's family have had the same first name running for 5 generations, but they all have different middle names and go by their middle name. I love the idea and we are going to pass along the name to our little guy, but if you aren't sold on the idea chat with your hubby about it. Maybe you can use a variation of his name instead?
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  • image mimimimimiiii:
    Tell to your husband straight of what you thought, I think he would understand and respect you:)

    Just talk to DH about it, hopefully you two can agree on something. We find out the gender next week and if it's a boy I know this conversation is coming for us too.

  • How strongly does he feel about it?  I don't if you want to bring their opinions into it, but have your ILs ever mentioned it? 

    My husband is not a junior because his middle name is different, but he shares his first name with a few generations of men in the family. His mom always said - long before we were pregnant or even TTC - that she has no idea why they carried on the tradition and wishes they hadn't. DH respects the tradition, but we aren't continuing it. He doesn't feel connected to the name because he has never gone by it, and neither does his dad - because HIS dad did and it was confusing in the house...and so it goes on and on. 

  • Our oldest is named after my husband (and FIL actually), but both DH and DS go by their middle names.

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