Parenting

Need advice on my dad' s will

My dad and his wife have asked for my advice on structuring my dad's will .  I'm the oldest of his 5 kids . My sister and I (both married with kids) are from his first marriage . He' s still married to my step- mother, and has 3 kids with her, 2 are young adults, 1 still in HS .  At the moment there are grandkids from me, my sister and step- brother.  What is a typical structure for this type of situation?  If he died before my step- mother is it common to give her control of all his assets or give, say 20% to me, 20% to my sister and 60% to my stepmom to ultimately distribute to my 3 step- siblings?  We all get along really well, no drama or mistrust amongst us, but I've watched too many movies about fights over wills so I worry that my step- mother has  no blood allegiance to me and my sister  . 

All advice appreciated .  

Re: Need advice on my dad' s will

  • If he's okay with it, I would have it listed separately. You can have it say that your step mom is to give X amount to her kids when they reach X age so that it doesn't look awkward. Things might be all good now but you never know what might happen later.

    DH's grandmother has DH and his brother listed for X amount and the rest goes to her son (DHs dad). It's been this way for decades. She has step sons that were never put in her will. Since her dementia has worsened, the step sons have told her lies in attempt to take over and change things.

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  • We have been going through a MASSIVE mess when it comes to FIL's estate... 

    IMO, KISS method... For better or worse, the SM should be the one who gets everything to decide unless there are items that are HIGHLY prized by the two of you, however there should be some clause in there to the effect that any disagreements, 20% to each child with SM retaining property and any sale of remaining joint property assets shall be divided equally to DNA children.  Any disagreements on any household items shall go into a private auction type setting and funds distributed equally between all blood children. 

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  • Your dad should see an estate attorney.

    There are a lot of scenarios under which the estate could be distributed. Typically, a surviving spouse takes it all. If she survives him by a short period of time, she can re-write her will and distribute the estate however she chooses.

    An attorney could help them write a will that includes a trust that could be distributed after his or the surviving spouses death. Things like their home and many bank accounts are probably held as joint tenents in common which means she'd automatically get the house and savings accounts.

  • image -auntie-:

    Your dad should see an estate attorney.

    There are a lot of scenarios under which the estate could be distributed. Typically, a surviving spouse takes it all. If she survives him by a short period of time, she can re-write her will and distribute the estate however she chooses.

    An attorney could help them write a will that includes a trust that could be distributed after his or the surviving spouses death. Things like their home and many bank accounts are probably held as joint tenents in common which means she'd automatically get the house and savings accounts.

    I agree 100% with this.

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
  • Is SM a triflin' ho that wants to take his stuff, or will she share his belongings with you? If you give her everything, will she still give you sentimental and important things from him?

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                                        Tessa: 10/28/10                    Nora 8/30/12                            Reid 8/6/14
  • image -auntie-:

    Your dad should see an estate attorney.

    There are a lot of scenarios under which the estate could be distributed. Typically, a surviving spouse takes it all. If she survives him by a short period of time, she can re-write her will and distribute the estate however she chooses.

    An attorney could help them write a will that includes a trust that could be distributed after his or the surviving spouses death. Things like their home and many bank accounts are probably held as joint tenents in common which means she'd automatically get the house and savings accounts.

     Definitely this.  

  • image tammy79:
    image -auntie-:

    Your dad should see an estate attorney.

    There are a lot of scenarios under which the estate could be distributed. Typically, a surviving spouse takes it all. If she survives him by a short period of time, she can re-write her will and distribute the estate however she chooses.

    An attorney could help them write a will that includes a trust that could be distributed after his or the surviving spouses death. Things like their home and many bank accounts are probably held as joint tenents in common which means she'd automatically get the house and savings accounts.

     Definitely this.  

    this 

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  • Your dad should make an appointment with an estate attorney.  They will most likely recommend a Trust be created in his name. 
  • I can't say this strongly enough, put it into a trust, not a will. The probate with wills is a pain while trusts make it much easier and usually include important stuff like power of attorney and living will. He should seek help in setting it up. They will probably recommend the that it all goes to wife or your dad depending on who passes first (could you imagine that lose your spouse of XX years and then his kids from his first marriage come in and that 40% of the stuff in the house or from the accounts?) and then split evenly when the other passes.

    Edit: I would leave the grandkids out of it. They will inherit from you. Less hurt feelings this way if not everyone has kids or different amount of kids.

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  • image Joyce+Mike:

    Edit: I would leave the grandkids out of it. They will inherit from you. Less hurt feelings this way if not everyone has kids or different amount of kids.

    I was just going to add this. Grandkids should not be included.  


    James Sawyer 12.3.10
    Leo Richard 9.20.12 
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