Toddlers: 24 Months+

Do most of you have your parents on FB? Need help.

I am 39 years old and pregnant with our second DD. My mom has been on FB for years now and been one of my 'friends'.  She is almost 60 but insists on being called GlamMa. She has become overbearing on FB. Every time I comment on another friends page, she 'likes' my comment. If I like a store, she likes that I liked a store. I feel like she's watching every move and I have no privacy. I feel like a kid who's being policed.  If I post something, she has to like and comment. Even if it has nothing to do with her. If someone posts on my page, she has to like and comment. My DD, DH and I are all very sick and have been for over 8 days. I wrote a post and went back and forth with another friend over our situation. It wasn't a good post, but my mom 'liked' every comment. They are not comments that should be liked. Then she posts a whole statement on my wall tonight for all to see, starting with "oh daughter dear..."  Came across as condescending and made me think if this was personal and you are really worried for us, why write on my FB wall for all to see?  Shouldn't that be private?  She emails and txts all the time so it makes me think she posts for her own social self.  My mother is not easy to talk to. It all always goes back to HER.  I tell her how I'm upset, she will respond how my being upset upsets her.  Somehow I end up being the one to calm her down instead of the other way around. If I tell her I want to delete her off FB, it will be a lot of drama. I'm the one who is almost 31w pregnant, sick and on our own island with no help other than our DH. We've been going through a lot the past 2 years and I don't emotionally have it in me to put up with her drama.  But, her FB almost stalker ways is killing me!  Wwyd?  I can't just block her either because I have other cousins, etc that are on my FB and she's find out she's been blocked. I think that would be worse. Should I get rid of all family or just bite the bullet and tell her I don't want her, my only parent on my FB anymore?  I've seen teens have problems with their parents on their FB but never grown adults. I'm at a loss. 
image
Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Pregnancy Ticker

Re: Do most of you have your parents on FB? Need help.

  • I'm not sure, but have you played around with the FB privacy settings? THey have custom options and limited profile--I don't know how successful that would be, but you should technically be able to keep her as a friend, but limit what she's able to see and possibly able to do. If she notices a change and addresses it, you might just tell her you limiting what you show people as your family continues to grow? Just an idea. Sorry though, that sounds rough and that would drive me insane. 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • You can set up lists and have certain lists privy to certain things you post.  My mom is on FB because she wanted to see pictures of the kids and was having difficulty downloading them when I emailed them to her.  Luckily, she only likes all the pictures and appropriate posts.  But I do sometimes feel restricted to what I can post.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I had a friend like this.  She didn't want to be my friend IRL, but acted like BFF on Facebook- which was super weird to me.  Basically she is super annoying online. 

    So anyway, I tried deleting my account and starting over but I still let her be my friend in the new account, and tried to limit all of our mutual friends. But it still was too much, and I ended up defriending her.   I know it sounds weird, but my life is much better now. 

    So the way I see it is- delete your account altogether, start a new account with no mutual acquaintances, limit what she can see, or defriend her.   Good luck- FB is so annoying and drama filled.  I would love to get rid of it altogether except my sis will share medical info on my nephews on FB and then not call to tell me about it, so I keep it just for that reason.  Some people just don't understand how to use FB appropriately. 

  • I would look into the privacy settings.  My mom is on Facebook but rarely comments on anything.  I have a friend who is friends with her boss and has the settings set up so her boss only sees some things and not pictures she is tagged in.
    imageLilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • Thanks everyone. I'll have to take another look at the privacy settings. I'd like her to be able to see photos that have to do with our DD but not others. Last time I checked it was kind of all or nothing. I wish they had where you could check or uncheck a post to include a family group or not. Some I don't mind and others I do. And I don't like that she can see if I comment in a page or friends wall. It's none of her business most of the time. I just feel like I'm under a microscope and hate that she likes and comments on every.single.thing.I.do on FB. It's just too much.
    image
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Family drama was my #1 reason for deleting my FB account, privacy was #2 (even playing around with settings too many people knew too much about me without actually speaking to me, like artificial relationships). I miss FB for a lot of reasons, but not having it has made my life much less complicated.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Blocking her would upset her but u can restrict what she sees. So restrict what she sees...the settings on facebook can help you with that
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image lilhockeygurlMOM:
    Blocking her would upset her but u can restrict what she sees. So restrict what she sees...the settings on facebook can help you with that

    Sorry I didn't read all of it. Was having problems with the dogs.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image jolibebe:
    Thanks everyone. I'll have to take another look at the privacy settings. I'd like her to be able to see photos that have to do with our DD but not others. Last time I checked it was kind of all or nothing. I wish they had where you could check or uncheck a post to include a family group or not. Some I don't mind and others I do. And I don't like that she can see if I comment in a page or friends wall. It's none of her business most of the time. I just feel like I'm under a microscope and hate that she likes and comments on every.single.thing.I.do on FB. It's just too much.

    I'm pretty sure you can- if you add any family members that you want to have limited viewing to a particular group, you can pick which posts that group can see.  I think this also works the same for when you post pictures, so you could let them see pictures of DD that you post, but not others.....if you want them to be able to see DD pictures that other people tag you in, that might be an all or nothing scenario.

    It really does pay to take the time to put people in groups and reset the privacy settings.  I had a "stalker" too that would comment on my comments to people she didn't even know- it was really creepy.  After I put her in her own special group with limited access, I haven't had those problems!

    You can also block your mom from posting on your wall, but she'll probably realize that right away if she can see other people posting stuff.

    BabyFetus Ticker; Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Okay, I'll have to go back and play around with it again.  I tried to do this and it didn't seem to give me the option to choose what I'd like my family group to see or not.  I'll go back, I must've not read something right.  Thank you ladies, I appreciate your advice.
    image
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • There is a setting where that makes your "likes" and commenting on other peoples post show up or not show up in your friend's newsfeeds. You need to make it not show up to your friends. IMO everyone should have that set because I know I don't want to see everything my friends like or comment on either....
    DD(13),SD(12),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

  • DH & I deactivated our FB pages about the same time I became PG with DS2.  There was just too much drama & conflict & unfriending only certain people would have caused more.  Our excuse was that it was becoming a distraction & we'd rather have face time with our son (and other real people) than waste it on FB.  We get grief from a lot of people about it, but it was ultimately what was best for our growing family.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • image jolibebe:
    Okay, I'll have to go back and play around with it again.  I tried to do this and it didn't seem to give me the option to choose what I'd like my family group to see or not.  I'll go back, I must've not read something right.  Thank you ladies, I appreciate your advice.

    Make sure you're doing this from a computer, and not a phone or tablet. The "app" versions of FB are much more limited in what they can do than the web based version. Once you get to the web, you have a lot more options on limiting people. GL!

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards