So I'm the type of person that's always putting on a brave front.. "I'm fine". Other than completely being a complete mess while going through the process of having my mmc confirmed by u/s and completed, I've been doing really well. (I was an emotional rollercoaster because the process was drug out over a week and I just wanted it over).
Anyway, I've been strong and brave, but I need to vent....
I'm angry that on my BMB everyone complained and whined about everything under the sun and how hard it was to be pg... blah, blah, blah, while I remained silent (and annoyed) because I was just happy to be pg. I'm pissed that I had to lose my baby, when I clearly had things in perspective. Appreciate what you have... well I did, no lesson to be learned there.
I'm also annoyed that my mc went undiscovered until week 12... that was the week we were supposed to be in the clear, and it's just unfair. Saw a hb at 6 weeks, had no cramping or anything, so it seemed like smooth sailing. Still, I am cautious and superstitious, almost obsessively so, so I tried not to make any assumptions about the baby sticking until then. Week 12 I figured I was in the clear because of the whole odds thing, and ordered maternity clothes. Great. Now they keep showing up and I have to hide them away in my basement so I don't have to look at them.
Andplusalso, now I'm spotting again, so who knows if I am going to O this month (pregnancy tests are now showing up negative) or when AF is going to show. My cycles were long and irregular to start with, so now I have nothing to go on. I am charting, but I'm such a sucky sleeper that I don't know if my temps are ok or not.
I am an optimist at heart. I always look on the bright side of things, and it helps me to cope. I try not to stay angry, vent much or even be overly negative about things, but I'm really annoyed that this had to happen. I know life isn't fair... but seriously!