Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Feel alone

I feel so alone in this situation. I have called the er multiple times and my obgyn. The only answer I can get is there is nothing that we can do. This doesn't help my emotions any. I have had two perfectly healthy pregnancies. I want to know why, if I have actually miscarried, be compassionate. I am an nurse myself and there is nothing that makes me more upset than somebody in the medical profession that acts like they don't care. You have seen patients in the same situation that I am in with probably somewhat the same emotions. Be supportive. Do something.

Re: Feel alone

  • I'm sorry that you feel alone and for your loss.

    What are you calling the ER and OBGYN for? Do you need medical help or are you just calling to ask them why you miscarried?

    If you are asking them why you miscarried, unfortunately I don't think you will get any answers. First miscarriages are almost NEVER investigated and if you already have had two healthy pregnancies they are probably even less concerned about a "problem". I don't know how far along you were, but most first tri miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities...nothing you can prevent or cause. Since chromosomal abnormalities are so common, doctors just chalk up most first-time, first tri miscarriages to them.

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how tough it is not to have a concrete answer.

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  • I just want them to do something to try and find out if I miscarried for sure. I was at the ER Thursday night all they did was drAw hcg levels nothing else. No ultrasound to see if they could see anything, no exam to see if my cervix was dilated. I just want to know for sure and not be questioning every time something changes.
  • Why do you think you miscarried?

    What were you hcg numbers? Did they tell you?

    ETA: I just read your previous post about spotting and passing tissue. The reason they aren't doing anything is because you were under 6 weeks pregnant. They are probably just letting everything play out naturally and they'll probably have you back in a week or so to check.

    I'm sorry you're going through this.

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  • image femmepink:

    Why do you think you miscarried?

    What were you hcg numbers? Did they tell you?

    ETA: I just read your previous post about spotting and passing tissue. The reason they aren't doing anything is because you were under 6 weeks pregnant. They are probably just letting everything play out naturally and they'll probably have you back in a week or so to check.

    I'm sorry you're going through this.

    This. There isn't much to see at 5 weeks, so drawing betas (and repeating them in a couple days to see if they go up or down) and making sure there's no excessive bleeding is about all that can be done.

    I know it sucks to be in limbo and you want answers right away, but unfortunately sometimes we have to wait. You are not alone in this experience though; many who have losses spent weeks waiting and wondering and hoping to just get confirmation one way or another. Try to relax (easier said than done) and hang in there. 

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  • I received a card in the mail yesterday and had no clue who it was from....when I opened it it was from the billing lady from the night I went into the ER for my miscarriage. She had to come into my room after we were given our sad news that the baby had no heartbeat. I of course was still crying and had to give her some info before we could leave. She tried comforting me and telling me how she miscarried her first pregnancy and now has 4 beautiful children....well she never got to tell me her whole story so she sent me a get well card and a story to help comfort me. It was so sweet and she said she was praying for us. It restored my faith in humanity and she will never know how much it meant. 
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  • image babyfox22:
    I received a card in the mail yesterday and had no clue who it was from....when I opened it it was from the billing lady from the night I went into the ER for my miscarriage. She had to come into my room after we were given our sad news that the baby had no heartbeat. I of course was still crying and had to give her some info before we could leave. She tried comforting me and telling me how she miscarried her first pregnancy and now has 4 beautiful children....well she never got to tell me her whole story so she sent me a get well card and a story to help comfort me. It was so sweet and she said she was praying for us. It restored my faith in humanity and she will never know how much it meant. 
    Love this! Healing comes through all sorts of people we meet along the way! 

    OP I am sorry you are going through this. I have been there, I spent a week waiting to see if I would miscarry or have a viable pregnancy. The only reason It was a week and not longer was because I miscarried on my own. 


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  • I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way :( The waiting game is a true test of our patience...waiting to hear back from doctors, waiting on test results, waiting on m/c....none of it is fun, and certainly not fair.
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  • I'm sorry for your frustration. The blood draws should help give you information. It might not be definitive but it should start to answer your questions. I can relate to your situation. It took a week from when I started spotting until I got any information. (4 days to even get a blood draw to start the ball rolling).

    50 percent of pregnancies with some early bleeding do not end in miscarriage. I hope for your sake you are in that group and hear good news soon. Take care of yourself.

  • I'm sorry you are feeling alone.

    Did both your OB and the ER draw your HCG? Those numbers will be able to give you an idea what is going on. Are you calling to ask what the numbers show and they aren't giving you answers?

    When I had my first miscarriage, my OB never called me about the first beta draw or the 2nd one they did 48 hours later. It was about a week after the first draw that I had an appointment with her and found out the numbers weren't good. 

    Unfortunately with early first tri miscarriages, there really isn't much anyone can do. It's all a waiting game to see how the pregnancy pans out. 


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