October 2012 Moms

Who doesn't feel guilty about working?

Who doesn't feel guilty about working?

 

I feel so bad for everyone who wishes they could be a SAHM but can't, yet I don't relate. We could fairly easily afford for one of us to SAH (we would have to cut extras like maxing our retirement, nice vacations, and cleaning service though), but both of us working feels best for our family. It helps that we both have 40 hour a week jobs with only occasional overtime and short commutes.

The only thing I really dislike about working so far is pumping. I would rather be able to nurse my baby in person... otherwise I've been fine. Probably helps I also had a working mom who had to return to work when I was 6 weeks old. 

DD 9/15/12

Re: Who doesn't feel guilty about working?

  • Well I haven't gone back yet, but I currently have no desire to SAH.  I love my job and am already going nuts being home all day.  My baby is even fun sometimes now instead of crying nonstop, and I still can't wait to go back to work.  I will miss her, but being a SAHM is definitely not for me.
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  • My mom went back to work at 6 weeks too, and very few of my friends growing up had SAHMs.  I didn't meet one until HS and I remember asking her, "what do you do all day?". Now I know better, but I still can't imagine it.
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  • I love being home with him, but I would not want to be a SAHM. I cant do it. I hate being a "hours wife" cleaning, cooking, ect. I'm no good at it. I will only be working three days a week, but will be at school for 4 hours the other 2 days. Honestly I'm excited to focus on something other than DS. I will miss him, but will love my time away.
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  • I could only SAH willingly if we had enough money to have a regular mother's helper - like at least 10 hours a week. 

    My mom did primarily SAH when I was about 3-9 years old but she was also an Army Reservist. Honestly since I'm not a huge baby person that sounds a lot more appealing to me. 

    DD 9/15/12
  • Raises hand! I would lose my mind as a SAHM, which is good because I can't afford to! The first day I got to go back as a teacher's assistant, I was clickin my heels and had the best commute ever. Any time I'm at work or working on my thesis away from the nugget I feel free, but then start to miss him on the way home. It's healthy to be away, I think. It also helps to have a super competent SO who has already raised a baby.
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  • Me! Me! I love working. It's my break from the kids. I get to go home and miss being with them. And even though I'm tired when I get home it's like I'm reenergized when I see them!
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  • I don't feel guilty. I love the field I am in and I'm looking forward to starting with a new agency that is closer to home and has regular hours. I do kinda wish I could do part time but I feel like my time away from DS allows me to recharge my mommy batteries and I better appreciate our time together.
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  • I don't feel guilty about becoming a working mom (I go back Jan 14), but I will be honest, I wish I had a full time paying part time job! Haha.

    My mom was a teacher, so she was home w me all summer and home by 4. I don't usually get home til 6 and only get 3 weeks off a year, so my time with my kid(s) will be significantly less. I do feel guilty when I would pass a soccer/baseball game on my way home from work and would think 'I'll never make it to take my kids to games, I'll be lucky if I can catch the very end of a game'. That, I do feel guilty about.

    But as far as sahm full time permanantly? No. Part time permanantly? Absolutely. I feel like one of the reasons I haven't been sleeping well at night is bc my mind isn't as stimulated during the day, so it's just not as tired at night!
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  • I'm glad you posted this because I thought I was the only one looking forward to going back to work and was feeling guilty about it. The only reason I'm not is he's not anywhere close to sttn, unless he's sleeping on my chest which is what I do when I'm desperate for sleep. I also have a long commute and get to work at 7am so I'm nervous how I'm going to handle it!
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  • I was soooo ready to go back to work after I had my first child. I went back at 6 weeks pp and wouldn't have changed anything.

    This time around, I had absolutely no desire to go back. I am now a SAHM. 

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  • I've always been the same way. Until now. We could swing it but we are trying really hard to get out of debt. And since most of it is my student loan, I've gotta work. I don't feel guilty, I would just prefer to be at home. 
  • I don't feel guilty about working, but would love to be a SAHM if it wouldn't cut our household income in half. However, me working is what we have to do to provide her with the life we want to give her. No guilt in that. I imagine she'll be a working mom herself one day. I look forward to the evenings coming home and cuddling with her, and know I will value that time so much. 
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  • I guess I am in a unique position so i don't feel guilty. I work as a fundraiser for a non profit community center so D will be coming to work with me! His daycare is just steps away from my office and I can visit throughout the day. If we want to sell our coop and buy a house so he can go to great schools and have a big backyard I need to work! So it's good for everyone!
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  • Ill admit I thought I would be way more excited to go back. Ill miss my baby and I truly don't think anyone, even dh, can care for him the way I do but it's time.

    I'm excited to hit some financial goals this year and ill be hustling for a raise. Having C makes me want to have our forever home now so I'm angling for putting down a significant chunk of change on a bigger house in the next two years
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  • image Starry Again:

    The only thing I really dislike about working so far is pumping. I would rather be able to nurse my baby in person... otherwise I've been fine. Probably helps I also had a working mom who had to return to work when I was 6 weeks old. 

    This.  We do need both incomes but we can swing me working part-time for at least the next 6 months.  So I went back to work after 4 weeks and even at less than 30hours, it's tough, but I love it.  Like Starry, I absolutely LOATH pumping and trying to keep up the supply with his feeding demands, especially since my job is so busy that I don't get that much time to pump.

    I actually feel sort of guilty for NOT looking forward to the days I stay home all day with LO.  Don't get me wrong - I love him but DH works from home and holds a lot of teleconferences.  Our condo is tiny so I am confined to one little room which is not set up really well for things like nursing.  And I have not been able to take him out that much since it has been cold and everywhere inside has been crowded.  Now that he's got his shots and hopefully the crowd dies down after the holidays, hopefully I can get out more on the days I am home with him.

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  • Thank you for posting this! I am so excited to go back to work and I don't think anyone IRL believes me. I spend all day feeding L and trying to get him to sleep somewhere other than on me so I can get stuff done around the apt. I miss adult interaction, ESP bc on most days I have to go to bed as soon as DH is home. I miss my coworkers too! Two more months and then I am back so just taking it one day at a time and appreciating the small moments with L.
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  • i have not returned yet but I never had any intentions on SAH.

    I want a 3 or 4 day work week(30 hours) and will do that once I go back and I plan on coming on changing schedule 730a- 3p I work in healthcare so it shouldn't be a problem.

    Hubby is going to stay home with B thru March when I go back and will start DC after  

    I complain a lot about wanting a new job but right now its the perfect set up since I live less than 5 mins to work. I am still waiting for offers though

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  • I'm going back at 4 months pp to a new position (promotion) this is weird for a lot of canadians to do because we get 12 months with half our pay but it's going to work out better for my family and H is going to stay home for the remaining 8 months. He gets a top up so why not? Lots of people like to tell me "how crazy I must be to wanna go back so soon" ... drives me nuts. being a SAHM is sooo not for me.

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