Parenting after a Loss

MIL and Peppermint *Updated with a thank you at the end*

I've been MIA for a few days - and I'm sure it'll be even worse since starting from today till Tuesday evening, we'll be driving all over MN for extended family holiday celebrations, and them meeting DS for the first time . . . 

So here's my beef, that I only have ten minutes to share, before DS wakes up again:

Because DS has been dealing with gas, he's been waking up from his naps during the day (but actually sleeping five hours at night - woo-hoo!).  Anyways, she arrived, and between her and DH I figured, "Eh, take an hour nap?"

I wake up (and hour and a half later) with DH beside me (he got tired too), and come out to my MIL feeding my DS five ounces of pink stuff.  I ask what it was, and she says "Peppermint for his stomach." (thankfully he only ate an ounce of the diluted water).

Here's my two-part beef.  One, I don't want MIL medicating him without checking in with either of us first (I know it's homeopathic, but still . . . ), and two, I read peppermint is bad because of the menthol within it (though I don't know what - if any - the levels are for candy canes, which is what she used).  I got so upset (but tried to hide it from MIL), that I started crying in my room.  I watched him for as long as I could (till 3 AM) before finally passing out, and even then, woke up, scared to death that something was wrong.

And it didn't work anyway, because he woke up straining this morning.  So all that for nothing!

Am I freaking out for nothing?  Or am I just super sensitive bc of being a PAL? (and wanting nothing to go in that even has a *slight* possibility of being harmful??)

Rant over. 

______________________________________________________

BFP #1 06.20.11 I EDD 03.22.12 I MMC 09.01.11 (baby measured 6w4d) I D&C 09.07.11
BFP #2 02.21.12 I EDD 10.29.12 I DS born 11.06.12

Surprise BFP #3 07.27.13 I EDD 04.02.14 I Stick baby stick!
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Re: MIL and Peppermint *Updated with a thank you at the end*

  • Your MIL was over the line.  Even if it was tylenol....she should have asked you 1st.  I think MILs in general tend to be over the line because they think they know best.  I've had similar things happen this past year-so I feel your pain.  It's not PAL-she was over the line.
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    TTC January 2010

    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13


  • She was absolutely over the line. Even if she meant well, etc, that's not OK. Can your DH be helpful here with setting limits? I'm sorry you're dealing with this, I would have been super upset too!
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  • Yeah I would have flipped the F out on her. No way would I have hid how I felt. Without sugar coating it, I would have told her that I cannot believe she gave my 1 month old something without asking me first. He is not her child and she does not get to make these decisions. Then I would never leave my child alone with her. And if she asked why, I would tell her because she has proven that she cannot be trusted.

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  • I would have freaked out.  What she did was not ok, regardless of the peppermint, babies dont need - and shouldn't have - any water at all.

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  • If anyone fed my baby anything without my permission, I'd be vivid. That's completely not okay.
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  • image CabbageCabbage:
    If anyone fed my baby anything without my permission, I'd be vivid. That's completely not okay.
    ditto

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  • We used peppermint water quite a bit in the first four months.  It actually helped DS quite a bit with his colic and gas issues.  However, we also fed him maybe a 1/4 to 1/2 of a teaspoon of it at a time.  We did this based on his pediatrician's recommendation of things to try to help with colic.  That being said, WE fed him this.  "WE" meaning DH and I.  Noone else in the family fed him anything other than BM from a bottle.  To me, the issue here is not that he was fed peppermint water, but really that your MIL took everything upon herself and ignored your wishes entirely.  If you haven't set boundaries, you need to PDQ.  She shouldn't be giving your child ANYTHING you haven't previously approved of.  
    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
  • image RachaelA:
    Yeah I would have flipped the F out on her. No way would I have hid how I felt. Without sugar coating it, I would have told her that I cannot believe she gave my 1 month old something without asking me first. He is not her child and she does not get to make these decisions. Then I would never leave my child alone with her. And if she asked why, I would tell her because she has proven that she cannot be trusted.


    All of this.
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  • I would have flipped my sh*t.
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  • image RachaelA:
    Yeah I would have flipped the F out on her. No way would I have hid how I felt. Without sugar coating it, I would have told her that I cannot believe she gave my 1 month old something without asking me first. He is not her child and she does not get to make these decisions. Then I would never leave my child alone with her. And if she asked why, I would tell her because she has proven that she cannot be trusted.


    Ditto all of this.

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  • Omigosh, you are NOT overreacting. She absolutely should have asked you first. That would have made me lose my ***.
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  • I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded.  Just because you are offended, doesn't mean you're right, so I really didn't know if I was overreacting . . . so I definitely appreciate the reassurance :)

    MIL is heading back out of state, the day after Christmas, and we're only seeing her once more on Christmas Day with the rest of the family - so we'll wait to say something till after the holidays, seeing as she won't be alone with him again before she leaves (and we don't want to ruin the holidays for her): but we WILL be saying something, because even my husband was concerned!

    ______________________________________________________

    BFP #1 06.20.11 I EDD 03.22.12 I MMC 09.01.11 (baby measured 6w4d) I D&C 09.07.11
    BFP #2 02.21.12 I EDD 10.29.12 I DS born 11.06.12

    Surprise BFP #3 07.27.13 I EDD 04.02.14 I Stick baby stick!
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    ** I'm hopping all over boards these days, please @quote me for speedy replies :) **

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