My family thought it would be a good idea to try to work things out amicably between baby daddy and I rather than going through the court system. I knew this was a bad idea but I decided to try it first.
This is what came of it:
1. he created an "agreement" that he says I agreed to. In it he said he wanted 50/50 custody after the baby is 1 yr old. He has unlimited access to the baby and I have to be at his disposal at all times. I can't go anywhere/do anything without his consent and he must be in agreement. Child support would be deposited into a bank account that he controls, with an amount that he designated, he would give me an atm card and I would share with him everything that I use for the baby. His sister also gets full custody if anything happens to him.
2. I never agreed to any of the above. I also spent almost 2 months waiting for him to respond to my lawyer so that we could all sit together in mediation. None of this happened.
3. When he heard that I did not agree to anything he accused me of caring only about money and placed a stop payment on his child support check. He never told me this and instead I incurred a fee because of this. It has been 2 months since he has provided any financial support for the baby and I won't ask for it because he has accused me of being money hungry since I got pregnant. Now he wants me to simply email him with everything she needs on a daily basis (diapers and food).
I've wasted almost 5k on lawyer fees because of all the run around that he's put me through these past few months. I'm done with trying to be nice (stupid in fact) because in the end I was only accused of wanting money and it seems he won't do anything his lawyer recommends (his lawyer mentioned this to mine). Now I have to come up with another 5 k in order to file for support through the court and finally go through the court for custody (which he has threatened me with throughout my entire pregnancy and even now. He wants to seek full custody and then 50/50 depending on his mood that day).
I'm sick to my stomach with all of this. I even asked him to sign his rights away when I was pregnant so that I could prove to him that I wasn't out for his money. I've done everything on my own and never asked him for a penny even though he makes 3x more than I do. My lawyer says that the reason he wants any form of custody is because he would have to pay less support. If I saw that he was a dedicated dad then I would gladly share custody with him. However, he refuses to change baby's diaper, feed her or do anything but hold her once in a while and then hands her back when either of the aforementioned must be done.
I can't raise the money right away and I know (according to my lawyer) that letting more time go is a bad idea. However, I can't work, pay the mortgage and provide for my baby and somehow come up with several thousand.
I guess I'm just venting.. I feel so alone.. Please tell me that it gets better.