Hello ladies! I haven't posted here in so long, my life has changed so much since I have. I got married this past August and am now expecting a baby with hubby. I am posting on this board because I used to be a single parent until this year and I know somebody has probably gone through this or can give me some advice on what to do?
A little history might help..I call him "sperm donor" so SD...He walked out of our lives when Cadance was 2 months old. Him or his family has nothing to do with us. We even tried to set up a meeting because I heard from a bunch of people that he was running his mouth saying I wouldn't let him see her..That was over 3 yrs ago. So I try to set up a date where he could see her and he turned it down because supposedly, he didn't want to have to come in contact with me or my Mom, who I was living with during the whole pregnancy and up until 2 yrs ago. OK, he has a son with another woman who I was in contact with on FB, texts, because I wanted Cadance and her brother to have some sort of relationship. So she brought him to her 1st birthday party (almost 3 yrs ago). I texted her and asked if we could get the kids together to get a portrait done, her replying, sure, let me check my schedule and never hearing back from her again! So that went on for about another year and there was never a pic done of them. I gave up trying to get together and deleted her and anybody I really didn't talk to on my FB account.
Well back in March around her 3rd birthday, her 1/2 brother's Mom contacted my Mom on FB and said that he was really wanting to see her on her birthday, how sad he was when he woke up and he had saved a giftcard he had gotten last Christmas to buy her something. She asked Mom what she was into and said she would get this Dora thing..Haven't heard from her since! Cadance and I were at a store not too long ago and saw SD's dad, which would be her grandpa and he saw us too and just passed us by! OMG! I was livid! OK..So she wrote my Mom the other day again on FB saying that he wanted to see his sissy...
In my eyes, Cadance knows about brothers and sisters etc and I think it would be confusing to her to meet up with him and say..oh, this is your brother (if it ever happens again due to the fact that she writes my Mom and never follows through). My husband has been the only father she has ever known since 9 months of age. Im just on the fence here. I don't want her in the future finding out she has a brother and then wondering why she never saw him? Should I just wait and see if his Mom ever writes back and then maybe meet somewhere with Cadance? I don't want to confuse my daughter..I just don't know what to do?!
On another note, I remember posting here a few years back about child support, well thats STILL a big fat JOKE! We have court dates 2-3x per year and he makes a 'token' payment of $25 to keep his arse out of jail I guess. I know he is working because I have a fake FB page to look at his and it just burns me up to know he is working and only paying about 75-100 per year. Right now, I think the total he owes in back support is around 17,000. He was ordered to pay $300 per month in 2009..what a joke!