Babies: 3 - 6 Months

SO ANGRY! WWYD?

I'm mostly a lurker but I was wanted to get your feedback and what would you do in this situation? So I just started my LO in day care. He has been there for 2 weeks now. Apparently, there is another boy in my LO's class that has the same name and initials, although he has a different last name. Today, I found out that the day care had been giving my milk (formula) to the other child. While feeding my baby breast milk that was brought in by the other child's mother. Basically, my child has been eating for 2 weeks straight some strange woman's breast milk. WTF? I'm soooooo angry right now and am unsure about what to do...I had to leave daycare and basically told them that I needed to calm down first before talking with them.How would you feel and what would you do? 

Re: SO ANGRY! WWYD?

  • I a so sorry that this happened to you! I think you would need to figure out if you want to stay there any longer? Do you want them to offer you a discount? Ask them how this can be prevented in the future? I would feel so terrible! And be mad as well, but whats done is done and now you need to figure out what would make you feel better going forward...

    The center my son is in has baskets in the fridge color coded and labeled with first and last names, then all the food inside is for my son, and each bottle has to be labeled with the childs name and the date of the milk, maybe they could do something like this to help in the future.

    Its good you walked away to cool off, cooler heads always prevail. Good luck! I hope you can work it out!


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  • Wow. I would be very upset especially since its been going on for two weeks! I would understand the initial mistake for the first day or so but to go on that way for so long would make me question your daycare and how aware they are when it comes to running a daycare. I would also be upset if I were the other mom with the baby that was receiving your formula bottles. It was very wise of you to step away and not say anything while you are this upset.
  • How would I feel? I would be as upset as you are. He'll, I felt my blood boil just reading this and it's not my child. I would be so upset. I am sure the other mother is too!

    First of all, I would want to know how they plan to update their policy and procedures of doing things so this does not happen again to you or any other child. Realistically, they should pay for testing to make sure the other women does not have any diseases or anything else that might be of a concern. Although, maybe a phone call and conversation with this other mom might help ease things a bit. She is probably just as pissed. I feel like they should compensate you in some way too if you plan on stay there. I don't know what might be appropriate in this case.

    I am sure there are other Mother's on here that will have some good input! I am so sorry this happened to you.
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  • Heads would roll.  If they're a chain or franchise corporate needs to know.  I would be so angry (as either parent).  I can't imagine anything they would say where I would be able to bring my child back there.

    From the medical side you need to talk to your pedi - find out what could possibly be transferred via bm (I'm thinking things like hepatitis) and the DC needs to pay for any and all testing you need to do on your LO.   

    It should also be reported to the state licencing.   


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  • Imagine how the other mom feels too. I would calmly ask that they pay for testing to make sure no diseases were presrnt, and ask how they plan to prevent this from happening in the future.
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  • Wow, I get mad just reading this! But like a pp said, be calm about it when talking with the daycare (I would have trouble being calm!). They need to do everything in their power to fix this. I'm sorry this happened to all children/parents involved :(

     

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  • image EMO-mamma:

    Heads would roll.  If they're a chain or franchise corporate needs to know.  I would be so angry (as either parent).  I can't imagine anything they would say where I would be able to bring my child back there.

    From the medical side you need to talk to your pedi - find out what could possibly be transferred via bm (I'm thinking things like hepatitis) and the DC needs to pay for any and all testing you need to do on your LO.   

    It should also be reported to the state licencing.   

    This. And honestly, I'd put my LO in another daycare. 

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  • Considering BM is treated as a bodily fluid (gloves used while feeding, double checking names, etc) at my son's DC I'd be furious that such a mistake was possible. Not only would I worry about all the things that could be transfered via BM but what about food allergies your child might have, if the other mother drinks at all or takes medication, this things would be transfered via the BM as well. I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. I can imagine your anger, I was upset the time my son came home in another child's diaper (they are labeled with their names), wondering what other things have been swapped and if they thought my son was that child. 

    I'd also report it to the office that gives daycare their licenses, they need to know. If it happened once, that's one thing, not excusable but still, but for TWO WEEKS, unreal!

    I'd be looking for a new daycare.  

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  • I honestly cannot believe this. This is ridiculous. I would be just as pissed as you are. I would def call corporate and licensing and I would def make them pay for testing ASAP. I would not stay at that daycare, even if they payed for a year for free. That's TERRIBLE. It's not a lighthearted mistake. I am so sorry this happened to you!
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  • image EMOmamma:
    Heads would roll. nbsp;If they're a chain or franchise corporate needs to know. nbsp;I would be so angry as either parent. nbsp;I can't imagine anything they would say where I would be able to bring my child back there.From the medical side you need to talk to your pedi find out what couldnbsp;possiblynbsp;benbsp;transferrednbsp;via bm I'm thinking things likenbsp;hepatitis and the DC needs to pay for any and all testing you need to do on your LO. nbsp;nbsp;It should also be reported to the state licencing. nbsp;nbsp;


    This. My first thought was...you don't know this other mother and she could be passing something to your baby. DC should pay for testing! And if I was the other mom, I'd be pissed too.
  • This is completely unacceptable. If someone is running a daycare, a place where they care for small children and babies who can pick up illnesses so quickly and suffer severly, they need to actually be paying attention to what they're doing. Honestly, my first thought wasn't "oh the other mother!" or anything else, my first thought is: this is the mistake they're owning up to. If they're careless enough to do this, what mistakes are they not owning up to? This needs to be reported to some authority IMMEDIATELY. Honestly, knowing that they made this mistake and not taking it to some higher power is just putting all the other children at risk. Talk with the other mother, get her on board, and stop this daycare. They should not be responsible for children if they can't get something as simple and important as who's-milk-is-this right.

     Sorry if that sounded preachy, that just blew my mind. And absolutely test the mom, test your baby, make sure everyone's okay. I hope this all works out for you!!!

  • image EMO-mamma:

    Heads would roll.  If they're a chain or franchise corporate needs to know.  I would be so angry (as either parent).  I can't imagine anything they would say where I would be able to bring my child back there.

    From the medical side you need to talk to your pedi - find out what could possibly be transferred via bm (I'm thinking things like hepatitis) and the DC needs to pay for any and all testing you need to do on your LO.   

    It should also be reported to the state licencing.   

    All of this. I'd be furious.  

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  • I think talking to your ped and the other mother are up next. Then you can talk to the center. I think it is good that they told you about the mistake. It shows something that they owned up to it. People do share BM and it works out okay. Hopefully this will too.
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  • I've worked in daycare. This happened ONE time at my center, there was a sub teacher in that room, and the two babies had the same bottles. She set the bottles next to each other, and accidentally picked up the wrong one. Each were on BM. She lost her job. There is NO excuse for something like this.
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  • image EMO-mamma:

    Heads would roll.  If they're a chain or franchise corporate needs to know.  I would be so angry (as either parent).  I can't imagine anything they would say where I would be able to bring my child back there.

    From the medical side you need to talk to your pedi - find out what could possibly be transferred via bm (I'm thinking things like hepatitis) and the DC needs to pay for any and all testing you need to do on your LO.   

    It should also be reported to the state licencing.   

    Yep this - a lot of things can get transferred due to breast milk... your LO should probably be tested.

     

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  • All of the above- I am angry just thinking about it.

    Foremost I would get in contact with the other mom. Obviously she is just as upset and scared as you are- you are the "other unknown mom" who could have transmitted something to her baby, so a chat might put you both a bit more at ease. After you contact the state licensing board you might want to go to a place like angieslist and report what happened. Mistakes can happen to anyone, but this was absolutely egregious, and reporting it to future potential users of the center can help them make an informed choice over whether or not they want their baby in such a place.

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  • I agree with the PPs about talking to the other mother. I am sure she would be more than forthcoming and agreeable with that approach. Because of HIPA restrictions, you cannot compel her or her bodily fluids (breast milk) to undergo testing and reveal any results to you.

    I read an article about this happening in a hospital, with a one mother breastfeeding someone else's newborn (because the nurse brought her the wrong baby from the nursery). The mother of the wrongly breastfed baby was furious, of course, and was attempting to litigate the situation, suggesting the breastfeeding mother could have any manner of diseases passed through her breast milk. The breast feeding mother refused to release her medical records.

    My point is, if any of us were the breast feeding mother in this situation, we would be highly offended to be accused of using drugs, drinking while breast feeding, and being disease ridden. I know I might refuse to undergo testing. However, if you can approach the mother in a more humble light, you might be able to confirm the safety of breast milk for your baby. 

    Another note that might reassure you, breast milk is not a toxic substance to any baby but your own. Wet nurses have been around for millennia. Now, we can even look at donating our breast milk.

    If I were that breast feeding mother in your situation, I would be really angry that my baby was fed formula, knowing it could expose my baby to many allergens. And I would also feel violated/humiliated that my own breast milk was used for another baby without my knowledge and offending another mother in the process. I think you need to get this other mother on your team--you have both been hurt in this mistake, but you can help one another mitigate the damage.

     

  • I would be livid, either way. A bf child got formula and a formula fed child got somebody else's bm, which basically is a bodily fluid. I don't want my child getting somebody else's bodily fluid or their formula for that matter. It could make my child sick. I don't understand your daycare's policies. Our child's full name has to be on the bottle and in the fridge, she has her name where we put her bottles. I would be talking about their policies and probably wouldn't come back.
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  • If I were in your shoes or the other mother's shoes, I would be angry either way.

    Here's what the CDC says to do (sorry it's not clicky, I'm on Chrome and don't feel like opening IE) http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/recommendations/other_mothers_milk.htm

  • image Jessica Swanlake:

    All of the above- I am angry just thinking about it.

    Foremost I would get in contact with the other mom. Obviously she is just as upset and scared as you are- you are the "other unknown mom" who could have transmitted something to her baby, so a chat might put you both a bit more at ease. After you contact the state licensing board you might want to go to a place like angieslist and report what happened. Mistakes can happen to anyone, but this was absolutely egregious, and reporting it to future potential users of the center can help them make an informed choice over whether or not they want their baby in such a place.

    The school doesnt want me contacting the other mother yet as the school has not informed her yet. The other family is on holiday as they put it and they are waiting for them to return in Jan 2013...I'm so pissed. I dont know what to do.  I spoke to 1 other mother that I met and told her about it. She said that she'd be concerned as she knows the other mother is a smoker!!!!  I'm furious and have to keep my mouth shut til Jan...What about my family vacation? It's ruined! I need to look into talking to an attorney. 

  • image mabenner1:
    Imagine how the other mom feels too. I would calmly ask that they pay for testing to make sure no diseases were presrnt, and ask how they plan to prevent this from happening in the future.

    This. Both children need to be tested.

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  • image MuddyInsignia:

    If I were that breast feeding mother in your situation, I would be really angry that my baby was fed formula, knowing it could expose my baby to many allergens. And I would also feel violated/humiliated that my own breast milk was used for another baby without my knowledge and offending another mother in the process. I think you need to get this other mother on your team--you have both been hurt in this mistake, but you can help one another mitigate the damage.

     

    This.  I'd be equally livid if I found out that the milk I spent hours pumping and storing for my baby had been given to another baby, while my baby drank formula. 

    I'm surprised that they said they are not contacting the other mother until she returns from her holiday.  If I were her, I'd want to know immediately so that I'd have time to look for another daycare center before returning home.

     What a terrible situation all around.  The fact that they say she's a smoker makes it even worse.  I'd avoid taking LO back if possible, and would request a refund. 

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  • I definitely don't want to sue...However, I wanted to get some legal advice. I contacted the pedi and he doesn't seemed concerned. He even made a joke about it and said, " at least he got some breastmilk." Ugh, WTF? Anyway, his point was that DS had been given the milk for 2 weeks now and he seems ok...He's only concern is if the mother is HIV pos. And that was his only concern. My DH is dealing with the center and we are hoping to get in contact with the other mother today.  
  • Yikes - that would make me SO MAD!!
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  • I am SHOCKED!  Breat milk is bodily fluid. Your LO needs to be tested for HIV, Hep C and a number of communicable diseases. That would be my first concern.  Hopefully, a mother with any of these would not be breastfeeding, but you never know...she could not even know she had them.  And what if this other mother was on medication? What if she drank? I just can NOT believe this. 

    I usually laugh on these boards when people talk about going to see a lawyer over some b.s. complaint, but this is one instance where I would not roll my eyes if you considered it.  This is horrible. At a minimum, they need to pay for all medical testing.  And they definately need to be reported to whatever board/organization in your state oversees childcare facilities.  Frankly, this place sounds like it needs to be shut down. And if I were you,  I would want to talk to the owner, too.   

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  • image EMO-mamma:

    Heads would roll.  If they're a chain or franchise corporate needs to know.  I would be so angry (as either parent).  I can't imagine anything they would say where I would be able to bring my child back there.

    From the medical side you need to talk to your pedi - find out what could possibly be transferred via bm (I'm thinking things like hepatitis) and the DC needs to pay for any and all testing you need to do on your LO.   

    It should also be reported to the state licencing.   

    This.
  • image cameron2424:
    image Jessica Swanlake:

    All of the above- I am angry just thinking about it.

    Foremost I would get in contact with the other mom. Obviously she is just as upset and scared as you are- you are the "other unknown mom" who could have transmitted something to her baby, so a chat might put you both a bit more at ease. After you contact the state licensing board you might want to go to a place like angieslist and report what happened. Mistakes can happen to anyone, but this was absolutely egregious, and reporting it to future potential users of the center can help them make an informed choice over whether or not they want their baby in such a place.

    The school doesnt want me contacting the other mother yet as the school has not informed her yet. The other family is on holiday as they put it and they are waiting for them to return in Jan 2013...I'm so pissed. I dont know what to do.  I spoke to 1 other mother that I met and told her about it. She said that she'd be concerned as she knows the other mother is a smoker!!!!  I'm furious and have to keep my mouth shut til Jan...What about my family vacation? It's ruined! I need to look into talking to an attorney. 

    Surprise

    eta: sorry, my shock kept me from writing an actual response.

    I don't think they get to have an opinion about when the other mother is told. I also think the person who did this should be fired, that they should pay for any testing that needs to be done and the they should all be reported to relevent authorities.

    I find it appalling that they're not bending over backwards to apologize and make amends.

  • I'd be more pissed if I was the other mom.  I pump and pump to make sure DD gets breastmilk and not formula.  If I was in your situation, I'd be annoyed because the daycare is obviously not as detail oriented as they should be.  But I wouldn't be pissed that my kid was getting breastmilk instead of formula.

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  • image cameron2424:
    I definitely don't want to sue...However, I wanted to get some legal advice. I contacted the pedi and he doesn't seemed concerned. He even made a joke about it and said, " at least he got some breastmilk." Ugh, WTF? Anyway, his point was that DS had been given the milk for 2 weeks now and he seems ok...He's only concern is if the mother is HIV pos. And that was his only concern. My DH is dealing with the center and we are hoping to get in contact with the other mother today.  

    Obviously your pediatrician with a medical degree doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. As for the other mom being HIV positive, I was under the impression that most OBGYN's test for this during pregnancy. If that's the case, I don't see why an HIV positive mother would choose to breastfeed her child.

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