My cousin is 8 yrs younger than me. She has one son who is 3.5. She has been trying on her own for about 2 yrs at least. A couple years ago I referred her to my RE and to the 2IF board for support, but she never took me up on it. She finally went to an RE at a different clinic in town earlier this year. We were comparing notes this summer on where we were in our struggles/meds. She has a completely blocked tube, a shriveled ovary, and the other tube was blocked, but able to be cleared during the HSG.
I keep expecting/waiting for her to announce she is pg at family gatherings, but it hasn't happened yet. I have been praying for her to get pg before me since I already have two children. At DS2's b-day party two weeks ago I overheard her H telling my neighbor that they are having problems, but now think it is "just stress." My neighbor claimed the same issue plagued his wife. I got pissed and told these two guys that it isn't "just stress." This past weekend we all went out of town for a family wedding and we had a conversation about where she is in her struggles. (I am still lying to be people about why I am not drinking, etc, because DH wants to wait until we are closer to 2nd tri.) Then she said she thinks it is "just stress." Aargh! If you have a blocked tube and a probably non functioning ovary, stress isn't the issue!! (I swear that pisses me off so much, like a woman's thoughts make her infertile.) She has been on Letrozole for the last 5 cycles. She is going to do 6 total. What I didn't realize until later is that that will be the end of the road for them. They are very Conservative Catholics, so she won't be pursuing more treatment after that. At least that is what her overbearing mom told my mom.My aunt definitely will not approve of my doing an IUI this time.
So anyway now I feel really bad. I feel bad that I didn't confide in her that night, but I haven't told my sister yet, and she wasn't there. Our plan was to tell DS1 on Christmas morning by putting an u/s pic in a frame for him to unwrap. Then I was going to put the most recent portraits of DS1 and DS2 in a triple frame with an u/s pic in the 3rd spot for my g-ma to open at the family Christmas party. I was going to send my cousin an email on Saturday to give her a heads up. But now I'm not sure what to do.
FWIW, we let my dad announce our pregnancy with DS1 at a family party for his birthday at the end of the first tri. Then with DS2's pregnancy I told my mom and g-ma the day I got the positive beta, then my g-ma spilled the beans to the rest of the family a few weeks later at my other cousin's b-day party. So this is my last opportunity to be the one to announce it myself.
What would SaIF do?