Hello. First post here, so not sure exactly what to say, I am just in dire need of support and advice. I just recently found out I am pregnant. I had our first child together in July of this year. I went into preterm labor, and our son, Bo, did not survive. Four months before I had him, my husband was in the middle of a bitter custody battle with his ex wife. She retaliated by filing false police reports and false DHS reports alleging that I beat her son in order to better position herself for gaining full custody. I was completely blindsided by this, and everything unraveled from there. I lost my job because of it, had to spend thousands on attorneys, and quite literally had to fight for my life because she was doing everything she could to destroy it. The cop that filed the police report was a personal friend of hers and he filed it as a favor to her and pushed it through and made sure I was charged. They charged me with felony child abuse which carried a life sentence. I knew it was bogus, my family knew it was bogus, but given the fact that she and her crooked counterparts were able to pull it off as much as they had, I spent months living in a constant state of worry and fear about what was going to happen to me and my baby. It was absolute hell. My husband had week to week custody at that time, but because she had charges filed against me I could not be around their son, so my husband had to leave me every weekend and go stay with his mother just to see his son when he was not working, and that was horrible for me because I was such a mess and needed him so badly. There is SO much more I could say, but no one will ever understand unless they have been there too, not completely anyway, in regard to my mental state and how having something like that happen to you takes such a tole one you mentally and emotionally. My preterm labor was caused by this. The doctors told me after they did all their tests that there was no medical explanation for my water breaking. They said that the only thing they know is that the chronic acute stress I was under led to the PROM and labor. So, this evil awful terrible woman killed my child, and almost killed me because I had uncontrollable hemmoraging after Bo was born and almost went with him. They rushed me to surgery and saved me thankfully. Anyway, I buried my son because she is a spiteful hateful lying piece of trash and uses her son as a weapon against my husband out of sheer spite, jealousy, and greed (all she wanted was the child support full custody would provide her because she is a lazy no working idiot.) Their case eventually fell apart, it was all exposed, and the charges were dropped, but not before irreparable damage had been done. I was not allowed to see the child for seven months, it took seven months with court delays and no shows and postponements for it to all finally get dropped. He had issues to start with, but in those seven months his mother ruined him. He is uncontrollable. He has been diagnosed with ODD, ADHD, and I am sure many more to come. He is violent, cruel to animals (broke a puppies leg on purpose), makes threats of violence towards me and my husband, and has extreme anger and rage issues. He has regressed to about a 2 year old level. He has encopresis and enuresis, and sometimes goes through 12 pairs of pants and underwear a day. He is four.and a half. He bites, spits, cusses, throws inpatient level fits, and dominates my husbands every move and if he is not in total control, look out. There is no discipline, everyone just babies him and gives in to his every demand because it is what is easiest. My MIL, is essentially his other mother. My husband only married this boy's mother because she was pregnant and he was pressured into it by her and his family. She got pregnant on purpose to trap him because she is actually a lesbian, and thought that if she had a child and husband she could keep it in the closet better. Anyway, their marriage was very short lived, the child was a small infant when they divorced, and my MIL stepped in and became the mother figure on his dad's side, because my husband moved back in with her to have help with the child due to his work. I have been with his father since he just turned two. In the seven months I was not allowed around him, my MIL kept him through the week when my husband worked and my husband stayed with them on the weekends. She is extremely bonded and over obsessed with this child and refuses to see any of the extremely alarming and very terrible issues he has. Even though the charges are dropped and I can be around the child now, since Oct., he does not stay with us except for the one night a week my husband does not work. Other than that, he stays with her. We are not a family in any way. I am not his stepmother. I am his father's wife and nothing more. Between his mother poisoning his mind against me, his natural disposition, and my MIL, there is no room for me in his life, and he likes it just the way it is because he is worshipped and bowed down to at all times. Anyway, now that I am pregnant again, I feel like I am getting a second chance. My first pregnancy was so overwhelmed and overshadowed by all of the drama husband's ex created I didn't get to enjoy it and then to add insult to injury, my baby was taken away from me forever because of it. Since we found out that I am pregnant so close to Christmas, I told my husband I wanted to announce it to our families via a picture Christmas card/pregnancy announcement. I planned on making a big bow and putting it on my belly and having my and DH's picture made in front of Christmas decor and have the wording state, "God has given us a wonderful gift this Christmas for all to share, it just won't be ready for delivery until August. His mother knows I am pregnant, and when I told her I was going to tell the whole family at the Christmas party with a card like described, she didnt even blink an eye and said, "well as long as Bubby is in it with you." WHAT??? I about fell over. It knocked all the air out of me and quite frankly hurt my feelings. Here I am just finding out I am going to get a second chance at motherhood and she is already trying to hijack my pregnancy and make it, from the very start, all about him instead of this baby. I find it very inappropriate to include him at all, but especially with the way I want to announce it. It has nothing to do with him. I was so cheated with my first, and I feel like it is my right to expect excitement and want our families to celebrate this with us and for once it not be about him. Talk about stealing some thunder. Given all the issues and circumstances, I would rather not do it at all than have him in the picture, and that is not fair nor is it right for me or my child to not get to spread the news however I please without someone else trying to make it a negative experience. I really needs some honest opinions here. I know there are people out there who have been through similar situations, probably not many that have faced life in prison because they married a man with dysfunctional baggage, but at least the issue of the card. I am just so upset that it is starting already. I fully assumed and expected for my child to be overshadowed and be treated unfairly when it got here, my Bo's funeral couldn't even be about him, she made it all about DH's son too, no matter what I said or how I, the grieving half crazy mother, objected to him being there. I appreciate all responses and hope to get some desperately needed support. Thanks in advance.