School-Aged Children

Did you discuss with your kids?

Did you discuss the horrible CT school shooting with your kids?  How old are your kids?  If yes, what did you say?

 My kids are 4 1/2 (5 in March) and in PreK and 6 1/2 (in kindergarten) and we choose not to bring it up.  We turned off the TV and radio this weekend and while our Rabbi made mention and we had a moment of silence and said a prayer at Friday's night service, it was done in a way to not tell the kids anything that they may not already know about.  If the kids bring it up, I will sit down and tell them the very basics but I just don't know that I need to tell my young kids about this.

I have been in tears off and on since I heard the horrible news on Friday - all those innocent lives lost yet I have kept it away from my kids.  I hugged them more and loved on them more this weekend and especially this morning as I sent them both off to school.  My DD"s PreK teacher posted about the changes she plans to make in class and she commented that she hopes the parents understand.  I responded that whatever she wants to do to keep my baby safe (and all the others) is fine by me.  I will happily deal with locked doors and extra security in the hopes that my girls can keep their innocence for as long as possible.

Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 

Re: Did you discuss with your kids?

  • Our 13 yr old is well aware of what happend. Our 4 1/2 yr old no. He has no clue. And right now that is ok with me. We might say something after the holidays....


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  • We haven't yet, but they were wondering why I was hugging and crying at pickup Friday. I told them I was just so happy to see them (true!). I am from CT so between that and having 2 in K I am taking this very personally. I even wore one of my UCONN shirts to work today. I have no idea what to tell my kids, especially since my family is all there.....I don't want them to worry. But we do feel like we do need to discuss safety with them, but how the heck do you sit down with 6 years olds and prepare them for a gunman?! Mine have been through enough lately as my FIL died unexpectedly after an accident a few weeks ago. We did get a robocall from the school last night that the school will be going over safety protocols. *sigh*
    Miracle Twins after 2 years TTC thanks to IVF! 10*18*06
    Lilypie - (6EmG)


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  • We did not either... they are too young 6, 4, and 3 yrs old. We just moved from ct 6 months ago and had family and friends in the newtown community. If my 1st grader comes home today and asks question I will provide answers that are age appropriate.
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
  • We got an email from the district over the weekend and then about an hour after school started this morning the principal sent an email (she also sent one Friday afternoon).  Today's email was to let everyone know that the staff had a meeting this morning and reviewed how to handle the conversations if the kids brought it up (gently and with love and also to direct things back to the parents but to assure all they are safe) and to say that they will not be discussing this at school at all (on the bus, playgrounds, classes, etc) and that any staff that hears kids talking about it will be addressed nicely but they don't want it discussed in class in respect for all the kids that don't know about it.  The older kids mingle with the little ones a lot in our PreK to 6 school.  They also talked in all 3 emails that we got about the safety plans and all of that.  The schools has the lock down drills often.  All of the emails were great and very good to get (got 2 from my Temple as well).
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • image rsd12:
    We did not either... they are too young 6, 4, and 3 yrs old. We just moved from ct 6 months ago and had family and friends in the newtown community. If my 1st grader comes home today and asks question I will provide answers that are age appropriate.

     

    I am so sorry - this must be so hard especially given that you are from the area.  Sending hugs.

    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • We talked about it very briefly.  I just kept it simple: some people were shot in a school in Connecticut.  That's why we have such good security at our schools: so stuff like this doesn't happen.  We don't watch TV, so they haven't seen media coverage of it.  We only talked about it because we knew there would be announcements in school about it.

    Sure enough, the most they've heard about it is from the automated messages from their school principals on our phone. 

    Secondary English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 9th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 4th grade
  • DD's are 7&3 and we explained what happened to DD7, we decided we would rather tell her than have her hear it any where else. This happened about 40 minutes away from us and everyone is very shaken. There was also a high school kid arrested (and released) last night for making threats against the schools, prompting many parents to have a "fun day" home with their kids.
  • We told them, except for dd4. They would have, and did hear about it at school. Dd2 had a hard time with it, because the kids were her age. We're still talking to her about it, and probably will for a while, she's pretty sensitive. DS has been talking about it with his friends, they're all appalled that someone would hurt little kids. DD1 won't talk about it. 

    We woke up to kids in out bed Saturday morning. They're scared. I haven't told them its happened near us before.  


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    Logan 4.97~ Teagan 2.02 ~ Eirian 3.06 ~ Keira 2.08 ~ Seren 10.10
  • I'm a little annoyed because today we got a note home in their backpacks from their teacher (they're in the same K class) asking us not to talk about it with our kids.  I'm not sure that we will specifically explain the incident, we may just talk about safety....but I'm annoyed that they are telling us not to tell them.  They don't get to tell us what to tell our kids! 

    Angry

    Miracle Twins after 2 years TTC thanks to IVF! 10*18*06
    Lilypie - (6EmG)


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  • Screw that. This is a parenting decision; only you and their dad get a vote in this.
  • image MrsLee04:

    I'm a little annoyed because today we got a note home in their backpacks from their teacher (they're in the same K class) asking us not to talk about it with our kids.  I'm not sure that we will specifically explain the incident, we may just talk about safety....but I'm annoyed that they are telling us not to tell them.  They don't get to tell us what to tell our kids! 

    Angry

    What?!  I totally disagree!  I think home is the place where parents should talk about it, if they decide that's appropriate.

    I'm sure the school's goal is to minimize confusion and disruption in this last week before winter break starts, but to send home a note saying "don't talk about it" is really a poor choice. 

    Secondary English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 9th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 4th grade
  • We have not discussed anything with them.  DS is 4 and DD is 2.  I think it would just be very confusing for them.  Just hugged my babies tighter and told them how much I love them.  Things like this are just so awful...I don't want DS to be afraid to go to school.
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  • DS one found out from friends at school, he asked so we talked about very vaguely, and that was good enough for him. 
  • We did decide to talk about it because it had already leaked out to our elementary school and our kids 9, 8 ,5 and 3 had come home asking questions about the tragedy. We went the safety route in saying that if a bad guy with a gun came into your classroom to get under your desk and play dead. That is the only way that one little girl survived in her class when all of the other students and their teacher were gunned down. It broke our hearts that we had to tell them that there are bad people in the world who want to hurt others. This really shouldn't even need to be discussed with children, but unfortunately, that is the way that our sick world is coming to.
    Moms Helping Moms Work From Home Without Selling www.Enhancingfamilies.com
  • I had no intent to; however, DD learned at school (2nd grade).  I was caught off guard the first time it was brought up.  Luckily, I had a second chance when it was brought up again when just she and I were on a girl day.   I am glad I had a chance to explain better and go over some safety tips had it (hopefully not) ever happened at her school.   It was hard to choke down and like the pp it sucked letting her know that "bad, crazy" people do exist.  It could happen anywhere...I have asked her not to mention it to her 5 & 2 year old brothers.  
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  • I might be in the minority but I did tell my 6 year old DD.  She is not the overly sensitive type so I knew that I would be able to tell her without it truly affecting her. I just told her that a bad man went to a school and had a gun and a lot of people, which included mostly children were killed.  I told her that I wanted her to alert any adult if she were to see an unknown person on school grounds because it could be a serious situation.
    ~Jessica~ 


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